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Old 12-07-2011, 08:54 PM
 
230 posts, read 297,788 times
Reputation: 313

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I learned that a co-worker led me on for months while he was seeing another co-worker. I had no clue they dated. The other woman is no longer with him and we became friends.

We compared notes and we filled in a lot of blanks for one another regarding our experiences with this guy. He's super charming and knows how to keep you interested just enough to keep you stuck on him. He really played me for a fool, insisting on seeing certain movies with me, but never calling and telling me to call him, only to blow me off and not return my call. He wined and dined me after work and continued to ask me if I wanted to go out with him on weekends, but never followed through.

I later found out that he saw those movies with her. Turns out he only used her and was camped out at her place every weekend he wasn't with his kids and being real intense with her. Insisting that he loved her and constantly emailing, texting, etc. After several months he decided to move on from her, but wouldn't tell her. She said they were so intense and he was the perfect gentleman the whole time, but then he started avoiding her at work with no explanation and she had to track him down to get one. I told him that I feel like he doesn't respect me and he just shrugged his shoulders and walked off. We haven't been speaking since.

I've learned that everything about this guy is such a facade. I'm pissed that he got away with his game and the fact that I still have to see him every day at work doesn't help. I'd love to out him to our other co-workers but I don't want to be childish. Should I get a new job?
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Old 12-07-2011, 08:58 PM
 
Location: Pa
42,759 posts, read 49,677,367 times
Reputation: 25308
No don't get a new job. Set him up. Set him up with some horrible egotistical controlling freak!
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Old 12-07-2011, 09:12 PM
 
Location: Southern California
15,083 posts, read 19,347,417 times
Reputation: 10325
Quote:
Originally Posted by gymRAT3311 View Post
...

I've learned that everything about this guy is such a facade. I'm pissed that he got away with his game and the fact that I still have to see him every day at work doesn't help. I'd love to out him to our other co-workers but I don't want to be childish. Should I get a new job?
No. Blow him off and forgetaboutit...
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Old 12-07-2011, 09:15 PM
 
25,735 posts, read 28,685,683 times
Reputation: 24547
Quote:
Originally Posted by MIKEETC View Post
No. Blow him off and forgetaboutit...
This. Do not give up a good job over a bad dating experience.
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Old 12-07-2011, 10:21 PM
 
1,592 posts, read 3,242,742 times
Reputation: 2146
Sounds like you dodged a bullet.
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Old 12-07-2011, 10:21 PM
 
Location: Columbia, California
6,664 posts, read 29,034,462 times
Reputation: 5140
There is a reason not to combine pleasure and business.
You could report him to HR on sexual harrasment.
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Old 12-07-2011, 10:27 PM
 
Location: Southern California
15,083 posts, read 19,347,417 times
Reputation: 10325
Quote:
Originally Posted by ferretkona View Post
There is a reason not to combine pleasure and business.
You could report him to HR on sexual harrasment.
She would have to show that his activities were unwelcome or that he was pressuring her into the relationship with the potential of negative repercussions if she didn't cooperate. But it appears she was a willing participant and was under no pressure to do so.

[with that stated, that's a double-edged sword because he could try to claim she harrassed him)
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Old 12-07-2011, 11:08 PM
 
Location: 39 20' 59"N / 75 30' 53"W
16,078 posts, read 26,819,558 times
Reputation: 18131
Quote:
Originally Posted by ferretkona View Post
There is a reason not to combine pleasure and business.
You could report him to HR on sexual harrasment.
Maybe I missed something, I don't see grounds for sexual harrassment.
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Old 12-07-2011, 11:11 PM
 
1,833 posts, read 2,377,255 times
Reputation: 1637
Quote:
Originally Posted by ferretkona View Post
There is a reason not to combine pleasure and business.
You could report him to HR on sexual harrasment.

That would be filing a false complaint. You don't report something like that to get even. If HR finds out the complaint is bogus, you could end up out of a job.
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Old 12-07-2011, 11:20 PM
 
Location: Ohio
3,440 posts, read 5,755,237 times
Reputation: 2692
This is an example of reason 14 of why you do not have a personal relationship with a person at work, yes, some of them work but that is rare.

Don't quit because of this joker, as of now you don't have a harassment case, but if he continues to go bug you after you told him to stop, you will.
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