Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
so a little over a month ago i met this guy on an online dating site. i was fresh off a pretty jarring experience dating a psychopath liar for a very short term and looking to be distracted and move on. i logged on my okc account for what would be one of the last times and casually chat with who appeared to be an okay-looking guy. his profile didn't entice me much nor did it bring up under the surface redflags so i figured whats the harm in a quick meet?
so we meet and in person, again i was quite indifferent. physically he was quite cute and had a really amazing build, well dressed and largely aesthetically pleasing except for the slightly awkward manner in which he carried himself. i couldnt tell if he was just socially awkward or nervous because of meeting me. (most guys tend to go bezerk in my presence especially on dates. im not a particularly scary person so im not quite sure why i seem to give them the gitters) he was a thorough gentleman tho and we had a really interesting conversation. i was thinking "oh, he's cool." but wasn't thinking of him in romantic terms until halfway through he pointblankly said, "i want to take you to a second date"....i didnt know how to say no so i said "yes that should be fun"
so we go on date 2. things get better and in our 3rd date i began to feel more attracted to him. a month and a half into this i obviously do find him attractive but i'm realizing...im not that crazy about him. there are times when i find him look at him with that puppydog look and i dont have the heart to meet his eyes...
is this normal? will i begin to feel more and more attracted to him the more we hang out?
after a month and a half, I don't think your attraction will grow much more at this point. You can give it another few weeks if you really want to see but it sounds like it won't change.
so a little over a month ago i met this guy on an online dating site. i was fresh off a pretty jarring experience dating a psychopath liar for a very short term and looking to be distracted and move on.
This is all many of us need to know about you. You are obviously not ready for another relationship because you still have "issues" with the guy you mentioned here. The fact that you had to go on about him instead of just saying "I recently ended a relationship" says you have issues going on here and as such, you are not ready for another relationship right now until you get over this.
so a little over a month ago i met this guy on an online dating site. i was fresh off a pretty jarring experience dating a psychopath liar for a very short term and looking to be distracted and move on. i logged on my okc account for what would be one of the last times and casually chat with who appeared to be an okay-looking guy. his profile didn't entice me much nor did it bring up under the surface redflags so i figured whats the harm in a quick meet?
so we meet and in person, again i was quite indifferent. physically he was quite cute and had a really amazing build, well dressed and largely aesthetically pleasing except for the slightly awkward manner in which he carried himself. i couldnt tell if he was just socially awkward or nervous because of meeting me. (most guys tend to go bezerk in my presence especially on dates. im not a particularly scary person so im not quite sure why i seem to give them the gitters) he was a thorough gentleman tho and we had a really interesting conversation. i was thinking "oh, he's cool." but wasn't thinking of him in romantic terms until halfway through he pointblankly said, "i want to take you to a second date"....i didnt know how to say no so i said "yes that should be fun"
so we go on date 2. things get better and in our 3rd date i began to feel more attracted to him. a month and a half into this i obviously do find him attractive but i'm realizing...im not that crazy about him. there are times when i find him look at him with that puppydog look and i dont have the heart to meet his eyes...
is this normal? will i begin to feel more and more attracted to him the more we hang out?
You can certainly learn to like someone more, but if there aren't any sparks this early on, there probably won't be. It's either there or it isn't. You can't force chemistry or sparks, it either has that "thing" or it doesn't.
If you have no desire to take this beyond the platonic level, it would be best to let him know that sooner rather than later.
This is all many of us need to know about you. You are obviously not ready for another relationship because you still have "issues" with the guy you mentioned here. The fact that you had to go on about him instead of just saying "I recently ended a relationship" says you have issues going on here and as such, you are not ready for another relationship right now until you get over this.
^This.
And I smell attention w**** as well.
"so we meet and in person, again i was quite indifferent. physically he was quite cute and had a really amazing build, well dressed and largely aesthetically pleasing except for the slightly awkward manner in which he carried himself. i couldnt tell if he was just socially awkward or nervous because of meeting me. (most guys tend to go bezerk in my presence especially on dates. im not a particularly scary person so im not quite sure why i seem to give them the gitters")
"so we meet and in person, again i was quite indifferent. physically he was quite cute and had a really amazing build, well dressed and largely aesthetically pleasing except for the slightly awkward manner in which he carried himself. i couldnt tell if he was just socially awkward or nervous because of meeting me. (most guys tend to go bezerk in my presence especially on dates. im not a particularly scary person so im not quite sure why i seem to give them the gitters")
what you bolded has nothing to do with attention w***ing. I can relate. men get all jittery around me too..but then it stops after 2 dates lol.
so a little over a month ago i met this guy on an online dating site. i was fresh off a pretty jarring experience dating a psychopath liar for a very short term and looking to be distracted and move on. i logged on my okc account for what would be one of the last times and casually chat with who appeared to be an okay-looking guy. his profile didn't entice me much nor did it bring up under the surface redflags so i figured whats the harm in a quick meet?
so we meet and in person, again i was quite indifferent. physically he was quite cute and had a really amazing build, well dressed and largely aesthetically pleasing except for the slightly awkward manner in which he carried himself. i couldnt tell if he was just socially awkward or nervous because of meeting me. (most guys tend to go bezerk in my presence especially on dates. im not a particularly scary person so im not quite sure why i seem to give them the gitters) he was a thorough gentleman tho and we had a really interesting conversation. i was thinking "oh, he's cool." but wasn't thinking of him in romantic terms until halfway through he pointblankly said, "i want to take you to a second date"....i didnt know how to say no so i said "yes that should be fun"
so we go on date 2. things get better and in our 3rd date i began to feel more attracted to him. a month and a half into this i obviously do find him attractive but i'm realizing...im not that crazy about him. there are times when i find him look at him with that puppydog look and i dont have the heart to meet his eyes...
is this normal? will i begin to feel more and more attracted to him the more we hang out?
Are you sure you can tell the difference between "She''s HOT jittery" and "Damn! She needs some deoderant jittery?" Just sayin! If you couldnt tell your ex was a phsyco after 3 dates how can you tell whats giving this one the jitters?
You can certainly learn to like someone more, but if there aren't any sparks this early on, there probably won't be. It's either there or it isn't. You can't force chemistry or sparks, it either has that "thing" or it doesn't.
If you have no desire to take this beyond the platonic level, it would be best to let him know that sooner rather than later.
yeah it took me a long time to feel "sparks" with him. our first kiss was so...not sparks-inducing. but after having spent the night at his place cuddling for hours i leave feeling happy and comfy and cared for. its a nice feeling...its just...i wish there was that OMG spark. it hasnt been there yet. not at all saying that i don't like him as an individual or something. i love spending time with him, we have a natural, unforced, no-stress chemistry...and he adores me. making me breakfast. carrying me out to the table, dining and wining me. he goes all out...he seems like such a great guy...i dont know why im not head over heels yet
what you bolded has nothing to do with attention w***ing. I can relate. men get all jittery around me too..but then it stops after 2 dates lol.
In the context of the OP's body of work on this forum, I think I'm pretty accurate. Now I also understand that you and OP, from looking at both of your pix, do cause this reaction in our gender, but she's been really disingenuous about it.
Break it off, nicely. He hasn't done anything to hurt you from what you've said, so try to be as kind as possible.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.