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Old 12-10-2011, 01:30 PM
826 posts, read 1,887,511 times
Reputation: 1302


Where I live (Midwest city), I find that the vast majority of people meet their partners in the bar. It is considered a place to flirt, socialize, make friends or possibly hook up with others.

Nothing wrong with that

Problem is, I don't drink. Don't get me wrong, I am not judging it or judging the people that do. I just never liked the taste of alchohol and Yes, I tried. I could also do without the smoke in those venues. But I feel like the fact that I don't go to bars or drink is limiting my social/dating life. There are many young, professional people who go to bars and I am missing out on meeting those people. I feel like far more people go to bars than to gyms, churches or other typically recommended spots to meet people. Also, on a professinal level, many people in Financial Services (my field) network in bars and it seems like it is necessary for advancement.

I have tried going to bars a few times with people in my meetup groups but the experience was just ok, not enjoyable. Either the bar was loud, or it was just full of a bunch of friends huddled together chatting and drinking, or it was full of the aforementioned smoke that make my eyes red. There was really nothing about the experience that made me say "Yay, this is SO AWESOME. ". At least in a club, you get to dance. What's the fun in just sitting around drinking?

But like I said, from a personal and professional perspective, it seems like an establishment I need to learn to enjoy. So my question is, has anyone learnt to go to a bar and enjoy it without drinking? Or is this an impossible quest? What is fun about going to bars? Are people having fun because they are buzzed?

Edited to add: All the friends I've had both now and in the past either never drank or never needed to when we were together. This was not deliberate. It's just how it happened.
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Old 12-10-2011, 01:37 PM
Location: Coastal Mid-Atlantic
6,706 posts, read 4,354,930 times
Reputation: 8301
Women that drink excessively is only cool to those that are 18 or younger.
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Old 12-10-2011, 01:42 PM
Location: USA
1,818 posts, read 2,674,048 times
Reputation: 4172
I don't drink either, but I occasionally go to bars to listen to live music. Where are you that smoking is allowed? There hasn't been smoking allowed in any public place here for years. As far as whether you can meet someone in a bar...not likely. The music is way too loud for talking and most people are there as a couple.
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Old 12-10-2011, 01:50 PM
Location: Seattle
1,568 posts, read 3,213,056 times
Reputation: 1623
Would recommend finding the right bar and right drink!
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Old 12-10-2011, 01:53 PM
Location: Texas
44,257 posts, read 64,039,612 times
Reputation: 73913
Yes. I have learned that I don't enjoy dating someone who does not drink at all...and at the same time, anyone who drinks to get drunk or drinks more than a couple of times a week is also not for me.
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Old 12-10-2011, 02:04 PM
18,837 posts, read 37,195,392 times
Reputation: 26457
I can't go to bars. I am a binge drinker, and thus know I can't drink at all. I have stayed away from bars for years, and consequently, have met no one to date. I refuse internet dating.

So, the truth is people do socialize and meet at bars. If you don't do that, or internet dating, you have severely limited the amount of people you will meet.

All those stupid dating books say you can meet someone at the gym, or Wal-Mart, or sipping a coffee are full of it.
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Old 12-10-2011, 02:06 PM
25,080 posts, read 16,270,661 times
Reputation: 41802
I am not really a big drinker... but I like a beer from time to time and that doesn't interfere with my social life even if I hang out with friends at the local bar and grill. Everyone gets what suits their fancy...
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Old 12-10-2011, 02:12 PM
3,111 posts, read 8,027,624 times
Reputation: 4272
My problem was that I could not stop drinking. So, while I spent a good amount of time in bars, I was too drunk to accomplish anything with quality women, and instead would wake up next to ugly, large, undesirable women.
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Old 12-10-2011, 02:12 PM
Location: The Garden State
1,331 posts, read 2,977,573 times
Reputation: 1387
My lack of drinking has not hurt my social/dating life because I'm married. I spend most of my free time with my family or with friends who also do not drink.

However my lack of drinking has hurt my career. I know for a fact that people that "play the game" get the perks. It may not be fair but thats life.
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Old 12-10-2011, 02:19 PM
Location: Mountains of Oregon
17,608 posts, read 22,508,958 times
Reputation: 14310
I've met some very nice ladies in bars. I go to a place where we bbq outside on nice days, we play some horseshoes,have some drinks. Inside we can play pool, shuffleboard or darts. We do some dancing. A lot of times we go close to where we are boonie camping & fishin'. Lots of Fun...
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