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You are either very young, very immature, or must enjoy the drama; not just being in it but causing it. Why else would you call his wife? The non-dramatic response to a liar and a cheat is to tell him/her to FO and die, and to never ever talk to, write to, or have anything to do with him again. You were played. Sooner or later everyone is. Walk away, suck it up, and get over it. Do not respond to anything from either party - husband or wife - ever again. You made a mistake, compounded it by trying to get revenge, and got schmacked. Don't make it any worse.
If you still really believe that he wants to be with you just because he didn't file the complaint, you have more emotional problems than can be solved in a public forum. If you insist on making a nuisance of yourself, be prepared for the consequences of your actions. Move on - or continue to make a fool of yourself by instigating more drama. Your choice.
Okay, I agree with portion of the latter of your post... However I am questioning why you called her a drama seeker simply because this is not the course of action you would have taken.. The way I read it, the OP.. was seeing this man whom stated he was divorced, right? Come to find out he was not not divorced let alone separated but in fact very married! And she decided that she was going to call his unsuspecting wife and let her know what an sob her husband was...and in a nice way, how is this her trying to stir up drama? Point in fact ma'am, I found out my ex husband was cheating because I reviewed the phone logs since he was in the army and we were separated during the time yet still married and we were "working" on our marriage! She had called the home during the holidays when he did not call her back ( She resided in tx and I here in ca) I asked her nicely and did not judge "Her" and she in fact stated that he stated to her that I left him and god knows wht else.. I was angry because SHE slept with my then at the time hubby but he had told her lies as well...he lied to her!! I felt awful for her too.. Had she had a convo with me? I would not think she was about drama but actually telling me what a douche bag my husband was...Good day..
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Originally Posted by ChessieMom
Agree with the poster that said you must be very young or very immature. The guy probably told his wife that you were a stalker that he hadn't been able to get rid of. Simple fix - she calls downtown. Done. She's over it, and of course, so is he.
Quote:
Originally Posted by justthe6ofus
You stuck your nose in where it didn't belong. You have no loyalty to his wife. Why would you tell her? I'm sure you thought you'd get back at him, make him hurt because he hurt you, show his wife what a loser he is...whatever your resason, but that backfired didn't it?
Quote:
Originally Posted by justthe6ofus
All you did was turn her world upside down, and she is supposed to thank you for that????
To the two posters above...wow!!!! No loyalty has to be established..she found out that this fool was married and maybe doing a solid for another woman and calling out this a-hole for what he really was and maybe stopping this therefore telling her and getting it off of her chest...revenge? Okay...he hd no right to do this to her and then go back to his wife whom did not know anything and is none the wiser..as a previpous wife who was cheated on? I would have thanked her!!!
Directed towards the OP...I agree..you did the right thing...the reason he did not file a report is because he knew he did in fact do wht he did and did not want to legally be culpable for the evidence you had on him..he may in fact tried to talk his wife out of it but did not want to add to the fire... He does not want you..he wants a woman on the side and he realized he would not get that with you..he is a "Loves his full course meal but wants the entree on the side" He does not want you!!!!! Please move forward and do not let him affect you from finding a good man..
Mind you I was not using protection and i have Herpes for several yrs..
Did you write this correctly? You have herpes, why are you not using protection? And you are upset with him for putting YOUR health at risk? What am I missing?
I am 45. and it can happen to anyone and has nothing to do with age or being immature or mature.
she filed a complaint that I called the house with out her approval. that is what the detective told me an that she did not want me calling again. He said in this day an age anyone can file a complaint regardless. I explained what i did and he said that she told him the same thing. I was not rude that I just called to let her know what was going on. He said that the husband would not file a complaint and when he asked him why he would not answer and thought it was very odd since both where there together and the detective said he did not find my actions as abuse but he has to follow up on complaints and must let me know one was filed and let me know not to contact her again.
He also found it odd that I called Aug 24 and she filed a complaint in Dec 20 and changed her number Aug 30 and stated I only called her once. So something is odd andI posted to see if anyone could figure this out.
