Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Quality men are not going to give a chance to a woman who had not one but three kids before 30 with a man she never married. From the get-go it just looks bad. I'm not saying that it's RIGHT that it looks bad, but if I were a man I'd wonder why you just kept popping kids out without getting married. One, maybe the birth control failed and you didn't feel abortion was a good option. Three and you look irresponsible at best, like you were trying to keep a man who wouldn't marry you bound to you at worst. They're also going to wonder if you would *OOPS* get pregnant again.
That's just the way it is. That's why it's called "baby mama drama."
this, and what hamellr said. i tried to date a woman with kids once but quickly learned that just planning a date involved a monumental amount of attention to every little detail re. the kids. needless to say, i bailed.
Quality men are not going to give a chance to a woman who had not one but three kids before 30 with a man she never married. From the get-go it just looks bad. I'm not saying that it's RIGHT that it looks bad, but if I were a man I'd wonder why you just kept popping kids out without getting married. One, maybe the birth control failed and you didn't feel abortion was a good option. Three and you look irresponsible at best, like you were trying to keep a man who wouldn't marry you bound to you at worst. They're also going to wonder if you would *OOPS* get pregnant again.
That's just the way it is. That's why it's called "baby mama drama."
Quote:
Originally Posted by ElysianEagle
this, and what hamellr said. i tried to date a woman with kids once but quickly learned that just planning a date involved a monumental amount of attention to every little detail re. the kids. needless to say, i bailed.
Good afternoon,
According to other threads she has created, she actually WAS married to the father of the three kids. Look at her profile, it says "married" and read her posting history.
That being said, I do agree that the kids are a roadblock, regardless. I'm sure men may appreciate that she was married instead of being just a "baby mama" to three different daddies, but I'm sure the hassle factor still makes them prefer to seriously pursue a woman with less or zero kids.
Ultimately, it's not who you are that matters but your perspective on it and how positive you feel about yourself and consequently portray yourself to others.
Feel free to PM me your profile text if you'd like me to take a look at it!
Three kids are not necessarily a problem. If you love them and appreciate them and they bring joy to your life, that is a great thing. That sense of happiness and fulfillment will make you a very desirable person to spend time with. And eventually you'll meet someone who enjoys spending time with you... and then more time.. and eventually maybe he will want to marry you.
But to get there, you have to first be complete and happy regardless of the current "reality". Then things will shape up to how YOU want them to be.
It's not fair, but you have kids, that puts you on the bottom of the stack automatically. The reason you have no problem attracting a guy is, guys are horny, if they know you have kids, they know you "put out". Sad, but true. You will need to be more selective and possibly look for a guy a little older, maybe even someone not typically your type. There is a group of men who would be interested, but there is the group, who is only interested in the booty call.
This is to the OP, you are a lovely lady and nicely built. I know my brother would be gaga over you. He is 6'2" owns his own home on huge land property paid off at 40 and I'm endlessly trying to fix him up. He also has one amazing son. His wife left him yet they share custody of the boy. He would LOVE to have a woman with children to enjoy, but he lives in the midwest. Also, I've had so many male friends who preferred women with children and who wanted children. Most are in CA, because many of us women (me included) do not want the traditional mom role. If men were smart, they should go for moms because they are more nurturing than us selfish types.
also, age 30 wasn't that far back for me and I hear you about the sex drive. You really shouldn't try to be a puritan in that regard. People need intimacy, but of course make sure to use protection. I think it's perfectly normal to want to rebuild while you're still young. recommend an amazing movie: Renee' Zellweger and Tom Cruise (what was the name of that movie where she was a single parent????) Anyway, it was ... memorable
I've also had male friends who would have loved for me to have children so that I would have loved them more.
I want to say that even as a woman, your photo and your posts make me care about you. Good luck to you.
anyway, power to the mothers of the world. Be good, be cool!
Intercourse does not equal emotional connection. There are plenty of ways to become close and establish an emotional connection without sex. We have many people present in our lives that we have close emotional connections with and don't need to involve sex. Does sex bring people closer together? Yes it can. But only in the right situations.
Ahhh....you know so very little about men. Some dude is talking to his buddy in the bar right now about this chick he met with 3 kids who is good for a bang and that is about it...cuz he doesn't want to raise someone else's kids.
And his buddy says "is she hot?" He replies, "face is ok, but smoking hot body, nice rack and nice axx". "Cool, then why don't you hit that and then move on?" "Yeah, I plan to".
And thus the emotional connection for him has been established. And he will establish another emotional connection with Jane tomorrow night.
Ahhh....you know so very little about men. Some dude is talking to his buddy in the bar right now about this chick he met with 3 kids who is good for a bang and that is about it...cuz he doesn't want to raise someone else's kids.
And his buddy says "is she hot?" He replies, "face is ok, but smoking hot body, nice rack and nice axx". "Cool, then why don't you hit that and then move on?" "Yeah, I plan to".
And thus the emotional connection for him has been established. And he will establish another emotional connection with Jane tomorrow night.
umm this example is not exclusive to chicks with children FYI. Same guy will also see a single chick with no children and say he is looking to bang her and also keep it moving....I think the OP has taken enough beating in this thread. Having 3 children is not a crime. It just makes dating a little difficult but that does NOT mean that there arent decent guys out there looking to meet a nice gal with or without children....as catharsis pointed out.
men like to waste they money and time with sluts...point blank
Quote:
Originally Posted by felicitev21
Im so tired and frustrated of being single. Im fairly young (29) have a college degree, good job, own place. Im a sweet, genuine, loyal person, have a variety of interests, excellent cook, love sports and beer and my sex drive is through the roof. Im almost always the one wanting sex in my relationships. I think my only "con" would be that I have three children from my previous relationship. But there are plenty of single fathers out there too. All my children have the same father and we have nothing between us, good or bad. I have no trouble getting initial dates, but I cannot seem to meet anyone that is genuinely interested in me and wants to pursue a relationship. Once they discover that Im not the girl that is gonna put out after two dates that's where it ends. Im not dating justany guy who asks me out, I take my time, get to know them and i will conversate with a guy for awhile before even going out on a date. So if a man is appearing to have the qualities I want and seems like he is genuinely interested in me, wtf is wrong here? I can only think that something must be wrong with me?
Dear poster...I am single never been married and have no kids and at 31 having problem finding the right guy too...so you are not alone...
Problem is guys are not taking time to GET TO KNOW the girl...
like hey what color do you like? what makes you happy what irritant you blah blah the basics to know someone....
And if they are not asking the basics to get to know a person imagine the the serious questions like love, religion if you likes kids or want some or not, what you want out of a sex life, blah blah ...i mean its to a point you don't even reach this part...
guys are getting pickier every day and only think with their penis...
and then when they are old and lonely that when they think i want to get married i want someone to love take care of me, me take care of her...someone to grow old with...to wipe my ass when i can't...and it like how long does he thinks miss right will wait...
they rather give chances to the wrong women...who will just waste there money and time...
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
men like to waste they money and time with sluts...point blank
