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What does he do for a living? Assuming it is a demanding job, I can understand that he can't afford the lost time and concentration with chats with his honey.
One more thing about this post... several women have advised "follow your gut" ... I'm sorry but this is hooey. Your gut is connected to your heart which is connected to your vagina (bear with me). So lust and affection will win out.
Lord knows the country is full of women with kids who trusted their guts and the man left and/or became a complete A-hole. Women's intuition (same thing) is a myth.
I feel these new tethers have created a quantity over quality society in which everyone is fufilling a "job" just staying in touch, but it's impersonal. Once a week conversation doesn't seem like much to ask.
If you go in with eyes open, it is what it is and it might work for that. In some relationships, people aren't going to change too much; roles are establlished, rules are followed and it's set and it will not evolve. You balance your opportunity for some type of fufillment vs finding someone that might line up more with your need for real affection. Asking an unaffectionate person to be otherwise, is really asking them to be fake isn't it? And it will eventually get tiring to them. But really, if you want to stir it up, why not just have the conversation about "us"?
I feel these new tethers have created a quantity over quality society in which everyone is fufilling a "job" just staying in touch, but it's impersonal. Once a week conversation doesn't seem like much to ask.
If you go in with eyes open, it is what it is and it might work for that. In some relationships, people aren't going to change too much; roles are establlished, rules are followed and it's set and it will not evolve. You balance your opportunity for some type of fufillment vs finding someone that might line up more with your need for real affection. Asking an unaffectionate person to be otherwise, is really asking them to be fake isn't it? And it will eventually get tiring to them. But really, if you want to stir it up, why not just have the conversation about "us"?
When I try to have a conversation about us he says he gives me quality time and texting is enough. I guess the bottom line is he is not that into me or else he would do what it takes within reason to keep me. I told him it hurts my feelings to be dating someone that won't call me.
No offense OP, I'm still stuck on the anal penetrating thing. To answer your question, its 50/50 at this point. There's just things that make me pause...
If I were you, I'd drop him. To me is important to hear my man's voice. I like texting but that's not enough to get your thoughts/feelings across. Affection is HUGE for me and a deal breaker. I couldn't be with someone who won't cuddle and/or hold hands. The bottom line is that your needs are not being met, and that should tell you righ there that this is not worth pursuing, IMHO. The longer you stay, the harder it would be to leave him. Do you want a family of your own? He already has 3 kids, so you need to think about that before you get yourself deeper in the hole. Good luck with whatever you decide.
If I were you, I'd drop him. To me is important to hear my man's voice. I like texting but that's not enough to get your thoughts/feelings across. Affection is HUGE for me and a deal breaker. I couldn't be with someone who won't cuddle and/or hold hands. The bottom line is that your needs are not being met, and that should tell you righ there that this is not worth pursuing, IMHO. The longer you stay, the harder it would be to leave him. Do you want a family of your own? He already has 3 kids, so you need to think about that before you get yourself deeper in the hole. Good luck with whatever you decide.
Thanks for yor input. I do want a family but I am more than happy to have step children. I have a great relationship with my step parents. He knows I would like that experience that one day. We may just be at different stages. He was divorced 1 1/2 yrs ago and I never been married. I have hope of long lasting love and no fears and I feel he is cautious. His says he wants the relationship but maybe he doesn't with me.
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