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Interesting site. Sex sells any product, I guess.
"Click To Start Learing [sic] the Real Online Date Game Now". "start learing"--is that a Freudian slip? I don't think I'd pay good money for profile writing services with a company that couldn't proofread their own ad copy....
Hi folks, first time poster but I've viewed the forum from time to time as an unregistered user Can't sleep for some reason, so I thought I'd browse the net for a bit. Surely I will pay for it at the office tomorrow :P Anyways, I have some experience I want to share (vent??) and this seems like the right place to do it. I've recently moved to Austin, TX from Boston, MA. I've done the match.com thing while I was in Boston for a bit over a year, with not too great results. I was getting about 5-7% response rate, but after researching the topic a bit online in the last few days, I didn't know how good I had it! Fast forward to now. I've moved to a new city, and I'm eager to meet new people. However, in the few short months I've been here, all the women I've met outside of the work are either taken or married. It doesn't help that I work in an all male environment either. So I thought I'd give match.com another try. And so far, results have beena absolutely abysmal. It's been about a week, and I've sent out about 50 emails, and have received ZERO responses. Before we go any further, let me give you some background about myself:
- I'm a young professional male in my late 20s, working at a Fortune 500 company and have a great career.
- I'm well educated. I have a graduate degree from a prominent grad school.
- I'm 5'11, 170 lbs.
- I don't smoke, and have no kids.
- I'm in good shape and workout 3-4 times a week.
- I have a full head of hair.
- I make a decent income, and drive a nice car. Before you call me crass, note that I did not disclose my income on my profile, nor did I put up any pictures with my car in it This is because I (naively??) thought that materialistc things should not come into consideration when it comes to dating, at least initially. And I'd like to think the women on match.com aren't that shallow anyways. But a close female friend suggested that I include it as it shows financial stability. I'm not so sure (I haven't changed my profile), but that's the topic of another discussion. I did include what I do for work, so the enterprising lady can get a general ideal from glassdoor.com.
- I've been told I have a good sense of humor.
- I'm not terrible to look at. Female friends have called me "cute". And I've put up pictures on hotornot.com and scores mostly averaged in the 8's, occasionally dipping into low 9's.
- I had my profile vetted by two female friends, both of whom have used or is using match.com. Both approved and said it was really funny. Both are very attractive as well, if that makes any difference.
- I only email girls whom I meet all of their basic requirements (i.e. age, height, ethnicity, religion etc)
- When I write a girl an email, I write about something she has talked about in her profile. Each email is usually not super long, but customized for the her.
So I think I'm a great catch. Seems like I've ticked all of the usual boxes. But now the down side:
I'm Asian. I will date women of any ethnicity, as long as I find her appealing. But because of my ethnicity, I'm already excluded from 30-40% of the women on match before I even began. Many women list their ideal date as "Caucasian" only. This includes women of all ethnicity - White, Hispanic, Asian etc. And if I learned one thing, it's that women on match will not deviate from their ideal. Based on some anecdotal evidence, I suspect this even works against me for the remaining women, who mostly lists their ideal date's ethnicity as "No Preference".
True, I only email women that I find attractive physically and personality wise. But I will not lower my standards just because the women on match.com won't give me the time of the day. But this kind of trend certainly doesn't do well for one's ego. I did a bit of googling on the topic and apparently men in general are having a really tough time on match.com.
But I digress. My question is, what changed? Why the discrepancy in response rate from Boston to Austin? Could it be that Boston is a more liberal city such that my ethnicity is not as much of a factor? Anyways, I'd love to hear people's thoughts. And also feel free to share your match.com experience as well (primarily interested in hearing guys who have tried match, since I already know my aforementioned lady friends have trouble keeping up with the amount of interest they get on there) I saw mir86's thread, but I thought I'd make my own thread as to not hijack hers
If ur 2 hot friends as u call them deem u cute then maybe they're being nice. Alzo to be honezt with you thsrs is a stereotypes regarding Asians only dating other Asians to point bordering discrimination which has been my experience & perception. Funny thing Ive noticed about online dating people are very unrealistic in their preferences, cause in real life theyd ultimately settle for someone totally diff than their profile demands
Most women on Match.com are looking for Caucasian white males. Even asians also.
