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Old 12-01-2011, 11:37 AM
 
Location: Sputnik Planitia
7,303 posts, read 10,347,869 times
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Have any of you married someone that you were not in love with? For the sole purpose of "settling down" due to whatever pressures - age, companionship, having children etc. How did that turn out?
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Old 12-01-2011, 12:21 PM
 
10,531 posts, read 14,505,333 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by k374 View Post
Have any of you married someone that you were not in love with? For the sole purpose of "settling down" due to whatever pressures - age, companionship, having children etc. How did that turn out?
Pffffttt...

Define love.

I've never been married but know a lot of married couples and no matter how you define it, the answer is yes.
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Old 12-01-2011, 12:40 PM
 
15,016 posts, read 19,993,885 times
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I know someone who did and she doesnt even have or want kids nor was she old. She did it because she was tired of chasing players and wanted to settle down. She's not in love with her husband but she's happier because hes giving her that settled-ness and companionship that she wants. Her rationale is that she would have never gotten that player anyway so she's not missing anything. I think she's right.

Last edited by srjth; 12-01-2011 at 12:54 PM..
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Old 12-01-2011, 01:11 PM
 
406 posts, read 732,921 times
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The man I am married to now did.
It did not end well. He was dating a girl while he was in the Army. He thought he made it perfectly clear that once the Army moved him, he was out of there. Kind of a "it was fun while it lasted" thing. She wanted more. Next thing he knew, she was pregnant. He always felt that she got pregnant on purpose. I have no idea whether she did or not, but she didn't do it w/out his help. Anyway, he was quite angry and very resentful ... but eventually he married her, b/c he thought he could give his daughter a better life. It lasted four years, and those four years were not good ones.
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Old 12-01-2011, 01:12 PM
 
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I couldn't think of a more worse thing to do.....
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Old 12-01-2011, 02:03 PM
 
951 posts, read 1,723,927 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by srjth View Post
I know someone who did and she doesnt even have or want kids nor was she old. She did it because she was tired of chasing players and wanted to settle down. She's not in love with her husband but she's happier because hes giving her that settled-ness and companionship that she wants. Her rationale is that she would have never gotten that player anyway so she's not missing anything. I think she's right.
This is certainly a big problem for men, now days. By modern standards (a combination of film/TV and feminist doctrine) 80% of men are not what women want. No love is likely but when they realize that they'll need to settle to cash in on marriage, women will pick somebody. Little down side to it anymore either, unless being played and taken for most of what he has, pushes him over the edge.
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Old 12-01-2011, 02:09 PM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
11,495 posts, read 24,603,263 times
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It's usually the other way around. You're madly in love with the person until you have to live with them, and then reality sets in.

I do know someone who got married for convenience...actually, because they were both military and both got paid more if they were married, so they married each other but never lived together. Then he started dating someone else and got in big trouble, so they had to admit that they only married to get more money. Both nearly got a dishonorable discharge, and now they're trying to get a divorce.
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Old 12-01-2011, 04:00 PM
 
Location: Maryland not Murlin
8,334 posts, read 23,943,286 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hedgehog_Mom View Post
It's usually the other way around. You're madly in love with the person until you have to live with them, and then reality sets in.
I agree! I have always said that you never truly know someone until you live with them.
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Old 12-01-2011, 04:02 PM
 
406 posts, read 732,921 times
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Originally Posted by Aganusn View Post
I couldn't think of a more worse thing to do.....
yup.... heck, it's hard enough when you do love the person.
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Old 12-01-2011, 04:05 PM
 
Location: NY
9,131 posts, read 17,738,680 times
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I cannot imagine deciding to marry someone I did not love. The person your marrying your going to be living with daily with all kinds of financial ties and obligations. When problems arise, and you know you have no love for the person, it will get awfully difficult. It is difficult enough to live with people you do love!

If people just want to be settled and have a companion in their home, co-habitation sounds better

Quote:
Originally Posted by bitterclinger View Post
She wanted more. Next thing he knew, she was pregnant. He always felt that she got pregnant on purpose. I have no idea whether she did or not, but she didn't do it w/out his help.
Off topic, but I love when I hear guys say this. Yes, I know a woman could lie about being on birth control or whatever, but a guy also knows there are risks involved in certain activities, even when precautions are taken.
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