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Have any of you married someone that you were not in love with? For the sole purpose of "settling down" due to whatever pressures - age, companionship, having children etc. How did that turn out?
Have any of you married someone that you were not in love with? For the sole purpose of "settling down" due to whatever pressures - age, companionship, having children etc. How did that turn out?
Pffffttt...
Define love.
I've never been married but know a lot of married couples and no matter how you define it, the answer is yes.
I know someone who did and she doesnt even have or want kids nor was she old. She did it because she was tired of chasing players and wanted to settle down. She's not in love with her husband but she's happier because hes giving her that settled-ness and companionship that she wants. Her rationale is that she would have never gotten that player anyway so she's not missing anything. I think she's right.
The man I am married to now did.
It did not end well. He was dating a girl while he was in the Army. He thought he made it perfectly clear that once the Army moved him, he was out of there. Kind of a "it was fun while it lasted" thing. She wanted more. Next thing he knew, she was pregnant. He always felt that she got pregnant on purpose. I have no idea whether she did or not, but she didn't do it w/out his help. Anyway, he was quite angry and very resentful ... but eventually he married her, b/c he thought he could give his daughter a better life. It lasted four years, and those four years were not good ones.
I know someone who did and she doesnt even have or want kids nor was she old. She did it because she was tired of chasing players and wanted to settle down. She's not in love with her husband but she's happier because hes giving her that settled-ness and companionship that she wants. Her rationale is that she would have never gotten that player anyway so she's not missing anything. I think she's right.
This is certainly a big problem for men, now days. By modern standards (a combination of film/TV and feminist doctrine) 80% of men are not what women want. No love is likely but when they realize that they'll need to settle to cash in on marriage, women will pick somebody. Little down side to it anymore either, unless being played and taken for most of what he has, pushes him over the edge.
It's usually the other way around. You're madly in love with the person until you have to live with them, and then reality sets in.
I do know someone who got married for convenience...actually, because they were both military and both got paid more if they were married, so they married each other but never lived together. Then he started dating someone else and got in big trouble, so they had to admit that they only married to get more money. Both nearly got a dishonorable discharge, and now they're trying to get a divorce.
I cannot imagine deciding to marry someone I did not love. The person your marrying your going to be living with daily with all kinds of financial ties and obligations. When problems arise, and you know you have no love for the person, it will get awfully difficult. It is difficult enough to live with people you do love!
If people just want to be settled and have a companion in their home, co-habitation sounds better
Quote:
Originally Posted by bitterclinger
She wanted more. Next thing he knew, she was pregnant. He always felt that she got pregnant on purpose. I have no idea whether she did or not, but she didn't do it w/out his help.
Off topic, but I love when I hear guys say this. Yes, I know a woman could lie about being on birth control or whatever, but a guy also knows there are risks involved in certain activities, even when precautions are taken.
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