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1. Most women online are terrible quality, which is why they have to resort to online. If you were a normal good looking girl, with a good network of friends, why is she online? Chances are, you won't find quality women there.
Well, I am going to disagree because I use online dating sites and I don't think I am "terrible quality." (lol, I am biased). For me, I just don't meet very many single men in my age group. Most are married, most of my neighbors are married couples, and I work with people much older than me or much younger than me. My network of friends is also married people who know other married people too. I also meet men offline and do offline meet and greets (in fact, I'd say I have better success offline), but online is nice because you get to meet someone and you know he is actually looking.
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Originally Posted by phoenix_down
That sounds pretty reasonable. However, I think there are a couple of groups of people who do not fall into this description. One, girls who are tired of being hit on by DBs in bars, and want to try something different. My last ex falls into this category. Now of course, a lot of times they realize that online is filled with a lot of DBs too after awhile and give up. But it's possible to catch one during that initial optimistic phase, as I did. Second, girls who work in a predominantly female environment. I find that I end up going out with disproportionally large percentage of teachers. I think the fact that they value education and that in lower grades their work environment is largely women may have something to do with it.
I just want to add another group to this people (like) me. Who telecommute a lot and our office environment and co-workers are ... my dog. lol. Actually, I am in the office a lot too. But most of my co-workers also telecommute. And like I said, for some reason everyone seems to be either 60 or 20 in my office. I also live in a suburban neighborhood... not exactly the swinging single scene but I like it because it's quiet and low crime with great schools and an easy commute. And hey, my home value is going through the roof because I live in a nice, high demand area.
Look, I'm going to be honest...this thread is three years old and you still haven't found a date on Match. I'm not saying OK Cupid or Plenty of Fish are better but I know I can log in right now and probably have a date by this weekend or next weekend. I'm 32 I only date white and Hispanic women so I would say we share the same demographic target.
The only thing I can think of is there is something wrong with your online profile and first message. I have a feeling you lead with your career which is what a lot of men do who are not successful with women in general both online and in real life. From my experience women can care less if you are CEO of a company or work for a Fortune 500 company; none of that stuff translates into what it's going to be like to first go on a date with you and next be in a relationship with you. Considering most women have their own career and have their own steady income it is pretty meaningless in the dating arena. Given, so long as you have a job and don't live with your parents income or status is pretty irrelevant. Keep in mind, I've never been to Austin but I hear it is a pretty liberal part of Texas and I live in a pretty moderate part of Southern California. I think both places have their middle-class, upper-middle class and wealthy areas.
What are your hobbies? What do you do for fun? From my experience the fun you bring to relationship is the most important thing women are looking for. When I read your responses I don't get fun loving, adventurous kind of guy. Instead, I get straightforward let's do business kind of guy. To be honest do you want me to post my OK Cupid profile? I really don't care. Also, I have some fun first messages that I post. "Tell me the first three animals that come to mind and I'll tell you about your personality," or, "Visualize a cube on the horizon, how big would that cube be, what would be in the cube tell me this and I will tell you all about your personality." I mean the point is to make it a fun game to tease out their personality.
My first thought when I see a picture of a man with a lot of other women is wondering if he's a player.
Maybe some think like you just posted--sounds perfectly reasonable. But I never like it when people put pictures of them with anyone else on a dating site... other women, their family, best buddies, etc.
So you prefer guys who take 5 selfies in front of a mirror over a guy with a bunch of friends by the beach beside a volleyball court having fun?
Opie do not take advice from women. Put up pics of you and your friends by the beach having fun and your response rate will increase 10 fold.
So you prefer guys who take 5 selfies in front of a mirror over a guy with a bunch of friends by the beach beside a volleyball court having fun?
Opie do not take advice from women. Put up pics of you and your friends by the beach having fun and your response rate will increase 10 fold.
Opie... if you only want to take advice from a man... certainly don't take advice from this man. Take advice from THIS man (the one who wrote this article):
Don't feel the need to include photos of yourself all over other women either. All it really says is that you felt the need to include it, and that you're either a player or a horn-dog.
If you want to know what a woman looks at, I will tell you what I look at. Granted, other women are different, but I can't speak for them. I prefer a nice profile picture of a man... maybe a picture or two of him doing what he like (playing golf, scuba diving, etc). If it's a picture of him playing volleyball... then I want to see him (not try to figure out which one he is in a group). I certainly don't want to see a picture of a man with a bunch of women around him saying "my friends" because you always wonder if that's true or not.
I am not saying the OP should put up half a dozen bathroom selfies... I have six pictures on my profile. Not one is a selfie (all taken by other people) and not one has me in a group of men in swimtrunks (or any group of men). I am saying nice pictures of him, alone (but in obvious social settings) are ideal. Use a nice picture, looking at the camera, casually but neatly dressed for the profile picture. Pictures of him with groups of women is not ideal. At least, it's not for me and at least other woman poster here. Like I said, you wonder if he's a player or posing with his Ex and her friends. I am sure not all women think this way, but some do. And in large groups it becomes "where's Waldo."
