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I agree to a point. But my wife didn't say anything to him when he did it. He clearly didn't think anything of it. I know sometimes people are just different. I have pretty strong boundaries because I'm a teacher and I don't want to push my beliefs on everyone. So I wanted to get a feel for what the norm is.
Maybe your wife was too shocked to say anything at that moment. Silence doesn't always imply consent.
I may have reacted that way, too, because I would like to think that my male friends would know me well enough to know that I'd think behavior like that was inappropriate. There's a number of other ways that he could have given her the money. This isn't about you being insecure; it's about the guy overstepping his bounds.
I don't see the big deal. He probably thought she wouldn't take it otherwise.
I thought that, too, but then realized he could have easily placed it in your (hubby's) front shirt pocket or something.
Since it sounds like there is some history with boundary issues there, maybe it is some kind of test to see how receptive your wife may be to possible future advances. What better way than to invade her personal space with an action that could appear rather innocent? It is also possible that he just wants to flirt to get a simple ego boost. But if you are truly not the "jealous" type, I would go with your gut feelings on this one.
With that said, it is probably a better idea to have your wife confront his behavior and set the boundaries. Otherwise, he may think her inaction was in itself a sign that she is okay with what he did (maybe even interested in more, if that is what is going on in his mind). You confronted him about it, so all that tells him is that he has to behave when he thinks YOU are watching. He will just tell himself, "well, she didn't say anything so it was okay (or she is interested, etc.)"
At best, he is just clueless about boundaries and he will shape up immediately, but your wife has to make it clear that his actions put her outside her comfort zone or he may continue to do so.
Maybe your wife was too shocked to say anything at that moment. Silence doesn't always imply consent.
I may have reacted that way, too, because I would like to think that my male friends would know me well enough to know that I'd think behavior like that was inappropriate
Call the man and ask him if he wants to go out on another date with you and your wife but not his wife. I'm pretty sure you'll never hear from him again.
Honestly, from reading all of your posts of late, it never sounds like your wife is bothered by these things (not sure why) and you're left feeling frustrated or violated on her behalf. I don't get the impression you're both on the same page, I don't get the feeling she supports your position on things or backs you up. Does she?
Honestly, from reading all of your posts of late, it never sounds like your wife is bothered by these things (not sure why) and you're left feeling frustrated or violated on her behalf. I don't get the impression you're both on the same page, I don't get the feeling she supports your position on things or backs you up. Does she?
Well obviously not as much as I would like. But I can't expect my wife to have the exact same feelings that I do on everything. Even on this thread there were several people that thought it was no big deal at all that he put the money in the pocket. And I'm really not concerned with anything going on between them. I honestly think my wife was surprised that he did it, but not offended. And my wife is not confrontational. So it was not surprising that she would just blow it off. That is definitely her style.
My wife is a touchy person to begin with. When we were just friends if we would be talking and she was making a point she might reach over and touch my arm. I'm totally not that way at all. So I recognize that I can't project all my instincts and behaviors onto her and expect her to behave the exact same way. Would my life be easier if she did? Of course it would. But if I try to mold her into being on the same page as me, I'm sure some resentment will set in as well.
I can shove a 20 dollar bill into the front jean pocket of woman in less than 5 seconds without even touching her.
Make the 20$ bill into a vertical roll. Send it in. I don't even have to hold her, squeeze her, run 9 fingers around her vagina area and then shove it in, with a suggestive look on my face licking my lips. Or did the OP witness all this stuff done and more in the process of placing money in. Am I missing something here???
And we have this whole conversation where a man has lost sleep for the last 24 hours. Yikes
The truth is you are battling your own demons she will get into a touchy correspondence with the other guy. You have more sleepless nights ahead. Start thinking about Africa or the blue whale in Japan. It could help dissipate some of the feeling
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