Only way you can be successful is to email "ones without pic". They get less emails and you might get lucky
Have you tried other websites? maybe match was hot on the East coast and POF would be better in Texas? Couldn't hurt to try another site. And do you date older women? Up to 5 years older, if you haven't considered that, might be a good idea.
It's been about a week, and I've sent out about 50 emails, and have received ZERO responses. Before we go any further, let me give you some background about myself:
- I'm a young professional male in my late 20s, working at a Fortune 500 company and have a great career.
- I'm well educated. I have a graduate degree from a prominent grad school.
You know what I hate about posts like this? It's that if men have as hard a time dating as what you speak of here then I must be a real dog because I got so few responses from the emails I sent out. The only way I can console myself is the fact that you're trying to date the most difficult demographic on the face of the earth--20 something women, and I'm trying to date the second most difficult one--men in their 50's, who generally want to date 30 somethings. I think that both of us would do better in social situations and should not take OL dating too seriously. One thing you might want to do is make your profile as individual as you can and then be ok with not hearing from a lot of women but the ones you do date will probably be more suited to you.
Match.com, IIR, isn't one of the less expensive ones, so the investment level might be flakier. It's also one of the most stomped-on sites.
On-line dating does NOT favor men. Period. And this is supposedly even the case when men are in the Tom Leykis zone - i.e. where their "stock value has gone up."
I have done this about 3x. Once was e-harmony for a 3 month period and it was horrible. You can't pick who they match you to, based on appearance. Then, I've done more focused "niche" sites, based on demographics. On each of those occasions, I didn't send out many messages. There was a woman of my ethnicity, who was bilingual and similarly educated, in the Northeast. She was on the chat feature at 1 am in THAT time zone, which was weird when it was 10 pm where I was. We chatted in our ancestral language, but it never got to a phone call. She neurotically went off the site altogether within a week or so. In another case, there was a schoolteacher in the Houston TX school system who had gone through the Catholic school system, was 3 years younger, and never married. I also messaged her. I received no response.
I have gone out on slightly extended dating arrangements with women I met through these venues. They were more interested in me than I was in them. There was nothing wrong with them at all. Both of them had masters degrees and were very bright. However, the litmus test is that I would have not wanted to be with them, even if we were in college together in our 20s. I ended both of those situations.
On-line dating is unfortunately the "here and now." However, I think there's a lot of games, not to mention smoke and mirrors. I never tried it again.
I think you need to try other venues. I heard Austin is a "happening place," but then I'm NOT "way cool." At the very least, can you expand your search area to include both San Antonio and Houston? You never know. People may not make a cross-country move to accommodate an on-line relationship, but they might do so between "city pairs."
Last edited by robertpolyglot; 01-30-2013 at 08:56 PM..
and I'm trying to date the second most difficult one--men in their 50's, who generally want to date 30 somethings.
I'm in my 30's and on Match. The men in their 50's are taking a pass, along with the men in their 20's, 30's and 40's.
Thanks to this site, I've learned I'm old and apparently the most unattractive woman whoever lived since even the ugliest of the uglies get tons of messages on online sites. I honestly don't know how I live with myself.
Online dating was good about 10 years ago. Now it's complete rubbish. Most women on there just want validation. They get spammed with thousands of love letters each day and read through a few for a self esteem boost and delete the rest.
The last chick I met from online dating I discovered was on there to make business contacts. She was all about discussing work and then said, "if it doesn't work out between us, do you think I can still come spend time at your office?" LMAO. Leave the online dating for the chumps.
For the OP: if you're an intelligent "young professional," why are you using a word that does not exist?
The word is "anyways...."
No such word.
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Can't sleep for some reason, so I thought I'd browse the net for a bit. Surely I will pay for it at the office tomorrow :P Anyways, I have some experience I want to share (vent??) and this seems like the right place to do it. I've recently moved to Austin, TX from Boston, MA. I've done the match.com thing while I was in Boston for a bit over a year, with not too great results. I was getting about 5-7% response rate, but after researching the topic a bit online in the last few days, I didn't know how good I had it! Fast forward to now. I've moved to a new city, and I'm eager to meet new people. However, in the few short months I've been here, all the women I've met outside of the work are either taken or married. It doesn't help that I work in an all male environment either. So I thought I'd give match.com another try. And so far, results have beena absolutely abysmal. It's been about a week, and I've sent out about 50 emails, and have received ZERO responses. Before we go any further, let me give you some background about myself:
