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In Subway today, I neglected to hold the door open for some 20 year old woman and she cussed me. I laughed and said "you're not God, nobody has to acceed to you".
Why do younger people assume that all must like/acceed to them?
Another thing, I laughed as I left the place with my order, since some things never cease to amaze me. In this case, mentally unfit persons.
I think it is rude not to hold the door for someone actually. I would not curse because I don't swear but yes I would find it a little churlish. I hold the door for people and I am disabled. I will even give my seat up on the bus to pregnant women and elderly people even though I walk with a stick.
I navigate social situations with as much courtesy as I can. Manners are important to me and I try to treat others as I would like to be treated. It is what I was taught growing up and I think it is the right way to behave socially.
I always try to be thoughtful and polite and to remember people's names, birthdays, kids' names , jobs, hobbies etc... I try to empathise with others .
I am almost pathologically shy and socially awkward but to me manners are nonetheless paramount. If someone invites me to dinner I will eat whatever they have been good enough to cook for me even if I hate it . Unless I am very allergic I would for example find it increidbly childish and churlish to refuse. I send thank you cards if someone has done something nice to me. I send e-cards for no reasons to people.
I don't enjoy social situations but I don't see why I should make other people pay because of my problem. As uncomfortable as I am at parties I always try my best to be nice, pleasant and friendly.
If someone swears at me I will either ignore it or come back with something sharp but not offensive. Ie : I stand up for myself but do not see why I should be crude in the process.
Manners work both ways though. Like love and friendship. I am offended by people who are selfish and show no regards for others .It irks me.
If I am struggling to get through a door I expect someone to hold the door for me. Not because I am female but because I am a human being.
As human beings we are social animals and as such have signed up to an unwritten but tacit contract of social behaviour which should proclude behaving like an ape. Unless we remove ourselves from society and become hermits I see humans as having certain duties towards others as well as rights.
Just because I am having a bad day and feeling miserable does not mean I have the right to make other people pay for my problems , unless they are directly responsible for it.
I think therefore I am , therefore I think before I act or speak. My rules of social engagement, I realise they are old fashioned and a tad passe for some.
You are making this too complicated . . . good manners are simply good manners. I do what I feel is polite and mannerly, regardless of how others around me are acting.
It is impolite to just let a door slam on someone else. However, if I had someone do that to me, I would not say anything about it - I would just assume that the person was yet another preoccupied, impolite person who wasn't "raised right," lol.
What you send out into the space around you comes back to you. If you are negative and impolite, others will respond to you in the same manner.
We create a bubble around ourselves and others sense it.
People have to suck up to rudeness. This is how we are taught by society, and by even the medical community to sustain mental fitness.
Accepting rudeness and churlishness is condoning it and simply leads down to a very slippery slope and complete decline of social standards and mores IMO.
I am only 44 and I am appalled at how people behave socially compared to when I was growing up. I do not see why I have to "suck it up". Social interaction to me is about a modicum of respect and empathy towards others. Anything else and the social contract just breaksdown.
I have no desire to join the ranks of the uncouth and ill behaved which is what will eventually happen if I allow myself to lower myself to those abysmal levels. Familiarity breeds contempt. You start accepting rudeness as a normal part of daily life and then you yourself see nothing wrong with it. Suddenly you become as courteous as a Baboon.
Accepting rudeness and churlishness is condoning it and simply leads down to a very slippery slope and complete decline of social standards and mores IMO.
I am only 44 and I am appalled at how people behave socially compared to when I was growing up. I do not see why I have to "suck it up". Social interaction to me is about a modicum of respect and empathy towards others. Anything else and the social contract just breaksdown.
I have no desire to join the ranks of the uncouth and ill behaved which is what will eventually happen if I allow myself to lower myself to those abysmal levels. Familiarity breeds contempt. You start accepting rudeness as a normal part of daily life and then you yourself see nothing wrong with it. Suddenly you become as courteous as a Baboon.
No thank you. Pass.
So mental health professionals, and frankly the whole medical community, is wrong? lol....
Part of social skills is to manage others' behaviour (or more accurately our responses to it).
In Subway today, I neglected to hold the door open for some 20 year old woman and she cussed me. I laughed and said "you're not God, nobody has to acceed to you".
Why do younger people assume that all must like/acceed to them?
Another thing, I laughed as I left the place with my order, since some things never cease to amaze me. In this case, mentally unfit persons.
Actually, someone who cannot hold open the door for another person is unfit to be out in public--regardless of whether the other person is male, female, young, old, able-bodied, or disabled. You should really be ashamed of yourself both for your lack of manners and your complete self-centeredness.
Accepting rudeness and churlishness is condoning it and simply leads down to a very slippery slope and complete decline of social standards and mores IMO.
I am only 44 and I am appalled at how people behave socially compared to when I was growing up. I do not see why I have to "suck it up". Social interaction to me is about a modicum of respect and empathy towards others. Anything else and the social contract just breaksdown.
I have no desire to join the ranks of the uncouth and ill behaved which is what will eventually happen if I allow myself to lower myself to those abysmal levels. Familiarity breeds contempt. You start accepting rudeness as a normal part of daily life and then you yourself see nothing wrong with it. Suddenly you become as courteous as a Baboon.
No thank you. Pass.
Exactly. I am the way I am b/c I choose to be that way. I am a polite person. Sometimes, folks don't even realize they are being impolite b/c they are wrapped up in their own thoughts. Being polite to others, even if they are rude, is my style . . . and sometimes, a smile or a kind gesture will remind others to be a little more thoughtful as they go thru/ their day.
If you want to change the world, you start with yourself. I agree w/ you - my "normal" doesn't include living in a world of jerks. I am gonna be who am I and hope my actions inspire others to be more civil, as well.
No, nobody is owed anything in life. This is the human condition.
Interacting w/ others w/ a modicum of civility is simply wise. Good manners simply promote smooth interactions b/n folks.
Anyone who is so angry about his/her life conditions that he/she must demonstrate to the world their anger by flouting social niceties is very angry, indeed.
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