U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 12-08-2011, 12:44 PM
 
13,526 posts, read 18,066,644 times
Reputation: 16523

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by Capt. Dan View Post
Chalk it up as a "lesson learned" about dating coworkers. Thats why I strictly enforce the rules against this here at work.
Capt. Dans right!!
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 12-08-2011, 09:00 PM
 
230 posts, read 299,299 times
Reputation: 313
Quote:
Originally Posted by Suncc49 View Post
Why are women always looking for some sort of retribution/revenge in a situation like this?

WAS HE YOUR BOYFRIEND??

Um no. Boyfriend or not, it doesn't excuse his behavior and how it affects people. I accepted that he wasn't going to take things further after a while and thought we could respect each other as colleagues, even friends, esp since he'd continue to ask me to lunch and unload his woes, depression, stories about his kids on me. In between it all, he'd still send out those invitations and never follow through as if I still wanted him.

I realized he never had respect for me or genuine concern like he always exhibited. It was all an act, considering he ran off once I called him out. I was just an ego stroke for him. I could go into greater detail about his skilled manipulation but this forum isn't the place for novella writing.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-08-2011, 09:05 PM
 
230 posts, read 299,299 times
Reputation: 313
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ed_RDNC View Post
Don't focus on your dreams to get even. That will only hurt you.

The best revenge is to live better.
Move on, enjoy your life until you find someone who will make you happy, and
then you will have a nice life enhanced by a nice man.
Won't that be the best revenge??
Lots of great feedback from you and others. I agree the key thing here is to move on! He's not thinking about me, so why think about him?
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-08-2011, 09:07 PM
 
230 posts, read 299,299 times
Reputation: 313
Quote:
Originally Posted by Capt. Dan View Post
Chalk it up as a "lesson learned" about dating coworkers. Thats why I strictly enforce the rules against this here at work.
Word!
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-08-2011, 09:54 PM
 
2,013 posts, read 3,393,800 times
Reputation: 2161
Quote:
Originally Posted by gymRAT3311 View Post
I'm pissed that he got away with his game and the fact that I still have to see him every day at work doesn't help. I'd love to out him to our other co-workers but I don't want to be childish. Should I get a new job?
He's such a... nobody.

And you two ladies actually make him feel like he's "somebody". I'll bet you money he's not even "all that".

Move on.

No need to brainstorm about this.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-08-2011, 10:16 PM
 
479 posts, read 800,086 times
Reputation: 444
Quote:
Originally Posted by ferretkona View Post
There is a reason not to combine pleasure and business.
You could report him to HR on sexual harrasment.
Men, this is exactly why you should NOT even bother to talk with women at work. Beyond hello and strictly business.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-09-2011, 12:36 AM
 
Location: Ohio
3,440 posts, read 5,783,620 times
Reputation: 2693
Quote:
Originally Posted by Antlered Chamataka View Post
Is this some hillbilly office shack?

Who the heck plays these moronic romance games at work? Unreal.
It happens a lot more than you might think, that's why I said never get personally involved with a person at work.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-09-2011, 06:21 AM
 
Location: NC
6,032 posts, read 8,676,353 times
Reputation: 6371
Quote:
Originally Posted by gymRAT3311 View Post
Um no. Boyfriend or not, it doesn't excuse his behavior and how it affects people. I accepted that he wasn't going to take things further after a while and thought we could respect each other as colleagues, even friends, esp since he'd continue to ask me to lunch and unload his woes, depression, stories about his kids on me. In between it all, he'd still send out those invitations and never follow through as if I still wanted him.

I realized he never had respect for me or genuine concern like he always exhibited. It was all an act, considering he ran off once I called him out. I was just an ego stroke for him. I could go into greater detail about his skilled manipulation but this forum isn't the place for novella writing.
Center of your own world much?

You guys have no commitment, yet you are going headhunting against him for revenge.

He missed out on you, in your head that should be punishment enough. I hope the work security cameras catch you keying his car or whatever retribution you have planned.


Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-09-2011, 09:08 AM
 
2,112 posts, read 2,564,986 times
Reputation: 1772
Quote:
Originally Posted by gymRAT3311 View Post
I learned that a co-worker led me on for months while he was seeing another co-worker. I had no clue they dated. The other woman is no longer with him and we became friends.

We compared notes and we filled in a lot of blanks for one another regarding our experiences with this guy. He's super charming and knows how to keep you interested just enough to keep you stuck on him. He really played me for a fool, insisting on seeing certain movies with me, but never calling and telling me to call him, only to blow me off and not return my call. He wined and dined me after work and continued to ask me if I wanted to go out with him on weekends, but never followed through.

I later found out that he saw those movies with her. Turns out he only used her and was camped out at her place every weekend he wasn't with his kids and being real intense with her. Insisting that he loved her and constantly emailing, texting, etc. After several months he decided to move on from her, but wouldn't tell her. She said they were so intense and he was the perfect gentleman the whole time, but then he started avoiding her at work with no explanation and she had to track him down to get one. I told him that I feel like he doesn't respect me and he just shrugged his shoulders and walked off. We haven't been speaking since.

I've learned that everything about this guy is such a facade. I'm pissed that he got away with his game and the fact that I still have to see him every day at work doesn't help. I'd love to out him to our other co-workers but I don't want to be childish. Should I get a new job?
Don't quit your job unless you can afford to or you really hate your job.

Don't bad-mouth him because it just makes you look bad and gives your manager an excuse to fire you if necessary.

I think you can take a lot from this experience. You learned how a two-timer behaves and hopefully not to fall for that again, and you got a new friend who knows exactly how you feel. Lesson learned. Just don't let him bother you (still be civil in front of others) and get on with your life. That's the best "revenge".
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-09-2011, 10:41 AM
 
Location: Long Island, NY
7,844 posts, read 12,425,598 times
Reputation: 9238
Quote:
Originally Posted by ferretkona View Post
There is a reason not to combine pleasure and business.
You could report him to HR on sexual harrasment.
Sexual harrasment is when it's unwanted advances. They are both mature adults who both consented. The problem would be if one them was the others managers. If she goes to HR it may come across as retaliation. This is why most companies frown upon co-workers dating. I've seen it at my office and other departments.

OP, no need to get another job. Just put it behind you and move on. If you see he's putting the moves on other women at your job, you can either be honest with them and let them know what happened or let them figure him out on his own. If he continues to make advances towards you now and you don't want to get involved then you would need to see your supervisor. HR is a last resort when there is no resolution.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 11:09 PM.

© 2005-2022, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top