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A friend of mine turned to me for an advice and I have no clue what to tell her, so I figured I'll turn to you, because when I wrote about my own problem so many of you game good advice and shared your opinions!
Now, my friend. Her bf broke up with her saying he was no longer interested (we suspect he met someone else by then) and so she was pretty cool and breezy about it. Then, when she had bday he wrote to her, which made her realise she misses him a little. And so some days after his text, she wrote him an email saying she misses him from her life and that maybe they should keep in touch as friends. To this he gave a weird reply that he is not ready to be friends with her yet, and he can try to ONLY IF she promises to 'never ever' tell him about her new relationships and all the new men she is seeing.
Now, this response is a bit unexpected given he broke up with her and started seeing someone else (again thats only our assumption but it is pretty firm though)...Is this his pride speaking or what???
Unless she likes and needs drama, she does not need a "friend" like this. "Why" doesn't matter. Ex-BF is a string-puller and manipulator. Keep him an "ex" - everything.
no, why would she want to remain friends with him? Its obvious she still has feelings and thats really the only reason why she wants to remain in touch with him. Honestly if the guy doesnt want to get back with her than its better for her to move on to someone else. Pretending that it will eventually work out or they'll get back together will only hurt her more in the end
I am a guy and I have been through this. He obviously still cares for her, this is why he is asking to not hear about new BF's and such, hes jealous. However, this doesn't totally explain why he broke up with her. My guess is that its because there is some underlying trust issues (meaning he cant trust her). Without the full story its hard to say, but here is my summary of what I know:
1. She still likes him
2. He still cares about her
3. He is on the fence as to whether or not he would get back with her
4. She definitely wants him back.
With all of this being said, I dont think they should remain friends. But I realize that isn't the original question, its just my $.02.
From what I know, I would say that he still has feelings for her, but for whatever reason has decided that he could not be in a relationship with her anyway and therefore, broke up with her and would prefer ties be severed.
That said, he is considering whether a limited friendship could be possible, likely because of those lingering feelings.
However, if he feels strongly he does not want a relationship, and wants to limit a friendship like that, then he is right that he is not ready yet to be just friends and it may be best to leave ties severed.
It doesn't seem like a strange response at all. I don't think he still has feelings for her. If he still has feelings for her he would try to get back together with her. He just doesn't want her trying to make him jealous by telling him about new guys she is involved with.
If your friend is hoping there is hope he will want to get back together with her...she better stop that right now or else will just cause herself loads of heartache. She'd be best to move on completely
Okay, so some of you think it's cos he still has feelings and some of you think (like me) that it is jealousy, male pride etc etc...Interesting! I wish I knew who is right.
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