Its odd, but the detective did his job and followed up on the complaint, gave you an explanation that makes sense.
Unless you're being less than honest about the calls, you've nothing to worry about and only spoke to her once.
Do not contact him or his wife in the future for any reason, he and his wife are trouble.
If he or his wife contact you, file a complaint. Contact the detective you spoke with.
Did you write this correctly? You have herpes, why are you not using protection? And you are upset with him for putting YOUR health at risk? What am I missing?
Did you tell the wife this?
he told me he had it to . I went to get other STD tests and He lied and said he did . I came back negative and his fake report said he was negative of other STDS.
He put MY health at Risk FOR LYING that he had a STD testing done when in fact the report he printed for me was a fake.
Its odd, but the detective did his job and followed up on the complaint, gave you an explanation that makes sense.
Unless you're being less than honest about the calls, you've nothing to worry about and only spoke to her once.
Do not contact him or his wife in the future for any reason, he and his wife are trouble.
If he or his wife contact you, file a complaint. Contact the detective you spoke with.
I never said I was WORRIED. ALL I said was that I found it ODD that after 4 months she filed a complaint and he did not. Why wait 4 months and why was it only her but like many have explained on here he did not file becuase he knows I have a lot of proof against him.
The Detective was Very nice to me an appreciated my honesty and said that my story and hers are exact. I called and I was not rude I just called to let her know her husband was cheating. She told the Detective she changed the phone number about 5 days later since the number was in her husbands name an he did not want to he finally gave in. The dectcive told me that he also asked her why did it take 4 months to make a report and she gave incomplete answers and then made believe that her english was not good an did not understand the question. Mind you she has been in this country for 20 plus years and has a degree from a American University.
If I did something more to here I would not be wondering all this I KNOW WHY
Thank you for the bottom half for the advise. Out of the blue now he is contacting me , he called my job today, he is stalking me on FACEBOOK and twitter and I have to keep blocking every account he opens. I called my local police and I called the Precient he works for. The fact that he is a cop makes it hard they all stick together. Fact his Precient They all know me as his former GF and I am sure they new he was not legally divorced and never told me.
I am trying to just block the entire experience and move on. Fact I am disconnecting my FB and twitter for a few weeks so he will GIVE UP. Going to call my phone company to see if I can block his number.
I was JUST curious about the reason why he did not make a complaint that was it. I am not interested inhim if i was its 4 months that i let him go i would have contacted him. It was odd that after 4 months this came up. I think anyone would be curious if they left a guy and called his wife in Aug and then got a call in Dec from a detective regarding a police report. NOOOOOOOOO???
Because he wants to leave the door open.
But the point everyone is making, you shouldn't care. You should have that door deadbolted, chained, and locked from your side.
Document everything and have no contact with him. Do not meet him and do not talk to him.. IMO there was no need to contact the wife. Once you found out he was married it should have ended there. Now look at all the drama and potential future drama you can be involved in.
Let's be honest...You called the wife to get back at him.. I have ran into married women and once I found out everything stopped.. Getting into situations where emotions are involved can be dangerous. If there's a police report against you even for professional reason you want to keep any drama from you... Since they took it to the police you need to protect yourself because now there is paperwork against you in a data base somewhere..
Document everything and have no contact with him. Do not meet him and do not talk to him.. IMO there was no need to contact the wife. Once you found out he was married it should have ended there. Now look at all the drama and potential future drama you can be involved in.
Let's be honest...You called the wife to get back at him.. I have ran into married women and once I found out everything stopped.. Getting into situations where emotions are involved can be dangerous. If there's a police report against you even for professional reason you want to keep any drama from you... Since they took it to the police you need to protect yourself because now there is paperwork against you in a data base somewhere..
This is spot on . Any involvement in what has the potential to be a very emotionally volatile situation is just not a wise move on the OP's part - or anyone in her shoes. Logical decisions and actions cannot be expected by anyone involved.
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. Any involvement in what has the potential to be a very emotionally volatile situation is just not a wise move on the OP's part - or anyone in her shoes. Logical decisions and actions cannot be expected by anyone involved.
