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It sounds to me like simple abuse. You were abused and now you are abusing. It's a cycle. It's really as simple as that. I would suggest you get help. If you don't, you will never have a happy life or a good relationship..People who are bullied or abused most times will become an abuser..It really is that simple.
Last edited by supermanpansy; 01-26-2012 at 11:38 AM..
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
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Finally a thread that goes a little deeper into psychological issues...counselling does sound like a good idea, but like others have said you have to learn to 'let go' of the past abuses (and they do sound bad) which will free you and make you happy.
I often see people who are nasty and sometimes tell they are hurting, so I'm sympathetic to them as well, try to understand them. Life is painful, sometimes we just take it out on people without thinking.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,029,399 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by Coolhand68
It takes effort, but two things you need to do is learn how to kill them with kindness and think how your words would be received if they were directed at you. Anytime someone is trying to push your buttons and you show anger, they've basically won. Show them it doesn't phase you and it eats them up. But, it's not enough to pretend it doesn't phase you, because you're still being torn up inside with rage. You need to really take a quick inventory of this person and decide just how important they are that you'll allow them to make you so angry.
A majority of people you will meet in your life time will come and go, and will be forgotten in a matter of months or a few years. Reserve your anger for those you actually respect and hold to a higher standard. The rest don't deserve to have that much control over your emotions, but they also don't deserve to be treated as doormats or punching bags because you have some unresolved anger.
Not all methods of coping will work for everyone. We're all wired a little differently. Some anger easily, some don't. These guys who belittled you in the past, you gave them too much credibility. You know you aren't stupid or dumb, and anyone who tells you that you should end your life is a just cruel, selfish, and childish at best, so why let their words have so much impact on you after all these years? They were simply resorting to cheap tactics because they didn't have the maturity, respect, or mental horsepower to talk things out with you.
When in an argument the best way to make someone scarlet with frustration is to show that you are not emotionally affected by what they say. It takes practice, but learn to be cool, calm, but assertive.
As a person with an effective track record in counseling, may I offer this?
It sounds like you may be engaging in "Pre-emptive strikes." Simply put, you may be striking first in order to prevent being stricken -- "Do Unto Others BEFORE They Can Do Unto You."
As a short-term tactic this is quite effective. However, as a long-term strategy it leaves much to be desired.
I second the many recommendations to seek counseling.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,029,399 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nighteyes
As a person with an effective track record in counseling, may I offer this?
It sounds like you may be engaging in "Pre-emptive strikes." Simply put, you may be striking first in order to prevent being stricken -- "Do Unto Others BEFORE They Can Do Unto You."
As a short-term tactic this is quite effective. However, as a long-term strategy it leaves much to be desired.
I second the many recommendations to seek counseling.
Regards as always,
-- Nighteyes
'You insults cannot penetrate my shield of super smiling sunshine!'
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Now I see why you post all those threads calling for deep psychoanalysis!
