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Sure, not everybody is rich but having a prenup sounds advisable for rich men. It doesn’t guarantee he will get to keep 100% of his assets but, still, better than nothing I suppose.
A prenup doesn’t make that much sense to me if both come up from similar economic backgrounds, both have a career, both work, etc.
onihC,
Let's say your wife decides not to go back to work after having children and you agree to it because it sounds good at the time. Let's say during that time she wants a divorce, even though it's not your fault. You decided a prenup doesn't make sense since you both had a career and both work. Well, she doesn't work anymore and wants out. Now, what do you do?
I'm not American and the divorce laws in New Zealand are very different than here. I believe the US laws create these monsters and should be changed.
Mediation is by far a better way to settle divorces than the craziness of taking your ex to the cleaners. It's disgusting and completely unbelievable that adults are encouraged to act like spoiled brats instead of trying to have an amicable breakup that enables both parties, including the children, to continue with their lives without being penalised.
I did not have a prenup with my first husband and I certainly didn't have drawn up this time around, despite the fact I have considerably more to lose than my SO.
Let's say your wife decides not to go back to work after having children and you agree to it because it sounds good at the time. Let's say during that time she wants a divorce, even though it's not your fault. You decided a prenup doesn't make sense since you both had a career and both work. Well, she doesn't work anymore and wants out. Now, what do you do?
It’s just one of those gambles in life and I would have to follow the law and hand her what she demanded as it usually goes with divorce. Besides alimony and other assets, if she demands the same kind of lifestyle she was accustomed to while she gets back on track then I would want her to also give me the same kind of lifestyle I was accustomed to as well which would involve her cooking for me, wash dishes, etc. all this while she gets back on track. We are both part-time spouses while she gets back on track pretty much (I take care of her financially, she takes care of me around the house).
It’s just one of those gambles in life and I would have to follow the law and hand her what she demanded as it usually goes with divorce. Besides alimony and other assets, if she demands the same kind of lifestyle she was accustomed to while she gets back on track then I would want her to also give me the same kind of lifestyle I was accustomed to as well which would involve her cooking for me, wash dishes, etc. all this while she gets back on track. We are both part-time spouses while she gets back on track pretty much (I take care of her financially, she takes care of me around the house).
Good luck, at least you've acknowledged the risks going in. I'd never put myself in that gamble, for the sake of my child's future.
Philosophically, I disagree with anyone keeping "what they were accustomed to". The whole point of divorce is to eliminate the current situation. However, I am for supporting non-working spouses while pursuing a degree in cases where both parties agreed the spouse would be non-working. Unless, of course they asked for a no-fault divorce or cheated. Neither side should profit from these or be accommodated with legal loopholes that encourage such.
I'm not American and the divorce laws in New Zealand are very different than here. I believe the US laws create these monsters and should be changed.
Mediation is by far a better way to settle divorces than the craziness of taking your ex to the cleaners. It's disgusting and completely unbelievable that adults are encouraged to act like spoiled brats instead of trying to have an amicable breakup that enables both parties, including the children, to continue with their lives without being penalised.
I did not have a prenup with my first husband and I certainly didn't have drawn up this time around, despite the fact I have considerably more to lose than my SO.
I agree about mediation in principle, with the right laws in place. Keep in mind that even mediation sessions are negotiated under the fear of what the laws, judges and court policies may result if they risk open court. So, someone may agree to something unreasonable, or their attorney may recommend it because they know the open court risks are even worse.
Everyone should have one. Marriage is one of the few instutition where we allow people to take other's property beyond what they need and have no problem with it.
Good luck, at least you've acknowledged the risks going in. I'd never put myself in that gamble, for the sake of my child's future.
It would be great if things like these had a warranty but, when it comes to marriage, it is said often how there is a 50% or higher possibility of divorce. That sounds like a gamble.
Quote:
Philosophically, I disagree with anyone keeping "what they were accustomed to". The whole point of divorce is to eliminate the current situation
The thing is that this law practice “what they were accustomed to” is only applied to the life women were accustomed to, not men. If this law was practiced both ways then the woman would nicely enjoy living with the luxuries she had before divorcing AND the man would get to enjoy that to by having the exwife go to his house to cook, wash dishes, etc. This would benefit BOTH parties until she got back on track. If this was the case you bet women would hurry up to quickly get a degree and/or a job and not just stretch their hand for an easy check. Two winning parties with this.
Quote:
However, I am for supporting non-working spouses while pursuing a degree in cases where both parties agreed the spouse would be non-working. Unless, of course they asked for a no-fault divorce or cheated. Neither side should profit from these or be accommodated with legal loopholes that encourage such.
I don’t know how it works with each state but can a woman be rewarded with half of a man’s assets, child custody, alimony, etc. if she cheats or asks for a no-fault divorce?
I don’t know how it works with each state but can a woman be rewarded with half of a man’s assets, child custody, alimony, etc. if she cheats or asks for a no-fault divorce?
No each spouse is rewarded with approximately 1/2 of marital assets. Yes a woman or man can be rewarded with child custody. Yes a woman or man can be rewarded with alimony depending on such things as length of marriage and income disparity, earning potential, etc.
I'm not American and the divorce laws in New Zealand are very different than here. I believe the US laws create these monsters and should be changed.
Mediation is by far a better way to settle divorces than the craziness of taking your ex to the cleaners. It's disgusting and completely unbelievable that adults are encouraged to act like spoiled brats instead of trying to have an amicable breakup that enables both parties, including the children, to continue with their lives without being penalised.
I did not have a prenup with my first husband and I certainly didn't have drawn up this time around, despite the fact I have considerably more to lose than my SO.
I think all this crap you are hearing about men being taken to the cleaners is just crap. For the most part couples are encouraged or forced to first go to mediation to settle distribution of assests following the guidelines set by divorce law. Only when an agreement cant be made does this stuff ever go before a judge. You have to pick your battles. Fighting over stuff or making extreme demands only puts money in the attornys pockets. If that happens its not the laws its a couples own doing.
Ive gone down the divorce road twice. We had to go to mediation and our agreements during that were upheld by the court.
If I were to ever marry again, I would have no problem with a pre nup. I would want one to protect my assests for my kids.
When my first husband and I divorced were agreed on the settlement of our joint property and custody arrangements for our children, privately. There was no Court, no judgments, nothing legal except the documents we both agreed upon, signed by our respective Lawyers.
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