Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
As I'm focusing on being more positive and realizing that things are working out well for me, there's something that happened today which bothers me.
My mom and I got into a verbal argument. I said some bad words and some really really mean things to her. In response, she took a hot pan (which was just taken off the stove) and put it on my hand. Although the pan was washed once, it was still really hot and caused a small boil on my middle finger. It could have been much worse and I'm so thankful that it's just a small burn that doesn't hurt too much and will heal with time.
However, for obvious reasons, I don't like my mother. I find her manipulative and always always ready to blame me. I know it's wrong for me to think so badly of a person and it only makes ME feel unhappy. So I'm going to forgive her. But I plan to only have a courteous relationship with her from now on. I don't want to be close to her or share anything personal with her anymore beyond what any normal person would inform their mother. The bare minimum. It's kind of an act of self preservation.
No one else in my family thinks this was all that bad. But only I know how much it bothers me that she would ever put a hot pan on anyone's hand. It was so scary and it's even scarier to think how much worse it could have been. When I asked her what she was thinking, she only minimizes it. Like it was nothing. Like it doesn't matter that she placed a hot pan on me which could have really burned me. What if it had slipped and instead had fallen on my abdomen. Even though it's a small boil, I'm still feeling some pain. Although I said some cruel things, it's not like I physically hurt her.
Today, I just feel really sad because I wish I had a different mother. You can't choose who you're born to. I just needed to get this off my mind. I feel so sad. She didn't even apologize and I know she's going to want to minimize it and want things to go back to normal. Hate it.
There are two sides to every story and you both need to work on anger management. There is no reason for you to be swearing and yelling at her, and absolutely no reason for her to physically hurt you.
Sounds like you both might benefit with some family counseling.
As I'm focusing on being more positive and realizing that things are working out well for me, there's something that happened today which bothers me.
My mom and I got into a verbal argument. I said some bad words and some really really mean things to her. In response, she took a hot pan (which was just taken off the stove) and put it on my hand. Although the pan was washed once, it was still really hot and caused a small boil on my middle finger. It could have been much worse and I'm so thankful that it's just a small burn that doesn't hurt too much and will heal with time.
However, for obvious reasons, I don't like my mother. I find her manipulative and always always ready to blame me. I know it's wrong for me to think so badly of a person and it only makes ME feel unhappy. So I'm going to forgive her. But I plan to only have a courteous relationship with her from now on. I don't want to be close to her or share anything personal with her anymore beyond what any normal person would inform their mother. The bare minimum. It's kind of an act of self preservation.
No one else in my family thinks this was all that bad. But only I know how much it bothers me that she would ever put a hot pan on anyone's hand. It was so scary and it's even scarier to think how much worse it could have been. When I asked her what she was thinking, she only minimizes it. Like it was nothing. Like it doesn't matter that she placed a hot pan on me which could have really burned me. What if it had slipped and instead had fallen on my abdomen. Even though it's a small boil, I'm still feeling some pain. Although I said some cruel things, it's not like I physically hurt her.
Today, I just feel really sad because I wish I had a different mother. You can't choose who you're born to. I just needed to get this off my mind. I feel so sad. She didn't even apologize and I know she's going to want to minimize it and want things to go back to normal. Hate it.
Not acceptable....You may need to move out to put some distance there if you're ever going to have normal relationship and from my own experience I can tell you sometimes that doesn't even help.
As I'm focusing on being more positive and realizing that things are working out well for me, there's something that happened today which bothers me.
My mom and I got into a verbal argument. I said some bad words and some really really mean things to her. In response, she took a hot pan (which was just taken off the stove) and put it on my hand. Although the pan was washed once, it was still really hot and caused a small boil on my middle finger. It could have been much worse and I'm so thankful that it's just a small burn that doesn't hurt too much and will heal with time.
However, for obvious reasons, I don't like my mother. I find her manipulative and always always ready to blame me. I know it's wrong for me to think so badly of a person and it only makes ME feel unhappy. So I'm going to forgive her. But I plan to only have a courteous relationship with her from now on. I don't want to be close to her or share anything personal with her anymore beyond what any normal person would inform their mother. The bare minimum. It's kind of an act of self preservation.
No one else in my family thinks this was all that bad. But only I know how much it bothers me that she would ever put a hot pan on anyone's hand. It was so scary and it's even scarier to think how much worse it could have been. When I asked her what she was thinking, she only minimizes it. Like it was nothing. Like it doesn't matter that she placed a hot pan on me which could have really burned me. What if it had slipped and instead had fallen on my abdomen. Even though it's a small boil, I'm still feeling some pain. Although I said some cruel things, it's not like I physically hurt her.
Today, I just feel really sad because I wish I had a different mother. You can't choose who you're born to. I just needed to get this off my mind. I feel so sad. She didn't even apologize and I know she's going to want to minimize it and want things to go back to normal. Hate it.
Wow, so now your relationship has gone from verbally abusive to physically abusive
I can understand your sadness.
Seek some counseling to deal with the craziness of loving someone you don't like and to learn to set some new boundaries so neither of you will escalate this abuse. Best of luck.
Words are one thing, but turning it physical is a whole other issue...and then to minimalize it and lack the ability to understand why it's not a good idea, is wrong.
Maturing is about learning how to control your emotions..
You two sound like my mother and my sister. Oh boy do they clash.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with having a polite and courteous relationship with your parents. Sometimes that's the most it can develop.
That said, you mom is insane for burning you. Physical abuse is just crazy. And you should be nicer and more respectful to your Mother in general.
You don't have to be around each other all the time. It sounds like you need a bit more distance.
Do you live with her? If you do, I hope you realize that there can never be two queens in one castle. (or two kings either but that's a different topic). When it gets to that point, and it often does with mothers/daughters, you have to move out and find a castle to be the queen some place else.
Threaten to call the police on her. That might calm her down. If you are of a certain age and living at home with this kind of relationship, then you MUST move out at the expense of not having your mother's blessing. If your mother has some sort of mental or emotional issue, you are going to have to understand you are dealing with an issue, not just your mother. Good luck to you; We all love our moms no matter what.
I asked her why she did it and apparently it was to "shock me" and "make me stop saying mean things"
nice job, mom. nice job.
Your contribution of yelling and saying "really mean things" which started the whole thing wasn't nice either. I'm not condoning what your mother did but this is a two-way street ...
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
