Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I'm back, rested and looking forward to sharing my visit with Robyn with you guys.
I started driving in a torrential rain storm ~ almost cancelled, but the car was packed, and this would be the last free weekend to go visit. After the first hour, the rain stopped, and there was very little traffic for the 7hrs it took to get to her home...only got lost in the last 15min, looking for her street. I parked in her driveway, walked around the front of her beautiful home and Robyn was just getting comfortable on her porch swing to wait for me. I said "I'm heerre!" and Robyn jumped up and greeted me with such a big hug, I was touched with the warmth of her welcome. We laughed as we looked each other over ~ Robyn is indeed as she "sounds" on this thread ~ a beautiful young girl with a fresh short bob haircut, and a lovely southern accent to go along with her casual look and mellow manerisms. We quickly unpacked the car before it rained again, then back to the porch for a while, taking in the surroundings, as I shared stories of my drive.
R's cellphone rang and within minutes, Carol and her daughter came driving by (with a camera)to see us. Carol is one spirited mama!! She's a fun gal who appears open to a good time ~ she better be at Robynpalozza! Her beautiful daughter took some pics of us ~ hope they come out well enough to share here. Thanks for taking the time to visit Karogirl! Loved meeting you and M!!
R & I went inside to lock up and go to dinner ~ and we were immediately challenged by two feline monsters, who each evil-eyed me (I swear), as I put my things down. I tried to be gracious, knowing it was their home, but eventually I had to let them know they could not have free reign with me...I actually reminded them several times to NOT SIT on my duffle bag, but to no avail, they bullied me into submission! They had their way with me and sat wherever they wanted, whenever they wanted. (I swear)
After we escaped, Robyn & I went to a great steak/seafood place about a mile away...low lights, comfortable booths, no waiting line...all worked for me after a long day's drive. We laughed and talked about everything and anything ~ it was as though we knew each other for a long time. Back at the house, the monsters were waiting & when we returned, they proceeded to stalk around us as we went through the "stuff" I'd brought...what fun to be moving and to know someone who can use everything you need to let go of...thanks Robyn, for making me feel good about this weekend! Strange thing to say, but I mean it.
About 9pm Robyn called the kids, and it was sweet eavesdropping on her loving conversations with the kids...and yes, she DID stand up to A when he was distracted on the phone, immediately telling him to move to an area where he could concentrate on talking with her ~ BRAVO ROBYN!
About 10-10:30pm, we were tired, Robyn went right to her computer and I put on my PJ's to watch TV - Robyn made fun of me in my nightgown with socks on my feet - said it was a sexy look (with a questioning look on her face)! The nerve of her! haha
WELL, LET ME TELL YOU, she described her PJ's to a "T"...relaxed and comfy... I promise you all, we'll never get her a date if she's wearing them! haha
Anyway, after a good night's sleep, we awakened on this chilly morning, I got ready to leave, Robyn made me a cup of her chocolate coffee, giving me a choice of "Tink" cup.
We went out to the porch swing with our steaming twin cups of coffee and proceeded to sit and contemplate life in the peace and quiet of rural America, with cotton fields around us, and the blue sky above.
After an hour or so, I got up to leave and began my trip home. Only took 7hrs going home in spite of clear skies and a mess of traffic. I'm bushed, but contented that it was a lovely moment in time! Will be back on again soon friends!
And HIF, we WERE sitting on the porch swinging and drinking our coffee as you posted this morning at about 8:30am.
Wow--I have only come lately into this "CD World", but am just blown away by the kindness and caring displayed here. It goes a long way toward re-establishing in my mind the humanity people can show toward each other...THANK YOU!
Js mother was packing the kids clothes up that they didn't so called need....last spring. She was doing this to be 'helpful' for our move. I kept saying I dont want that packed I dont want that packed.
The spring was mild at that time, and then it got cold again.
All of the kids long sleeve clothes and Ls winter coats are packed in her storage thing.
When we moved here, I told tjibda that I need all things of the kids that are in there and the only thing he brought me were some toys and books of As.
It is 40 degrees outside and L has 2 perfectly fine winter coats in that dag on storage facility, and all of her long sleeved stuff. Of course it is supposed to get to 63 today...but geez! I told her in the first place I didn't want the things packed, and then told him to get it all out.
Left him a message on his vm this am that the kids need their clothes out of the storage facility. Gonna be hard to do, now with all of his stuff on top of it all now. 2 brand new winter coats, bought a bit bigger so they would fit this year, one not as thick as the other.
UUUGH GGGGGRRRRR!!!!!!!
Makes me so darned mad.
Last edited by Pikantari; 10-29-2007 at 05:13 AM..
Just reading about it, I'm totally annoyed on your behalf. Disfunctional to the nth degree is the phrase that comes to mind....
And.....well, if it's tough for tjib to get to the coats in the storage, it's his problem, not yours...
Extra prayers from here that this will be quickly resolved, and even while dealing with it with THE MORON, try to not give the event too much space in your brain
(Yes, Uh Huh, and what am I doin' up at 3:30 AM ? you tell me, but when I couldn't get back to sleep, just had to come check out things here....)
Was so happy to read about your wonderful time with MsV.... Good Strength for the coming week...
Last edited by Macrina; 10-29-2007 at 04:41 AM..
Reason: wanted to embellish my very apt phrase of 'the moron' ....
Just reading about it, I'm totally annoyed on your behalf. Disfunctional to the nth degree is the phrase that comes to mind....
And.....well, if it's tough for tjib to get to the coats in the storage, it's his problem, not yours...