If you want something more risque, try a pic of you dressed appropriately at a nice dinner with with some attractive ladies. This shows that you can be formal and polite when necessary.
Hmm, that's not a bad idea.
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Originally Posted by Stagemomma
HOWEVER, I will also say that 50 messages is nothing. Esp in a big city like Austin. So maybe it has nothing to do with your asian-ness. Maybe you just need to keep fishing. Don't wink, that's lame.
Well, this thread IS 3 years old The messages have now been numbered in the hundreds. But I have had a bunch of dates and one relationship during that time, so it's not a complete loss.
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Join Meetup and get out there. It will give you something to do while you wait for someone to respond to your message. Best of luck! You sound like a great catch. I'd totally go out with you...if I were remotely in your age bracket.
Thank ya Meetup is a good idea. I intend to give that a try soon.
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Originally Posted by goodlife36
I think the problem is that you want an attractive white women. Attractive white women are desired by all men. The competition is stiff. That is life. If you are so amazing, I am sure that you can meet women the old fashion way.
I feel like I sound like a broken record One more time, I don't want to date only attractive white women! I want to date attractive women, period!
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Originally Posted by jillabean
I just want to add another group to this people (like) me. Who telecommute a lot and our office environment and co-workers are ... my dog. lol. Actually, I am in the office a lot too. But most of my co-workers also telecommute. And like I said, for some reason everyone seems to be either 60 or 20 in my office. I also live in a suburban neighborhood... not exactly the swinging single scene but I like it because it's quiet and low crime with great schools and an easy commute. And hey, my home value is going through the roof because I live in a nice, high demand area.
My list was not meant to be all inclusive. I'm sure there are some great ladies that date online. Some of my friends have had good results, so I believe it
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Originally Posted by Artifice32
Look, I'm going to be honest...this thread is three years old and you still haven't found a date on Match. I'm not saying OK Cupid or Plenty of Fish are better but I know I can log in right now and probably have a date by this weekend or next weekend. I'm 32 I only date white and Hispanic women so I would say we share the same demographic target.
I realize that this thread is a long, and folks new to the thread may want to skip right to posting a response, but pleas read through all of it! I've had a number of dates during this time and had a relationship that on and off lasted over a year. After that was done, I started building a house and then immediately went into house modding mode for a few months. Now that's mostly finished, I'm turning my attention to dating again.
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The only thing I can think of is there is something wrong with your online profile and first message. I have a feeling you lead with your career which is what a lot of men do who are not successful with women in general both online and in real life. From my experience women can care less if you are CEO of a company or work for a Fortune 500 company; none of that stuff translates into what it's going to be like to first go on a date with you and next be in a relationship with you. Considering most women have their own career and have their own steady income it is pretty meaningless in the dating arena. Given, so long as you have a job and don't live with your parents income or status is pretty irrelevant. Keep in mind, I've never been to Austin but I hear it is a pretty liberal part of Texas and I live in a pretty moderate part of Southern California. I think both places have their middle-class, upper-middle class and wealthy areas.
Actually, other than the little blurb about what general line of work I'm in, I don't talk about my work unless the conversation turns that way. I also don't mention what company I work for (unless asked). I generally try to lead the first message with something funny or witty, yet relevant to what they wrote in their profile.
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What are your hobbies? What do you do for fun? From my experience the fun you bring to relationship is the most important thing women are looking for. When I read your responses I don't get fun loving, adventurous kind of guy. Instead, I get straightforward let's do business kind of guy. To be honest do you want me to post my OK Cupid profile? I really don't care. Also, I have some fun first messages that I post. "Tell me the first three animals that come to mind and I'll tell you about your personality," or, "Visualize a cube on the horizon, how big would that cube be, what would be in the cube tell me this and I will tell you all about your personality." I mean the point is to make it a fun game to tease out their personality.
Whelp I would like to help...
Hobbies wise... I'm into fitness, cars, tech, food (I'm a bit of a foodie), music (local shows and big fests), movies etc. My profile is definitely more silly than serious. I did run it through a few of my close female friends and they approved it with a few minor edits. They thought it was pretty funny and gives a good glimpse of who I am. But if you are offering your OKC profile for the world to see, then I won't say no
Opie... if you only want to take advice from a man... certainly don't take advice from this man. Take advice from THIS man (the one who wrote this article):
If you want to know what a woman looks at, I will tell you what I look at. Granted, other women are different, but I can't speak for them. I prefer a nice profile picture of a man... maybe a picture or two of him doing what he like (playing golf, scuba diving, etc). If it's a picture of him playing volleyball... then I want to see him (not try to figure out which one he is in a group). I certainly don't want to see a picture of a man with a bunch of women around him saying "my friends" because you always wonder if that's true or not.
I am not saying the OP should put up half a dozen bathroom selfies... I have six pictures on my profile. Not one is a selfie (all taken by other people) and not one has me in a group of men in swimtrunks (or any group of men). I am saying nice pictures of him, alone (but in obvious social settings) are ideal. Use a nice picture, looking at the camera, casually but neatly dressed for the profile picture. Pictures of him with groups of women is not ideal. At least, it's not for me and at least other woman poster here. Like I said, you wonder if he's a player or posing with his Ex and her friends. I am sure not all women think this way, but some do. And in large groups it becomes "where's Waldo."
