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Granted, some of your expenses should be shifted to the joint account. However, it is absolutely fair that the one that earns gets to spend. You want more, you work more. It's time to stop eying your partner's money for your personal desires. Last but not least, gifts are just that, gifts.Where do you get off to complain that he is not buying you a new toy (notebook) or jewelry.
Her husband should WANT her to have nice things and if he makes significantly more than she does, then he should WANT to do it for her, because he loves her and knows she'll appreciate it.
I feel she should ask him to help purchase a new computer for her since he knows all she has $300 for the month.
Man, he's a true DRIP of a husband, but then again, was he this way BEFORE the OP married him?
I'm sure the signs were there and she ignored them.
yes. i dont want expensive things all the time or anything. it's just that i feel how could he spend all on himself? doesnt he think about me? care about me?
i dont "want" jewelry. but i see my friends getting jewelry (say $200 earrings) and i feel their husbands think about them, want to make them happy.love them. and mine never gives me jewelry or anything else. even for the $40 gifts, i have to ask. (after he "forgets" my birthday and says on my birthday what do you want ? i forgot to get you a gift.i have $40 now so tell me what you want)
How did you meet this man??
Do you consider yourself unattractive is this why you are putting up with this?
I'm sure he "forgot" your birthday before you got married as well.
How long were you together before the marriage? Who proposed? You?
we are here for 18 days. not on vacation.he will be conducting workshops. i had to buy my own air ticket.
we came here, saw lots of nice hotels, and guess what he got for us?
a house for rent which is not very nice, no cook. so i paid for my own ticket to come see the country and im here cooking and cleaning!! i did not visit one nice place yet
Why are you there with him? I thought you had your own job?
You're husband is a tightwad, so get used to it.
I'd leave if I was you, but I never would have married him from the get go. It seems he always had these "tendencies" even before you were married.
Or you American? Was this an "arranged" marriage?
If so, then ignore all my posts. You won't go anywhere.
oh no! sorry if i gave you the wrong impression.i am American too. i mentioned he is American because someone asked.
so last night was "the night"
in the morning, when he went to the hotel where he conducts the workshop (and where he gets all the food he can eat for free) i didnt cook for my self.
i took out $500 from "his money" and went out to eat.turns out i can buy breakfast for $2. something called "idiappa" - string hoppers. which tastes wonderful. so after being out by myself i was feeling good. i went shopping.(using "his money")
then i ate lunch.little place but nice rice and curry.taste was great and the cost, just $2. then i shopped more.got loads of things. but total cost $300.
after full day of fun i waited till he came home and told him i didnt cook dinner,i didnt came here to cook for him.i came here to enjoy. he saw what i purchased and i told him about the money. he didnt say anything,which is strange. then he saw this question.(it was on my laptop screen) and i told him im not coming back with him and he can take all his money and go back i didnt care anymore.
he started to beg saying no what are you doing blah blah blah. then he said ok i ll give you $1000 per month. i said no i dont want that. we should save more money and have $500 per each per month.
he agreed!!!!!! im in a hurry now. will update more later. (im getting a laptop!) i guess i should have told him "im leaving" long time a go)
Why would an American woman say she wouldn't go back with him? Why would she stay overseas and not return to her family and friends? Strange.
She shows him the lap top screen.
Then the husband desides to give her $1000 per month when up till now he set aside $40-$50 on her birthday so he could pull it out and say that is all he had to spend on her. After seeing the screen he agrees to all her requests. Yea right.
I believe there is more to this story that we haven't heard. In the first place what type of wife is going to go on vacation with her husband and spend her time cooking and cleaning, something smells fishy to me. Maybe they aren't even married, that would make more sense.
Maybe Beth will tell the whole story and it will all make sense.
so.. we are still in sri lanka. he is totally changed after the talks we had. it is to be seen if he will maintain this after we return to the US. anyway today is valentines and he gave me roses, a card, and chocolates. he never did this before. we went to so many places and had fun. i dont remember a time i was happier than this. must say thanks to everyone who replied and "made" me have a talk with him about the problem.
"anyway today is valentines and he gave me roses, a card, and chocolates. he never did this before."
No, I don't believe she's an American citizen. Nothing about her sounds like she is, her lifestyle is that of a woman from a 3rd world country where they treat their wives like property, not someone they love.
When I've been wronged, my best weapon has always been some teensy-weensy sabotage, some as miniscule as the eye of needle, some so miniscule the offender won't even notice it. But oh the laughs!!!
Originally Posted by beth1929 what does it mean when someone says "i want to be treated like a princess/queen" or "he treats me like a princess/queen"?
what does it mean to you?
Here is our answer. My two year old niece knows what it's like to be treated like a princess.
That explains it, the jerk knows he can get away with it so he treats her like dirt. She is not a roommate. A roomate doesn't pick up after you, clean and cook for you. He has a free maid that also sets it out when he wants it. I hope he's not an American either, that would just make me sick to my stomack to think that one of ours would treat someone that bad.
Beth, you don't have to stay with him. Get a new life with someone that does love you.
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i mentioned he is American because someone asked. 
im in a hurry now. will update more later. (im getting a laptop!) i guess i should have told him "im leaving" long time a go)
