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Old 12-17-2011, 10:24 PM
 
Location: Earth
3,798 posts, read 6,367,359 times
Reputation: 2541

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No I would not go unless the host/hostess invited me. I learned my lesson a long time ago. A friend invited me to a mutual friends house for thanksgiving, the hostess was outwardly fine but I found out later she was upset.

From what the OP has described she is surely not invited.
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Old 12-18-2011, 08:56 AM
 
3,111 posts, read 7,436,775 times
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That happened to me once. I was invited to a party by one friend to another friend's house. It turned out the friend whose house I was going to did not invite me. It was a bit awkward, and I left later.
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Old 12-18-2011, 06:47 PM
 
10,797 posts, read 10,570,963 times
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Ditto Ditto Ditto

Unless you've been given a explicit invite (verbal, written or email) by the host/hostess of the get together, you should assume you are not invited.

If later that person should ask why you didn't come over, you can reiterate that you never assume an invite unless you are specifically asked by the host/hostess of the event.
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Old 12-18-2011, 08:33 PM
 
Location: California
32,778 posts, read 36,290,946 times
Reputation: 28977
I go where I want. I've even been to weddings I wasn't invited to . But you have to consider the people involved and the situation. I would never go somewhere if I thought anyone would be uncomfortable about it.
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Old 12-18-2011, 08:42 PM
 
Location: southwest TN
8,476 posts, read 16,183,790 times
Reputation: 16090
If it's a good chance you were invited, rather than not go to something where you are wanted, then why not ask?
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Old 12-18-2011, 10:40 PM
 
Location: Boca Raton, FL
5,818 posts, read 9,462,771 times
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Smile Large family but....

We have always had a family Christmas party always beautifully done by one of my sisters. Usually held the week before Christmas, not on Christmas Eve or Christmas.

This sister had invited everyone around the first part of December. Several accepted. All good.

Then, another sister indicated to the sister (who was the hostess) that everyone was going to our ex-SIL's home for Christmas (did not specify Christmas Eve). She indicated that her total family (7) would be going there, that we were all invited.

Well, sister (host) and other sister get me on the phone and want to know if I know about all this. (I did not). Host sister gets upset and says family is choosing ex-SIL over her, blah blah blah. I tried to insist none of us were specifically invited. (It seems that several of the younger set want to go to the ex-SIL's home; just moved there, etc) - one of my ex-SIL's own children is insisting we are all invited; that her mom is just not good at issuing formal invites. (My niece who I love dearly)

Bottom line: I feel uncomfortable especially after giving my ex-SIL a chance to invite us or at least say "I'll see you in a few weeks; would love to show you my new home!"

Bottom line #2: Original host sister's feelings are hurt and she feels the family has chosen ex-SIL over her gracious invite. (I have asked her to have a smaller group or something on a different night - she says no; you chose her over me. (Not true but that's how she sees it).

Ugh!! And I love them all!!
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Old 12-21-2011, 10:12 AM
 
1,206 posts, read 2,696,738 times
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why would that sister choose the ex-SIL instead of the sister???? makes no sense, you should speak to her and have ur family go to ur sisters and maybe she herself can go to the SIL since she loves her so much lol
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Old 12-21-2011, 10:18 AM
 
16,108 posts, read 21,782,876 times
Reputation: 26531
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ceece View Post
I go where I want. I've even been to weddings I wasn't invited to . But you have to consider the people involved and the situation. I would never go somewhere if I thought anyone would be uncomfortable about it.
You are THAT person. That habit is very rude. People are too nice to tell you to leave, but believe me, it isn't acceptable to do that.
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Old 12-21-2011, 10:22 AM
 
10,797 posts, read 10,570,963 times
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Yeah, that aWkwArD feeling of being somewhere one is not really wanted or welcomed is not something I'd ever want to experience, and certainly not twice.

There's a great saying that I just love. "In life, go where you are celebrated, and not merely tolerated." AMEN!
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Old 12-21-2011, 10:39 AM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
25,144 posts, read 27,106,658 times
Reputation: 57869
Quote:
Originally Posted by JanND View Post
You are THAT person. That habit is very rude. People are too nice to tell you to leave, but believe me, it isn't acceptable to do that.
Yep. A gracious host/hostess is never going to kick you out, but they'll certainly be discussing your audacity for quite a while.
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