A new day has dawned. I am free! (kids, calling, therapist)
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Thank god for FH, he brought a mess of it. He said that he knew you were busy and wanted to give you a hand. He couldn't stay, though , because he said he wanted to have all the laundry done and put away before you got home.
Thank god for FH, he brought a mess of it. He said that he knew you were busy and wanted to give you a hand. He couldn't stay, though , because he said he wanted to have all the laundry done and put away before you got home.
Robyn it seems like you should really consider therapy for the children. The kids are stuck in the middle when Jim behaves badly. I worry about A, as Jim is not being a positive male role model. Who can admire a whiny, rude and abusive dad?
That would be a good thing for them, I know, but their therapist does not come in on my half day, and he is not going to take them, and right now, even if I COULD take them, I dont have the money..... To take them both that would be 100 a session, thats together, not ea.
Right now, he is not sure if it is the right thing to provide for them, so I am trying to pay for everything the best I can...
There is nothing right now saying that medical costs will be split, and his rule is that I am responsible, and you cannot get in the door without paying. A lot of this and that,,I know. They need to go, I need to go...
The rain came today, it came in sheets. Rain can make some people sad, meloncholy. I love the rain, it has a renewing feeling.
When I stepped out of my car from coming home from work this evening the sky was dark, and the rain had let up. There were many pussles of water, deep, but they didn't look like it, because they were so clear, you could see the rocks in the bottom, and if you weren't careful, you would be standing in more than a half a foot of water.
I felt like just sitting on the front porch, in the rain, it is thundering out there now, off in the distance. Tonight, after two nights of restless sleep, I think I will get a good nights rest....
I hope the rain, and thunder and lightening keep up.
Hi, ya'll!! I had to leave the house early today, and CD wasn't up and runnin'.
I didn't get home until nearly 5 p.m. It's been busy since I got home. I went shoppin' and explorin' all by myself!!
Robyn, you are in a pickle financially with having the kids see someone for counseling right now. Some places will see clients on a sliding scale. Maybe one of the battered women's groups could suggest a place or some way to get services for the kids.
I kinda suspect that L, with her black/white/literal thinking, may not be impacted as much as A will be with his dad's antics. If you start getting any calls from school (and hopefully you won't), that would be a good place to start asking for help.
The courts may just mandate counseling at some point, then IB will probably have to pay for at least half.
Quote:
Originally Posted by cinderobyn
That would be a good thing for them, I know, but their therapist does not come in on my half day, and he is not going to take them, and right now, even if I COULD take them, I dont have the money..... To take them both that would be 100 a session, thats together, not ea.
Right now, he is not sure if it is the right thing to provide for them, so I am trying to pay for everything the best I can...
There is nothing right now saying that medical costs will be split, and his rule is that I am responsible, and you cannot get in the door without paying. A lot of this and that,,I know. They need to go, I need to go...
Robyn, have you checked with local agencies to see if anyone offers counseling on a sliding scale based on your income? I do thing you're going to be dealing with a very angry A eventually because he is having to deal with his father's angst- and probably doesn't want to burden you with it so he's holding it all in. I think it's a loyalty thing- and I've been through it with my son.
His father has tried to program him- he comes back from a visit and things are strange- but he won't tell me what's on his mind. At some point he explodes in anger and everything that his father said and did comes pouring out. I do what I can to make him feel OK about telling me- and I encourage him to tell his father that his antics tie him up in knots.
This has gone on for over 12 years, so my A (yes, same name) is now comfortable to come home and tell me immediately what happened- there's no more acting out and he knows he can trust me to advise him and guide him without being outwardly angry with his father (although inside I'm like a volcano).
But it will take a long time for your A to become comfortable- right now he's conflicted- should he take his dad's side, or his mom's side? And you're not making sides, but DAIB is and therefore he feels like he has to choose. And if he tells on dad he's "dissing" him. So the only option he has is to hold all of that inside.
If he does open up, don't over react- don't get angry with him or his father. Just express to A that it's really not fair that he feels like he has to choose mom or dad. That you are both his parents and that he's entitled to love you both and should never feel like he has to pick a side.
Make the conversation all about A and what's right for him. Don't directly acknowledge dad- just listen, interject that you love him and that he's a smart young man- build him up and let him know that you value him as a person. That you accept his opinions and feelings..... give him everything his other parent is incapable of feeling.
And yes, let him know how hard this time has been on you- without placing blame, but he is old enough to understand that you are going through a major life change and that you're struggling but that in the end everything is going to be wonderful. That those things worth having are not always easy to get to.
Don't unload on him, but let him know that his father isn't the only person struggling right now.
I totally agree Pirategirl, A does need a neutral person that he can trust just to unload. It's not fair to burden him with adult BS, which seems to be IB's favorite outlet.
Good news Rob, our favorite therapist is in the office on some Tuesdays. M has an appt next month on the 20th....oops, can't work that half day.
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I'm here, I'm here....Well, I'm here now.
