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Old 12-13-2011, 09:54 AM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
29,700 posts, read 34,246,140 times
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OP, do you have close friends, colleagues at work, are you close with your family? Is it just women that you have trouble with, or is it everyone?
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Old 12-13-2011, 10:15 AM
 
1,768 posts, read 1,634,395 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
OP, do you have close friends, colleagues at work, are you close with your family? Is it just women that you have trouble with, or is it everyone?
I get along with everyone at work, but we don't hang out outside work.

I probably don't have any friends. Just stick to myself.
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Old 12-13-2011, 10:38 AM
 
Location: Washington, DC area
607 posts, read 1,214,843 times
Reputation: 692
Have you thought about signing up for a dating service? You could try it's just lunch or some similar service that will find compatible matches for you, set up dates and provide you with feedback on what things went well and what didn't. Since you're not very social, this might be your best bet for meeting people. And it will hopefully help you feel more comfortable with dating so that you can eventually strike out on your own if you don't meet someone. It can be a little pricey, but maybe worth it. Good luck and don't worry!
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Old 12-13-2011, 12:04 PM
 
Location: NY
9,131 posts, read 19,947,658 times
Reputation: 11706
I agree with the advice to get a life coach.

It sounds like you are basically admitting to having no social skills, that others feel you are unapproachable, etc. It is going to be hard for you to break out of the rut you are in, even if you want to, if everyone feels you are closed in and unapproachable.

I know, I have been there myself. (Suffered great social anxiety, could not speak to women, etc, but had very good job, happy and normal elsewhere in my life, etc. Let the anxiety around women run my life through my 20's. Now engaged at 34, couldn't be happier!)

You need to make yourself attractive and approachable to women, and although there are physical aspects to that such as appearance, hygene, etc, it is a lot more.

You have to be approachable to talk to. Don't stand around with arms crossed. A scowl or frown on your face, etc. Your body language must be open and approachable.

Once approached, you then need to be able to communicate in an attractive way. That just doesn't mean using correct grammer or clear pronunciation. You don't want women to think you are self centered, self absorbed, conceited, depressed, mean, closed in, etc. You want them to be interested, to see the good in you through what topics you speak about and how you speak about them.

You are educated, have a stable job, and are generally happy with the other areas in your life. Congrats, you have a lot going for you! With a little work, I am sure you can have dates all the time! You just need to work on your self to be able to attract women, and be attractive to women! (Someone like a life coach will help a lot, and make it far quicker and easier for you).

Best of luck!
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Old 01-03-2012, 09:58 AM
 
Location: New Jersey
8,711 posts, read 11,713,374 times
Reputation: 7604
join the club.

that's all I have to contribute to the thread.
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