Just Because You Don't Have a Girlfriend Doesn't mean You Suck (marriage, girl)
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I don't think I'm the most horrible looking dude. But I'm not handsome either.
I don't think I'm too picky. I find that I am attracted to various women that other people say are ugly. My problem is that I don't approach any women. One of the reasons for this is that I am located in an absolutely horrible location for dating. It is a horrible small college town. There aren't many adult women around here, it's all these college kids, but then some of retirees and married women too. Young, single adults ... forget about it. It's one of the nation's worst places for dating if you aren't still in college.
That perfectly describes me, and 60% of the world's men.
Don't think your problem is the third paragraph either.
You are not putting yourself out there. Seriously, if a person like me whose kind is absolutely frowned upon (women say I'm either short and hairy or smell like curry; men say I took their job) can find a woman to hang out with, you definitely can. Stop making excuses for yourself and stop quitting.
It obviously does matter to you or you wouldn't be on here posting about it. Twice you say there are "far more important" things in life. What are those things? If they are important, and make your life fulfilled, then you are correct.
But you sound like so many other people who come on here and claim they're absolutely fine with not being in a relationship. If you truly were, you wouldn't even post about it. Happy people don't spend their time on messageboards talking about how happy they are, they are out there doing the things in life that bring them happiness.
So what do you want to do about your situation? How could things be better for you than they are right now? And the answer I'm looking for is something that comes from within you, that doesn't assign blame to others for where you're at.
Yes, it matters to me. But I don't want it to matter to me. I don't want to be attracted to women. I don't want to desire to be in a relationship. I'd be much happier if I were satisfied with being alone.
Some of these people came on here and bashed me. They said that women are absolutely right to reject me, that the fact they reject me must mean that I'm no good. Sure, I'll get defensive about posts such as that. My whole point of this thread was to state that a person's value is not about whether he/she is able to attract the opposite sex. As human beings, we're much more than what the theory of evolution says we are, and than what the Sit-Coms and movies say we are.
I have a choice, to either work on joining the "dating game" and play all the tricks such as getting better clothes & a makeover & learning to be more comfortable in social situations, or I can choose to work on overcoming my desires for relationships. The third choice is to just sit here and continue to get frustrated with how things are going, and I don't think that's a very good choice. So I have to decide one or the other of the two good choices.
In highschool, I was considered ODD by my friend's grandmother and parents because they were wondering why I didn't have a girlfriend.
That's how you were judged in my neighborhood and since no one ever saw me with a girl from the age of 12 to 19, they figured something was wrong with me. They had no idea that I had crushes on girls but wasn't able to get them.
Fast forward 20 years, now that I'm not married something must be wrong with me. It never ends LOL
My argument against this is that being different, being unique, being quirky ... doesn't mean that there's something wrong with you/me. It just means that we are different/unique/quirky. That's what we are. It's not wrong to be unique.
it's not possible for every single adult to find a mate in life. been plenty of men & women who never did. so obviously there's always going to be a percentage that don't fit. sometimes it's just not in the cards.
it's not possible for every single adult to find a mate in life. been plenty of men & women who never did. so obviously there's always going to be a percentage that don't fit. sometimes it's just not in the cards.
Originally Posted by Davros Oh I'm sure there's someone who's 300 pounds or who's a toothless drug addict who'd be more than happy to go out with me. But I wouldn't get anything out of a relationship like that
Good question.
It is true that I would have to be attractive to a woman. I'm not going to ever date someone who looks like a model. But I think that I am as good looking as many of the men whom ordinary women are married to / dating /etc.
More important though in that question is what would a woman get out of dating me. I would be loyal (not a cheater). I would be able to find a lot of interesting things to do together. There's always something fun to do in this world, but it's often more fun when you're not by yourself. I would also give her space. I would not be one of those people who wants to always be together, but I respect that most people want a lot of breaks from being with a particular person, and hang out with some other people for a change. I wouldn't be jealous. If she wants to date someone else, go ahead. Just tell me we're through, and I'm cool with that. We can get back together again if you decide I was better than what you tried. I'm easy going and laid back. I also have some pretty darn good skills at working with children, so I think I'd be a pretty darn good step dad for women who already have children.
That's kind of a summary of what I think I have to offer.
I don't think I'm the worst guy out there in the dating world, by any measure. I lack many of the traits that commonly make relationships hell, although I certainly have my share of annoying traits as well.
Now that you know that about yourself, maybe you can begin to put yourself in situations, to find somebody that would appreciate that.
Not to get off topic, but actually it does when you look at the "point" of humanity. (this is my opinion).
Breeding not enough to conclude that someone doesn't suck. Just ask the tons of deadbeat parents who are not in the lives of their offspring. But hey they aren't losers because they got to breed.
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