Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Unless one person descends into madness or addiction or is a sociopath, any relationship that breaks up does so because of both people involved. Ideally, both people learn a little more about themselves, what they want, what they don't want, and what they can forgive and what they can't, and then they move on to apply what they've learned to their next relationship.
Also, the term "fault" does not always apply.
Doesn't sound like much of a relationship. Or, rather, the relationship itself was a failure, not a good relationship that "failed." Weird semantics, maybe, but perhaps you can look at it this way: Breaking up was not indicative of failure. It was indicative of personal growth--success--on your part.
Completely agree. It takes two to make it and two to break it in the vast majority of cases.
Normally, whenever someone talks about their failed relationship we will hear that it was the other person’s fault “He was such a monster…She was such a drama queen” and so on. Has a relationship ever failed because of you and what did you learn and/or change?
Looking back I can honestly say No. In a few cases both of us were at fault in some way, but I never did anything in a relationship that was so awful it caused the guy to break up with me. The relationships that I ended, I ended for very good reasons and have no regrets about it.
I think it's a good idea to look back into a "failed" relationship to see what part I played. Of course, I didn't find this out until I had gone through a large number of them!
Sure, there can be cases where BOTH are at fault but I believe there are those cases where one is at fault, for example, when someone is cheating in the relationship, controlling to the point of checking someone’s mobile and what not, etc.
Some people have shared here in the forum about their divorces and all of them are about the other person’s fault (he was lazy and didn’t bring any income to the table, he didn’t do house chores, she didn’t want to have sex anymore, she was a control freak, etc.). That is why I wondered if anybody can look back and say “You know, I messed up in my previous relationship. I regret it. Will make sure I don’t make those mistakes again and hurt my partner” or something.
Sure, there can be cases where BOTH are at fault but I believe there are those cases where one is at fault, for example, when someone is cheating in the relationship, controlling to the point of checking someone’s mobile and what not, etc.
Some people have shared here in the forum about their divorces and all of them are about the other person’s fault (he was lazy and didn’t bring any income to the table, he didn’t do house chores, she didn’t want to have sex anymore, she was a control freak, etc.). That is why I wondered if anybody can look back and say “You know, I messed up in my previous relationship. I regret it. Will make sure I don’t make those mistakes again and hurt my partner” or something.
But honestly - as most people have said here - 9 times out of 10 - a failed relationship is the fault of both people. Even amongst my friends - rarely has a failed relationship come completely out of the blue. I know that my failed relationships weren't completely anyone's fault. In fact - in some cases, it was nobody's fault, really - it just wasn't meant to be.
I have a feeling that the people that come on here and solely blame the other person for a failed relationship aren't telling the whole story. Just my 2 cents.
But honestly - as most people have said here - 9 times out of 10 - a failed relationship is the fault of both people. Even amongst my friends - rarely has a failed relationship come completely out of the blue. I know that my failed relationships weren't completely anyone's fault. In fact - in some cases, it was nobody's fault, really - it just wasn't meant to be.
I have a feeling that the people that come on here and solely blame the other person for a failed relationship aren't telling the whole story. Just my 2 cents.
Sometimes playing the victim is just so much less work
But honestly - as most people have said here - 9 times out of 10 - a failed relationship is the fault of both people. Even amongst my friends - rarely has a failed relationship come completely out of the blue. I know that my failed relationships weren't completely anyone's fault. In fact - in some cases, it was nobody's fault, really - it just wasn't meant to be.
I have a feeling that the people that come on here and solely blame the other person for a failed relationship aren't telling the whole story. Just my 2 cents.
That could be. I’ve read in this forum about divorces where the person that starts the thread talks about how the guy was terrible because he didn’t bring any income to the table, didn’t do house chores, was dirty, and so on. Or the ex wife was controlling, a drama queen, and so on. Sometimes you wonder what would the whole story be.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains
Sometimes playing the victim is just so much less work
there are times ive messed up the relationship i'm in right now due to selfishness, stubborness, but I try to learn from my mistakes and improve i'm a work in progress I like to say.
Many relationships in my late teens to early twenties went bad because of me. I was my worst enemy. I was very insecure back then and didn't really know how to act right and behave right in a relationship...I worried too much about their past. I let stupid little things bother me, and I argued over very dumb stuff...Boy do we learn when we get older..
I have changed so much since then that I don't even know who that person was many years ago. Sometimes I wonder if I had met such and such at a different time if things would have worked..But I don't even do that much anymore, because the past is the past. I suppose if we were meant to be, it would have happened. Also I am in a relationship now and have been for quite some time. The relationship I have now would have never worked out if I was like I was fifteen or twenty years ago. Most people get older and wiser-thus part of life. It would suck if we stayed with the same mentality all our life. Thank god for wisdom...
there are times ive messed up the relationship i'm in right now due to selfishness, stubborness, but I try to learn from my mistakes and improve i'm a work in progress I like to say.
That's the right attitude Darrensmooth. Go for it.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
