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My brother is married, middle-class, suburban guy with 3 children. He has also been cheating on his wife with other women for 8 years now. One of the women (who has a fiance) got pregnant and had the baby this summer. Only my brother and I know about this. This woman is madly in love with my brother and her fiance thinks the baby is his. He has no idea about my brother. It is my opinion that she intentionally got pregnant to trap my brother.
She uses the pregnancy and the baby to hold power over my brother. She calls him several times a day and demands that he see her. She won't let him near the baby but threatens to tell his wife everything if he doesn't do what she wants. My brother is petrified of his family finding out so he is doing anything she asks. Her demands are becoming more and more extreme. My brother often has to miss work and spend time away from his family to deal with her on a daily basis. This woman's fiance is pretty dangerous so I worry about my brother getting hurt. This woman also occasionally uses drugs which makes her even more erratic. Both she and her fiance are extremely ghetto so this can blow up into a scary situation.
I don't know how to counsel him on this when he asks my advice. I don't condone his behavior but he is my brother and I love him. I feel the most sorry for the baby who has been born into this crazy situation. Does anyone have any advice on what I should counsel my brother to do without anyone getting hurt? I am so worried for him.
The losers in this - your brother's kids and his poor wife. Eight years!!! I can see many ways this can go, none of them will be good. I wish you good luck.
If you are a troll......da bada bing boyz (aka mods) will be over shortly to close your account.
Last edited by FrmlyBklyn; 01-13-2012 at 10:58 AM..
When he first started cheating on his wife, he would go out of town to have sex with women he knew. Then he started sleeping with women closer to home, like in the neighborhood. Then he began bringing them over to the house to have sex when his wife was out of town. He even hired one of them to babysit while wife was gone. The "babysitter" lived at the house for a week. Luckily, the kids stayed with their grandparents most of the time. He did this a few times before he invited the "babysitter's" boyfriend over to have dinner with the whole family. It wasn't anything sexual; it was almost like he was getting a rise out of the boyfriend being completely unaware that my brother was banging his girlfriend. It was almost like he was secretly laughing at the guy. But I was worried - if the guy found out he would have been punched my brother in the face. Then, my brother began inviting his conquests to stay the weekend while his wife was home. She thought they were just colleagues and friends. I knew he was having sex in their bed while she was out at work or out with the kids.
Recently, he is picking up really messed up chicks on Craigslist - drug problems, mafia daughters, gangsta girls. He went on 2 week business trip to California and picked up 2 girls off the street in Oakland. One of them is a drug addict who freaked out in the hotel hallway to the point that security was called and he was almost thrown out of the hotel. The other shoplifted in a store while my brother was with her and they were both arrested. The police let my brother go eventually but charged her with shoplifting. He then told me that he performed sex acts with the girls for 2 men (at different times) for money. He made $600 but he gave it to the girls since he doesn’t need the money. On previous trips, he would fly in women who he had sex with before, now he is picking up drug addicts off the street and putting on sex shows. I am worried that something bad is going to happen if he keeps doing stuff like this. He also began emailing pics of himself with these chicks (he's wearing clothes; the girls are naked) to some people he knows. The whole scene is just getting more and more sketchy and I am worried that he is getting in over his head.
I would tell his wife, but I think she would just shoot the messenger. I also think she would be one of those "stand by your man" types which means she would blame me for trying to ruin her marriage. He would never speak to me again and I love my brother a lot. I don't want to lose him. I would also ruin my nieces view of their daddy and I think children deserve to have innocence when it comes to their parents. The stakes are too high for me to spill the beans. I just want to help him and I don't know how. All of this is also having a drastic affect on me. I don't look at men the way I used to. I used to believe in love. I used to believe in men; I don't anymore. I've come to feel that most men lie and cheat on the women who love them. And it's not just my brother's behavior that has convinced me of this - it's most guy's behavior.
OMG, this is really really bad.... disgusting. If he cares or respects his wife, he'd tell her and let the chips fall where they may. Goodness, the woman could be walking around with various STDs and not know it. What a shame.
My brother is married, middle-class, suburban guy with 3 children. He has also been cheating on his wife with other women for 8 years now. One of the women (who has a fiance) got pregnant and had the baby this summer. Only my brother and I know about this. This woman is madly in love with my brother and her fiance thinks the baby is his. He has no idea about my brother. It is my opinion that she intentionally got pregnant to trap my brother.
She uses the pregnancy and the baby to hold power over my brother. She calls him several times a day and demands that he see her. She won't let him near the baby but threatens to tell his wife everything if he doesn't do what she wants. My brother is petrified of his family finding out so he is doing anything she asks. Her demands are becoming more and more extreme. My brother often has to miss work and spend time away from his family to deal with her on a daily basis. This woman's fiance is pretty dangerous so I worry about my brother getting hurt. This woman also occasionally uses drugs which makes her even more erratic. Both she and her fiance are extremely ghetto so this can blow up into a scary situation.
I don't know how to counsel him on this when he asks my advice. I don't condone his behavior but he is my brother and I love him. I feel the most sorry for the baby who has been born into this crazy situation. Does anyone have any advice on what I should counsel my brother to do without anyone getting hurt? I am so worried for him.
Karma is a bi@tch.
Tell him he better break the news to his wife before she does. It's going to be a lot harder to take coming from the mother of his child than him.
Your brother rolled the dice and lost. It's not going to be pretty.
Learn from his mistakes.
20yrsinBranson
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I can see many ways this can go, none of them will be good. I wish you good luck.
.....da bada bing boyz (aka mods) will be over shortly to close your account.
