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Why are some posters saying that the OP "flaked"? She didn't flake and I don't think it's right to accuse her of that. They had their date and she couldn't go to his place afterwards because she had a class the next day. If anything, the guy is the flake for suddenly not wanting a relationship because she wouldn't put out? What is wrong with people these days? Is sex mandatory within the first 3 dates in order for a relationship to proceed? I'm no prude and I'm all for "go with the moment" but lately it just seems like if there's no action, the guys just take off.
This has been my experience in the past year of being actively dating. At first, it was very dissapointed but now it has sort of become standard procedure. I go out on dates, I don't put out on the third one, I never hear from the guys again. It sucks and it hurts but I decided that the right man for me will wait for when the time is right and when I am comfortable with becoming intimate instead of following a stupid, childish "rule."
OP, don't take it personally. He was just looking to get laid and since you did not give him anything, he flaked. Be glad he's out of your life. You deserve better
You told him no to coming over one night and he took it as REJECTION.
Don't look back on this t*rd.
Also, if it moves lightening fast...you are gonna get struck down, because he can't possibly DIG YOU IMMENSELY when he does not even know you. And the same goes for you. YOU don't know him.
This has been my experience in the past year of being actively dating. At first, it was very dissapointed but now it has sort of become standard procedure. I go out on dates, I don't put out on the third one, I never hear from the guys again. It sucks and it hurts but I decided that the right man for me will wait for when the time is right and when I am comfortable with becoming intimate instead of following a stupid, childish "rule."
OP, don't take it personally. He was just looking to get laid and since you did not give him anything, he flaked. Be glad he's out of your life. You deserve better
Good for you DRGirl! I have single friends and when I see and hear what they go through, it makes me more happy that I'm married. Even when I go out (with or w/out hubby), it's like a meat market out there and I see guys checking me and every other woman out in the place. I made my husband stick it out when we were dating. We kissed and fooled around of course but as for having sex, he waited about 3 months. I wanted to see where the relationship was going. I was ready to find "the one" and have a serious relationship. He had no problem at all.
Good for you DRGirl! I have single friends and when I see and hear what they go through, it makes me more happy that I'm married. Even when I go out (with or w/out hubby), it's like a meat market out there and I see guys checking me and every other woman out in the place. I made my husband stick it out when we were dating. We kissed and fooled around of course but as for having sex, he waited about 3 months. I wanted to see where the relationship was going. I was ready to find "the one" and have a serious relationship. He had no problem at all.
Congrats in finding a great man, Bellakin. He didn't mind waiting because he truly wanted to know you, and not just your body. Enjoy your life with hubby, it's a tough market for singles.
Lighting a ton of candles all over his place. He cooked a really nice meal that took him hours to prepare.
All day he was cleaning his place from top to bottom. He went through and made sure everything looked nice and smelled nice.
There were flowers on the table with candles flickering and two of his best plates and silverware on a linen table cloth. On top of your setting was a card he took hours to find. A special quote written by him that tells his true feelings for you.
He walks over to the stereo and puts on some romantic music.
*phone rings*
"Oh..you're not coming? You have class? No..it's alright."
*Click*
~Silence~
*POP!* Bottle is popped open as he drinks the glass of champagne by himself.
Good for you DRGirl! I have single friends and when I see and hear what they go through, it makes me more happy that I'm married. Even when I go out (with or w/out hubby), it's like a meat market out there and I see guys checking me and every other woman out in the place. I made my husband stick it out when we were dating. We kissed and fooled around of course but as for having sex, he waited about 3 months. I wanted to see where the relationship was going. I was ready to find "the one" and have a serious relationship. He had no problem at all.
"I made my husband stick it out"
Lucky guy!
Quote:
Originally Posted by DRGirl
Congrats in finding a great man, Bellakin. He didn't mind waiting because he truly wanted to know you, and not just your body. Enjoy your life with hubby, it's a tough market for singles.
I would rather be single than to have a woman or man make me do anything.
If a mature man "really" wants you for the long haul he won't mind waiting. If you have good open lines of communication and know where each other is coming from this would be a non-issue anyway.
I can't help finding this thread to be a bit hilarious, not because of the OP's initial post though. It's a good study on hyping up value/too much self esteem. There are a few details missing here before we can get on with the "you deserve better" parties.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Caltovegas
It's so simple. Put out or get out...It wasn't you he was after it was your body. Don't take it personal it happens. Just move on..
This, don't take it personal that's just the way it is.
lots of females do the same things as well.
Quote:
Originally Posted by bellakin123
I have single friends and when I see and hear what they go through, it makes me more happy that I'm married. Even when I go out (with or w/out hubby), it's like a meat market out there and I see guys checking me and every other woman out in the place.
No complaints about your ego being validated I see
Quote:
I made my husband stick it out when we were dating. We kissed and fooled around of course but as for having sex, he waited about 3 months. I wanted to see where the relationship was going. I was ready to find "the one" and have a serious relationship. He had no problem at all.
Three months? oh god that sounds like emasculation, but to each their own. I know your in a situation that you like at the moment but when I hear things like this it just screams to me that the man has no other options.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DRGirl
This has been my experience in the past year of being actively dating. At first, it was very dissapointed but now it has sort of become standard procedure. I go out on dates, I don't put out on the third one, I never hear from the guys again. It sucks and it hurts but I decided that the right man for me will wait for when the time is right and when I am comfortable with becoming intimate instead of following a stupid, childish "rule."
I can't be that sympathetic with you. In your previous posts you've mentioned that you basically have taken the online dating route. As someone who holds an "advanced" degree, you should know what type of cats frequent those sites (as well as the disproportional number of men using them). Point and click, point and click, wash rinse repeat. There's no risk when it comes to sitting behind your computer screen. If those are the results that you've gotten within the past year or so then it is your fault ultimately. There are plenty of ways to meet new people, house parties, festivals etc don't be lazy.
There's a reason for this three dating rule. It's not something that's set in stone, it's relative to your experience, although this board... is probably not the best place to explain it.
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. It sucks and it hurts but I decided that the right man for me will wait for when the time is right and when I am comfortable with becoming intimate instead of following a stupid, childish "rule."
Here is my take on your situation...
