L+this morning=rough! We made it through, though!!
I asked her about the stay strong, once again, when things get tough, hold it in.
I so do not understand this way of thinking of his. I told her just now if she is having a problem that she can talk to me about it at any any time.
She just was asking me if she could wear this cute sweater over her shirt, I said sure, she put it on, such a cute kid, beautiful girl.
I started singing to her...du wa di di di di dum di di do...
she looks good, she looks fine, she looks good she looks fine... she was dancing all over the dining room....smiling, back to happy L. YAY!
Hoping for a good day today.
For a parent to tell their child to hold in their emotions is ruining to that child. Maybe it is what he was told as a child, and maybe he thinks it worked. He is wrong.
Maybe that is why he is how he is. Maybe that is why I was conditioned to hold it all in. I did not do that before him. I didn't talk to my parents, but to my adult sister.
He is conditioning them to not talk about things, when they really need to, it was not like that before, when we were a family unit, all of us together. It was, if you have a problem, come to us with it, do not be afraid. We will not be abgry, no matter what.
How can you parent your child if they are afraid to speak to you? This is going to work against him as well. He, himself is telling them to hold it all in, or maybe he is telling them to hold it in, until they see him. I have no idea.
Either way, it is not a good thing. We have A, with low self esteem, who for all these years, has had a difficult time keeping friends at school, easily upsetable at school, trying to obtain perfection, and when he cannot, the upset comes before him. He cries. I dont know that he has done it this year, no teacher has told me of it, which is strange, with all that has gone on, but maybe he doesn't feel the need to be perfect anymore, I have no idea.
We have L. A lovely child, also one who wants to achieve perfection, they both do, and they both upset when they do not. L still does this. Not as badly. Especially when she thinks something really is right, and she thinks the teacher is wrong...it could happen, right?
She expresses herself well, but she was able to perfectly explain to me the stay strong method, Pirate Girl. She got a little bit upset over it. I dont think she likes the method.
I think with this method she has been told to use, it has been holding her back. I have noticed, like yesterday, we were putting groceries away, and she accidentally stepped on Mollies tail. A said something to her about it, she ran upstairs, I tried to comfort her over it. She was not able to be comforted.
She kept on and on. Finally she said I cant do this, I cant handle this.
Cant do what? Cant handle what? She is a child. I gave her some calm down time, and she came down and asked if I wanted a hug, sure I do, baby girl.
I think they both are trying to hold back their feelings and emotions, and then when the bottles start running over what else can they do but explode. My brother is like that.
I was like that. No bottle, a bucket. Its gone. Its not healthy.
I know that now. I have learned it. Ya know sometimes we keep it in, for the sake of not bothering with it, but it has got to come out, better to let it out, with thought, easily, as it happens, or a little after, after thought is put into it, than to keep it bottled.
That bottled emotion, no matter what emotion it is, is a dangerous thing, like shaking a bottle of soda...once your bottle gets full, and something breaks it, that is it, there is nothing you can do....
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