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One of my friends recently got married. In his own words he said that his "life is completely gone now!" I see tons of problems in his marriage, some of them which he directly mentioned to me. Here is a list:
1.) No or little contact with friends. As he mentioned to be after his other friends go married he hardly saw them. Same with him now, I hardly ever even talk to him these days.
2.) His financial situation looks to be completely ruined. He had great saving when he was single but now he is actually in debt because of tons of expenses:
-Over $500 a month on dates/eating out
-Over $10K spend on 2 vacations (including honeymoon)
-$12K spend on wedding and engagement ring
-Bought a new $40K family car
-Yet to come is $350k to $400k nice big house his wife demands since his current house is too small/old
3.) He used to be very active in sports but can't anymore because his wife doesn't want to be alone. He stopped going to gym. He used to be a runner and ran races, but his wife doesn't like that either. So he has officially given that up.
4.) Can't even watch movies/TV shows he likes. He use like comedy that be offensive, like Harold & Kumar, but his wife won't watch it all. Of course he get complaints when tries to watch sports. Instead he stuck watching chick flicks or recorded soap operas!
Honestly, all his life involves is going to work and then going home to "spend time with his wife." Seems like most married guys I know has about the same routine. I guess they are so in love, all of the trouble worthwhile? At end of day it looks his life went downhill, just like he said!
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,699 posts, read 41,733,093 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by unseengundam
One of my friends recently got married. In his own words he said that his "life is completely gone now!" I see tons of problems in his marriage, some of them which he directly mentioned to me. Here is a list:
1.) No or little contact with friends. As he mentioned to be after his other friends go married he hardly saw them. Same with him now, I hardly ever even talk to him these days.
2.) His financial situation looks to be completely ruined. He had great saving when he was single but now he is actually in debt because of tons of expenses:
-Over $500 a month on dates/eating out
-Over $10K spend on 2 vacations (including honeymoon)
-$12K spend on wedding and engagement ring
-Bought a new $40K family car
-Yet to come is $350k to $400k nice big house his wife demands since his current house is too small/old
3.) He used to be very active in sports but can't anymore because his wife doesn't want to be alone. He stopped going to gym. He used to be a runner and ran races, but his wife doesn't like that either. So he has officially given that up.
4.) Can't even watch movies/TV shows he likes. He use like comedy that be offensive, like Harold & Kumar, but his wife won't watch it all. Of course he get complaints when tries to watch sports. Instead he stuck watching chick flicks or recorded soap operas!
Honestly, all his life involves is going to work and then going home to "spend time with his wife." Seems like most married guys I know has about the same routine. I guess they are so in love, all of the trouble worthwhile? At end of day it looks his life went downhill, just like he said!
The reason that your friend is miserable ain't b/c he is married but because he cannot stand up to his woman and say no. A marriage license is not a bill of sale. He has the right to come and go as he pleases as a human being. If his wife can't understand that he needs to kick her out of his small house.
The problem isn't marriage, it's that your friend didn't choose the right person.
Why would you let someone elses poor choices influence your opinion on marriage???
From what I heard other guys it seems be there marriage life might closer to my friends. Or maybe they are all joking when talk about how will never have any $$ to retire because of spending all on their wife/family?
From what I heard other guys it seems be there marriage life might closer to my friends. Or maybe they are all joking when talk about how will never have any $$ to retire because of spending all on their wife/family?
Listen to me very carefully. The indirect message these lads are trying to tell you is to be very careful about the woman you decide to spend the rest of your life with. They obviously made horrible choices and are suffering as a result. Not every marriage is like that..and I am speaking from experience.
From what I heard other guys it seems be there marriage life might closer to my friends. Or maybe they are all joking when talk about how will never have any $$ to retire because of spending all on their wife/family?
Maybe it's just the company you keep.
My husband can come and go as he pleases, still plays his sports and watches them on TV, when we go on dates it's usually to a sporting event, he still works on his truck and we have a pretty decent 401K for retirement.
Is your friend p-whipped? Sounds like it to me. He can only blame his wife for half of that, he puts up and goes along with it....meh. Did he not see this coming? $12K on a wedding ring? Ridiculous.....and I'm a woman and still think that.
I know a lady who married a couple years ago. $15K on the ring, $30K on the wedding, $20K on the honeymoon. Maybe that's normal pricing for weddings these days but what a waste, IMO anyway. I can think of a lot better use for that sum.
I've been married 17 years and I have no leash on my DH and no interest in doing so. He sees his friends, works on his car, we also do a lot together.
It's important to pick the right person to begin with, doesn't sound like your friend did.
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