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Women look at the personality, men go for the looks.
LOL! This should be nominated for all-time #10 inane generalization on this Forum. Not only wildly inaccurate but not something any sophisticated man would ever utter in their lives.
I admit, a part of me may wonder why he isn't going for someone on his own "level", but I also know that is insecurity. I think I could get over it fast enough :P.
I wouldn't have a problem with it in the sense that I'd feel "threatened" though. Good-looking people don't threaten me. I can appreciate their beauty, but also not blow it out of proportion and over-value it.
I don't think men who date women who are not as good-looking as they are see themselves as dating down. I think it's far more likely:
- The man sees the woman as being as good-looking as him or he simply doesn't compare her looks to his or anyone else's. Some people don't view attraction in terms of how people compare to one another because they recognize that attraction & sense of beauty can be very subjective. They simply are happy to find someone they personally enjoy & find attractive, without bothering to rate the person with some objective scale that doesn't even exist. If you're looking for a trophy, then you won't think that way, but if you're looking for a compatible partner that suits your tastes then you might think that way. It's not a matter of "doing better", but being happy & satisfied because you found someone you love.
- The man has unusual taste and doesn't care if the woman is not most people's cup of tea or is considered less good-looking than he is. This is related to the explanation above about beauty being subjective & not caring about snagging a "trophy" for a partner. So in the man's mind, he is not dating down, but he is getting exactly what he prefers.
- The man does not see himself as very good-looking. He may think they are on the same "level" of attractiveness.
- The man does not value looks as much as other qualities, or other qualities have served to boost his view of a woman's looks. Attraction goes beyond the physical after all. Maybe the woman is very kind, intelligent, funny, etc, and this has served to make her appear more beautiful. Many people don't over-analyze the reasons for their attraction anyway; they just know they like someone and go with it.
I disagree that "mismatched" couples are usually good-looking women with homely men. As a woman, I seem to note the opposite. I see lots of good-looking men with rather average women. I think you notice mismatched couples more when your preferred sex is the better looking one, because then you do the whole "what does he see in her?" thing as a knee-jerk reaction stemming from some resentment that you don't have someone that attractive for yourself (I mean "you" in the general sense here).
I also disagree that women are less visual than men or care less about looks, etc. Women may experience more over all objectification based on their looks than men do, but when it comes to individual preferences, women don't seem any less likely than men to require a base physical attraction before considering dating someone.
I too see mostly average guys with pretty gf/wives.
I always notice that too I'm not sure what the deal there is I think it depends on how much money the guy makes. Sometimes you'll see really out of shape dudes with women that clearly exercise too. I'm like seriously I work my butt off and watch what I eat every day to stay in shape and these guys are getting the physically attractive women.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,047,835 times
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Weird question. Maybe people with low self-esteem, fragile egos. I would think most people would prefer to date someone as attractive as possible. Who's comparing you two anyway?
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,047,835 times
Reputation: 11862
I was just thinking dating ugly chicks might be a good strategy. Other women will think, 'he must really love her for who she is, not for how she looks. Therefore he's not shallow.' Then when they think you're an angel you dump your ugly girlfriend when she least expects it.
there are women out there and on this forum that HAVE uttered 'I have to be the pretty one in the relationship' But frankly that is not how ALL women are just some. It's pretty insecure to reject someone because they are too good looking.
I always notice that too I'm not sure what the deal there is I think it depends on how much money the guy makes. Sometimes you'll see really out of shape dudes with women that clearly exercise too. I'm like seriously I work my butt off and watch what I eat every day to stay in shape and these guys are getting the physically attractive women.
Do you know what I like? I like to feed the guy I'm with well and I can see how that can make a guy gain some weight.
Do you know what I like? I like to feed the guy I'm with well and I can see how that can make a guy gain some weight.
Well there's something I don't read every day.
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