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I've heard of other scenarios just like that. IMO, cohabitation brings all the disadvantages of singlehood and marriage to women, and all the advantages - to men; hence, men love those limbos.
The advice I gave you is MORE important than your life just becoz I'm an unpaid, unthanked, unrepped, un-repcommented and bored i-clairvoyant
OR, there may be some posters who have some experience and perspective in the area. Obviously, internet advice (or any advice) should be taken with a grain of salt....
OR, there may be some posters who have some experience and perspective in the area. Obviously, internet advice (or any advice) should be taken with a grain of salt....
Chances are, you caught him so off guard, he's in shock. Some guys view this as their privledge to ask a woman to marry, maybe he's feeling inadequate with himself, becasue you felt like you had to ask? I don't blame you for being true to yourself, always, first and foremost be true to thine on self.
We discussed that...and he (almost 40) does not want children of his own...he would love to adopt mine, but their father of course is in the picture...and you obviousy have no clue what kind of a man it takes to be with a woman who has children. If you're a man...then he is a better one then you, and if you're a woman...then I HAVE better then you...simple!
You are right I don't know what it takes, I don't care either. Not my life story, thank God.
I believe in marriage, but I also don't think it's the end all. Why does it have to be marriage or nothing at all for some people?
If the relationship is good and you love each other, why not just leave it be (particularly if one person doesn't want to get married)?
I for one already explained it above. If I don't get any of the benefits of a marriage, then I want to keep the benefits of being single. I've no desire to be in a no-benefit situation.
I guess his answer isn't so bad. He wants to think about it...hmmm. I know I would feel a bit let down by that answer, too. But, if your relationship is otherwise good, you shouldn't upset the apple cart, especially since you have kids. I also wouldn't read too much into the so-called fact about how co-habitation makes a later marriage more likely to fail. That myth could be busted if someone did a double blind study and adjusted for all the likely variables no one mentions.
You probably should have discussed marriage a couple of years ago if you thought it was important, though. If you buy a house together, then you have at least one legal tie. Think of yourself as a committed gay couple and see how someone who can't get married might handle the situation.
I for one already explained it above. If I don't get any of the benefits of a marriage, then I want to keep the benefits of being single. I've no desire to be in a no-benefit situation.
What are the benefits of marriage?
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