U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
 
Old 12-18-2011, 11:08 AM
 
Location: In my view finder.....
8,520 posts, read 15,193,102 times
Reputation: 8079

Advertisements

If you're in the mentioned situation, when did your love for you SO diminish?

How long have you been married?
Rate this post positively Quick reply to this message

 
Old 12-18-2011, 11:26 AM
 
1,193 posts, read 2,785,811 times
Reputation: 945
I suspect my parents are in this situation. Married for 35+ years but probably stopped loving each other 15-20 years ago. They're probably still together because although they don't love each other anymore, they get along just fine (hardly ever argue, etc.) and its a convenient living situation. However, they show zero affection, don't give each other gifts/cards, don't do any activities together, never travel anywhere together, etc. I can't see either of them living alone, since they depend on each other for too many practical things. Dad for earning $$ and maintaining the house, mom for cooking/cleaning, etc.
Rate this post positively Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-18-2011, 11:33 AM
 
Location: Tucson
42,835 posts, read 84,041,608 times
Reputation: 22814
No anonymous poll?! This baby won't be one of your successful BS-generators, Ronnie... RIP, thread!
Rate this post positively Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-18-2011, 11:33 AM
 
Location: USA
25,911 posts, read 18,205,413 times
Reputation: 16250
Quote:
Originally Posted by JohnZ963 View Post
I suspect my parents are in this situation. Married for 35+ years but probably stopped loving each other 15-20 years ago. They're probably still together because although they don't love each other anymore, they get along just fine (hardly ever argue, etc.) and its a convenient living situation. However, they show zero affection, don't give each other gifts/cards, don't do any activities together, never travel anywhere together, etc. I can't see either of them living alone, since they depend on each other for too many practical things.
This is way more typical than most believe. My mother and father fit this description also. I would say they love each other, but it is more like siblings. Idealist, typically deny this so common, but the evidence is overwhelming.
Rate this post positively Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-18-2011, 01:05 PM
 
Location: tampa bay
6,820 posts, read 7,801,987 times
Reputation: 10643
While the romantic love does fade...(at least on my part)I know my children believe my husband loves me very much and would do and does anything in his power to make me happy!We realize the kids will be moving on very soon and we still enjoy eachothers company...now when he retires and is around 24/7 that may change! We have been married 25+ yrs!I think most kids think parents are more like brother/sister because in our culture we are uncomfortable thinking of our parents as sexual...and our PDA went way down when the kids got older as to not gross them out!!
Rate this post positively Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-18-2011, 02:03 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,835 posts, read 84,041,608 times
Reputation: 22814
Quote:
Originally Posted by Irishiis49 View Post
...and our PDA went way down when the kids got older as to not gross them out!!
I find this SO wrong! But it is in line with your other views on child-rearing and I'm not surprised.
Rate this post positively Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-18-2011, 02:04 PM
 
5,823 posts, read 11,074,369 times
Reputation: 4630
Yes , it's exactly the same with my wife, we care a lot about each other, but it'smore a brother / sister relationship, sleep in the same bed and I massage her though (it's sensual not sexual) but we are close to sixty after all, her daughter is 30, my son 26, thier turn to have an intense sexual life!
Rate this post positively Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-18-2011, 02:24 PM
 
Location: tampa bay
6,820 posts, read 7,801,987 times
Reputation: 10643
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
I find this SO wrong! But it is in line with your other views on child-rearing and I'm not surprised.
There is the way I would like the world to be and then there is the way the world is!After well over 25yrs of marriage things change...that's why many marriages end because they miss the romantic love they had.It's a reality of life!I view my husband as someone who always has our children and my best interests at heart.Everything is a trade-off in life...everyone has to decide for themselves what they are willing to sacrafice to achieve their own goals!I admire people like George Clooney that chose a lifestyle that suits them and don't inflict wives and children with unhappiness to achieve it!
Rate this post positively Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-18-2011, 02:31 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,835 posts, read 84,041,608 times
Reputation: 22814
Quote:
Originally Posted by Irishiis49 View Post
There is the way I would like the world to be and then there is the way the world is!After well over 25yrs of marriage things change...that's why many marriages end because they miss the romantic love they had.It's a reality of life!I view my husband as someone who always has our children and my best interests at heart.Everything is a trade-off in life...everyone has to decide for themselves what they are willing to sacrafice to achieve their own goals!I admire people like George Clooney that chose a lifestyle that suits them and don't inflict wives and children with unhappiness to achieve it!
All of the above has nothing to do with not showing affection because the poor kids will be "grossed-out" !
Rate this post positively Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-18-2011, 02:32 PM
 
Location: Way up high
19,384 posts, read 24,983,566 times
Reputation: 24908
My parents are in the same boat. I couldn't imagine spending 45+ years with someone who don't truly love. Oh well. I'll never do the same thing!
Rate this post positively Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


 
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:
Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2022, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top