I was a member to this site 30 minutes ago but ur post is def a hot topic, despite the fact that it is 3 years old already lol. WHat got me super duper curious right now because you said (years ago) that there were girls who asked ur friends if you were single because they saw ur facebook page. I was like wow, being a girl myself, I know that this doesnt happen too often unless the guy is like prince charming or something.
So I dont understand how the online dating thing got u frustrated 3 years ago. But I guess it was about how u had pictures with ur car and u talked abt income and stuffs. Do u still have a profile by any chance? Okcupid perhaps.
Hobbies wise... I'm into fitness, cars, tech, food (I'm a bit of a foodie), music (local shows and big fests), movies etc. My profile is definitely more silly than serious. I did run it through a few of my close female friends and they approved it with a few minor edits. They thought it was pretty funny and gives a good glimpse of who I am. But if you are offering your OKC profile for the world to see, then I won't say no
Oh, well I'm glad you've been successful with online dating. The hobby in Bold is cool, it's something to which I can relate. I also bolded the part about your profile that I liked. Instead of posting my online profile here, I'll post it in a new thread for critique!
From my experience the fun you bring to relationship is the most important thing women are looking for. When I read your responses I don't get fun loving, adventurous kind of guy. Instead, I get straightforward let's do business kind of guy. To be honest do you want me to post my OK Cupid profile? I really don't care. Also, I have some fun first messages that I post. "Tell me the first three animals that come to mind and I'll tell you about your personality," or, "Visualize a cube on the horizon, how big would that cube be, what would be in the cube tell me this and I will tell you all about your personality." I mean the point is to make it a fun game to tease out their personality.
Grudgingly, I have to agree. Were I to have been a woman, I would have been insulted by a "fun loving" response, with trios of animals on a cube in the horizon ruminating on my personality. I do indeed view dating as strictly business, because in the end, marriage is a business transaction. But that's not how things transpire in modern America. Fun, fun, fun. Personality. Puppets and bowties and dandelions, roller-coasters and ice-cream sundaes, perpetually being 15.
Artifice - do please post a link to your profile. And I applaud you for the prescient choice of screen-name.
I was a member to this site 30 minutes ago but ur post is def a hot topic, despite the fact that it is 3 years old already lol. WHat got me super duper curious right now because you said (years ago) that there were girls who asked ur friends if you were single because they saw ur facebook page. I was like wow, being a girl myself, I know that this doesnt happen too often unless the guy is like prince charming or something.
Well, they asked my best friend (who is a girl) because they saw my post on her page. Of course my best friend totally told them what a great guy I am. I actually did meet all 3 girls at my best friend's birthday party. One showed up with a new guy she started seeing, so that was no go. One was super annoying. The last one I think was into me, but I wasn't really into her. So none of those panned out. Just as well, as they live in Dallas, and I don't really do the distance thing.
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So I dont understand how the online dating thing got u frustrated 3 years ago. But I guess it was about how u had pictures with ur car and u talked abt income and stuffs. Do u still have a profile by any chance? Okcupid perhaps.
No I never posted pictures with my car or talked about how much money I make on any of my profiles. I have a match and an okcupid profile, but I don't really feel comfortable posting it on a public forum. I'm sure you understand
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Originally Posted by Artifice32
Oh, well I'm glad you've been successful with online dating. The hobby in Bold is cool, it's something to which I can relate. I also bolded the part about your profile that I liked. Instead of posting my online profile here, I'll post it in a new thread for critique!
Well, I wouldn't say I'm successful per se. I do get dates. I just feel like I'm spending a disproportionate amount of time and effort for the number of dates I do get. After awhile, it starts to feel like a 2nd job. Since the vast majority of my dates end up with either I'm not interested or they are not interested, I sometimes feel like I'm not getting anywhere. My friends say I'm a little picky, but I can't help how I feel, you know? If you meet up with someone and don't feel anything, then you don't feel anything. Nobody should settle for someone that is just "acceptable". I realize this is starting to sound like I'm whining, as I know (even from just reading this forum) that some guys have trouble getting dates at all. But as awesome my life is right now, and I am loving it, sometimes I would like to share the adventures with someone.
Ok enough with the melo-drama Austin is a great city to be in if you love music. Per capita, it has more music venues than any city in the US. Two of the biggest music festivals happen here - SXSW and ACL. In fact, SXSW is going on right now. I'm taking Friday off to do SXSW, and on Saturday. Should be a blast! It's a great place to discover up and coming bands. A couple of years ago, I randomly walked into a show by an unknown band called Imagine Dragons. The rest is, as they say, history
Do post the link to your thread. I'm curious now about your okc profile. Am I to assume that you are Asian as well?
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I also live in a suburban neighborhood... not exactly the swinging single scene but I like it because it's quiet and low crime with great schools and an easy commute. And hey, my home value is going through the roof because I live in a nice, high demand area. 
Meetup is a good idea. I intend to give that a try soon.