Extra prayers from here that this will be quickly resolved, and even while dealing with it with THE MORON, try to not give the event too much space in your brain
(Yes, Uh Huh, and what am I doin' up at 3:30 AM ? you tell me, but when I couldn't get back to sleep, just had to come check out things here....)
Was so happy to read about your wonderful time with MsV.... Good Strength for the coming week...
Hey sleepy head! (((((((((MACRINA)))))))))) I will probably have to buy her a new coat, but unfortunately, it will not go visiting with him. He will either have to dig her coats out, or do as I have to do, and buy her a new coat.
Both of them have all kinds of winter clothes in that storage unit and I told him.... ugh! I know A has outgrown his stuff, but I bought him a new coat late in the season, once again, too big for him, that still fits him...
So, we have that, and I wish now that i had bought her one that was on clearance or something. But dag on...she has 2!
What does a mother hate to hear from her beautiful daughter?
Morning Robyn - Sounds like you and MsV had a great time and some needed time to "recharge" - especially in light of everything else that went on.
Personally, and especially since there is no court ordered anything, I would tell TJ that the kids will NOT be spending another weekend with him until you have some kind of court decision.....the speaker phone bit, the sleeping arrangements, not telling you the arrangements, the whole "pack" of them all together with the kids on the weekend is just too, too bizarre. Tell TJ if he wants to see the kids, that's fine - he can take them to dinner Friday night, but then they have to be back with you for the weekend.
If you can talk to your lawyer about this - great...if not, do it on your own - it shows you are considering the children first. Like others here, I don't think it's acceptable for L to share the bed with TJ.
Regarding the coats - talk to the lawyer, the shelter, someone who may be able to help you get the clothing for the kids out of storage, if TJ is not agreeable to it. There has to be some way for you to get those things and you should not have to buy new ones again.
TJ does not have good parenting skills or instincts and he is definitely digging a hole for himself when it comes to any kind of visitation rights. In my mind, especially in this day and age if he continues to live with his relatives, I can't see any judge in his right mind allowing overnight visits to continue as they are.
I just thought of something - do you have a local hospital? If you do, call the social worker at the hospital - explain the situation, that you are separated physically, your court dates that are coming up, what happened over the weekend (the phone conversation on speaker phone and especially the sleeping arrangements), the coat issue and see what they advise. They should be able to steer you in the right direction and, at least where I'm from, they DO NOT CHARGE you. If your county has a PINS division, contact them - any type of social worker should be able to give you some ideas and maybe even step in to intervene until you do get to court.
I'm so glad you are documenting. You and the kids will come out of this fine - don't worry about "hurting" TJ right now - do whatever it takes to keep them from that house and to get their clothing. If TJ is stupid enough to not get their clothing and give it to them, it's just another way he's hanging himself. By you contacting a social worker, it will be documented by them as well and will carry some clout.
TJ has to step up to the plate now regarding his kids and let his family know certain things will not be tolerated - it all goes along with being a grown up and a father......
Again, I'm sooo glad you and MsV had such a wonderful visit and I'm sure it helped you to "recharge" yourself emotionally. We're all behind you, Robyn, you're doing so very, very well in a very difficult situation....I wish I lived closer!
Good morning all ~ back at work after a lovely weekend!
Robyn, once again you have gotten lots of great advice, even Sun's cautionary words to note the effort at being creative in finding beds for all those people.....but.....
I think you need to be extra careful here. This is in no way a normal family.
By your comment, ...in this situation, where his mother allowed such things, and they are all in that household once again together. The person who did it is not there. of course. But I do have to say...they are all off their rockers. I assume that someone was sexually abused, or an abuser, and MIL allowed it...you need to bring this out in court. This family's judgment is poor and tainted with dysfunction. Your children can be sexually abused from birth on - lots of people do it before the kids can find the appropriate words to articulate what happened to them...and with Lindsey's being a special needs child, I would not take that chance. I'm don't often blow things out of control, but your husband is unstable, horney, a poor socially-skilled human being, and I wouldn't put it past him to "sneak a touch" with your little girl. Or, you could tell ib how you feel and then call VA Children's Services to report it when they go there next.
My suggestion is that you call your attorney right away, explain the sexual abuse history of the family and then the sleeping arrangements. If MIL allowed it, that is who modeled decision-making behavior for ib.
2) You need to call ib, leave him a message that the children may not visit with him again until you get ALL their clothes out of storage (don't mention MIL cause then you make it about her, and it isn't). Then meet him, fill up your car with the bags and take them home. Don't rebuy yet, but do DOCUMENT this and all the other defaming times he has made poor decisions, and used the children as pawns in a game (the speaker phone) and distracting A while talking to you, or just limiting your phone time with them.
I would not allow them to go over there again, until they have the proper clothing for the weather...can't just complain about them, you need to draw the line and keep it simple, they wouldn't understand otherwise. Mean what you say, and they will (hopefully) take you seriously. You have the strength to do this...and if you get his VM, even better, leave a detailed message about ALL their clothing, from bathing suits to coats and you won't have this issue again.
Have a good day everyone! Robynpalozza is on!! We thought either the last week of June 08 (before real summer starts), the last week of August 08 (before it ends), or mid summer '08...if we picked a holiday weekend in the Fall, there could be too much traffic and for those who are even further than I, it would be a hellish ride. Any thoughts?
Synopsis & HIF, the voodoo witch was PERFECT! Wouldn't want you guys mad at me!!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
They never ever listen to me...ever!
I hear what you're sayin'...
