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Here's what I think: leading a guy on by withholding sex is not going to suddenly and magically make him fall in love with you. He has to like you for who you are already. If he does, sleeping with him is not going to change that.
Really??!! REally? How is developing a emotional, mental connection first leading a guy on? What is a relationship to you? What does it entail exactly? I could twist your logic and say sex will not magically make him fall in love with you either and by experience, I know that, no matter how great it is. You seem very young and heavily influenced by a media that treats casual sex, um, casually.
Men are different from women because they see T & A and want to bang it. It's that crude. Just pure sex for the joy of it. That's how they think. Is that what you want? No, you think it means something more and that's where you are wrong. Hey, I'm a girl trying to help you here. He doesn't have to like you, he'd be willing to put a bag over your head and a gag on your mouth and still do you.
Quote:z" If he does, sleeping with him is not going to change that."
my wife and i had sex less than 2 hours after being introduced. we are still together and happily married over 17 years later. guess i'm glad we waited a while, imagine what i would have missed out on had we just screwed right there on the pool table instead of waiting until we got to my house and in the pool.
What waiting may do is help elminate some of the people who don't really want a lasting relationship. What not waiting may do is help eliminate some people who aren't sexually compatible.
Basically, waiting or not has much less to do the potential for a long-term relationship than the intentions of both, and - more importantly - their overall compatibility. Intentions don't matter if you're not their match.
Really??!! REally? How is developing a emotional, mental connection first leading a guy on? What is a relationship to you? What does it entail exactly? I could twist your logic and say sex will not magically make him fall in love with you either and by experience, I know that, no matter how great it is. You seem very young and heavily influenced by a media that treats casual sex, um, casually.
Men are different from women because they see T & A and want to bang it. It's that crude. Just pure sex for the joy of it. That's how they think. Is that what you want? No, you think it means something more and that's where you are wrong. Hey, I'm a girl trying to help you here. He doesn't have to like you, he'd be willing to put a bag over your head and a gag on your mouth and still do you.
Quote:z" If he does, sleeping with him is not going to change that."
That's a BIG IF.
I think you're lumping two different types of people in the same category.
One is the type who just likes to have casual sex and isn't looking for anything serious.
The other seems like they're out for revenge and lying and manipulating women to get them into bed.
While it's true that abstaining from sex will weed these types of people out, they won't like you less if you sleep with them. Sleeping with them has no bearing on whether they will be in a relationship with you - they've already made up their minds BEFORE sleeping with you that they don't want a relationship.
No I dont. I think sex early is better. If you are not compatible sexually then you have just wasted months of your time. I once waited 3 months and after sleeping with her, i found out she smelled really bad down there and after that I could never look at her in the same way again.
What waiting may do is help elminate some of the people who don't really want a lasting relationship. What not waiting may do is help eliminate some people who aren't sexually compatible.
Basically, waiting or not has much less to do the potential for a long-term relationship than the intentions of both, and - more importantly - their overall compatibility. Intentions don't matter if you're not their match.
Right on as usual TDude-
In my case having sex early (which is entirely subjective) has no bearing on how long a relationship will last. As pointed out above Sexual incompatibility may come out sooner if you start earlier in the relationship. I was seeing someone a couple of years ago who on the surface was great: Bright, Attractive, carried herself well but the sex was so mediocre and had no chance of improvement even with all of the communication in the world. We went out for 4 months and 20+ times before we had sex. Did it make any difference in the end whether we started early or not, No.
On the other hand, the childish notion that a girl who puts out early in a relationship is some how bad, is exactly that "Childish" and Sexist to boot. I remember some of that crap as a teen ager, it has no place as a mature adult!
Really??!! REally? How is developing a emotional, mental connection first leading a guy on? What is a relationship to you? What does it entail exactly? I could twist your logic and say sex will not magically make him fall in love with you either and by experience, I know that, no matter how great it is. You seem very young and heavily influenced by a media that treats casual sex, um, casually.
Men are different from women because they see T & A and want to bang it. It's that crude. Just pure sex for the joy of it. That's how they think. Is that what you want? No, you think it means something more and that's where you are wrong. Hey, I'm a girl trying to help you here. He doesn't have to like you, he'd be willing to put a bag over your head and a gag on your mouth and still do you.
Quote:z" If he does, sleeping with him is not going to change that."
That's a BIG IF.
Jeeze calm down lol. I don't think that is what she was saying at all. Of course it is good to wait to develop a connection with someone before you have sex with them, if that's what you feel you need to do. What I see a lot on this forum though, is women having sex in exchange for something, (commitment, I guess. I don't understand it) "If you prove to me that you can be a good little boy and wait for some arbitrary amount of time that I made up, then I'll reward you with sex." Like they're giving a puppy a treat. I think many women use sex as a tool to barter with, "give me this and I give you sex" and that, to me is leading a guy on and playing games.
I think the only time you should really be concerned about "waiting" is if it has anything to do with either of you losing your virginity.
That is worth protecting...for a little while at least.
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