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Whats up with these responses??? After the reading the OP I was very excited to see responses as it seemed it was intended to almost be a scientific study. Instead the simple, straightforward question that was clearly disclaimed of any negative connotation has been totally misinterpreted by nearly all respondents.
I also don't understand all the "Whats the big deal? This normal human behavior, you're looking too far into it" comments... Umm YEAH! That's the point! OP want's to know WHY it is normal behavior. So funny how everyone thinks the observation of these said "tests" are "looking to deeply" into the subject when the simple question that has been posed is so severely being over-analyzed.
Why? Because the examples cited have never happened or ever been an issue in my relationships.
But if a woman may want to let's say, leave her purse with someone while she goes to the bathroom is NOT a test but a thing women tend to do with people they trust. They do it with their friends too. It's not a girl/guy relationship test.
These are called initial stages, probation period, first months or years, and so on. There are girls who won’t do things such as showing initiative, contributing to expenses as much and as often as the guy, romance him, and so on UNTIL they are reassured that the man is nice, serious, not a player, etc. So all these months or years, in one way or the other, the man is tested and it won’t be until he “passes” that a woman will get to consider the thought of maybe doing something for him.
Im in my mid 30s and have dated quite a bit for the last 15 years. I have dated some wonderful girls and some who turned out to be a total waste of time, as one would expect. One thing all of the ladies I dated had in common, is that they put me (and other possible mates FWIW) through neverending series of tests of sorts, from the first date all the way through a long term serious relationship. Having interest in human psychology, and how both sexes relate to each other, I have noticed most every test thrown my way and usually pointed it out to my date or SO, sometimes at a cost. Here are some of the more common tests, that I notice on regular basis:
- when initialy meeting in a social place, a woman will ask a guy to watch her purse or a jacket as she goes to the ladies room with her friend (dont do it guys).
- A woman will often try to get your attention, while you are doing something seemingly important to you, like watching your favorite NFL team in the playoffs.
- A woman will often try to change your schedule around, in order to see if you are willing to give up something important to you in favor of what she wants to do at that given time.
- A woman will walk away from a man and a man is to follow, but never anymore than twice as this will deem him weak. If he doesn't follow at all she will think he is not interested. This is all part of the mating ritual and a lot of women will not even know they are doing it.
- A woman may start an argument with someone in your presence just to see if you will stick up for her. I'd advise sticking up for her and then if you have a big disagreement with what she is doing, discuss it with her in private and let her tell you her view point.
- A woman may be intentionally late just to see if you set barriers or not. Set barriers. Be firm but don't be a jerk. Let them know it's not okay to be late.
- A woman wants proof that you love her and persistence is the only way they know you aren't a quitter, as a quitter wouldn't really love them. In other words if you really love them, you won't quit. Keep in mind at the same time not to crowd them, give them space.
This is only a tip of the iceberg, and I copuld probably write a book about these types of tests, but let me assure you, it isnt a short list by any means.
My question to you ladies is the following. When you put a man through these series of tests, is it something that you do on a conscious level, while being completely aware of what is taking place? In that case why do you do it?
Or is it something that you do subconsciously, and is nothing than a tool of nature instilled in females to assure that they pick a suitabe mate? Perhaps its a combination of both? Looking forward to your responses.
.
*Note to self, never date a psyc. major, or anyone who claims to be thoroughly interested in such*
Okay, IMO, you're reading way too far into these behaviors OP. These are not "tests" they are simply things that can happen during a normal course of events called LIFE.
I have no idea, Ive never really witnessed guys testing women. I take it you think I am overanalyzing, and perhaps you are right. But I have always noticed these things in my relations, and always wondered why that is and have always been curious of what women think about that. I am a thinker, while I fully recognize that many females prefer a guy who is easily satisfied with a good meal and a little sex. A simple man.
Yes. It's okay to be a thinker - but I think you are an over thinker and you are creating issues where there are none. Whenever I have asked someone to watch my bag for me - it is simply because I don't want it to get stolen while I'm in the bathroom. It's not a test. I still can't even think of what I would be testing for. I think you need to relax a little bit and just enjoy getting to know someone instead of thinking that every little thing that they are doing is some sort of a test. That just sounds exhausting to me! Oh - and for the record - there is nothing wrong with simple men. Being a thinker doesn't make you superior to those that don't overanalyze everything - it just makes you a bit more neurotic!
I gotta admit, I had to laugh yesterday. I was with a girl I just met, and she sat down with me and we talked for about 5 mins. The first thing she did was ask if she could leave the room for a bit and leave her purse with me
My girlfriend's never put me through any "tests" that I know of. Then again, we already knew each other before dating and she's not the "test" type anyway.
It's not just limited to women. I have a male friend who took a date to his friends' party. She didn't know anyone else there and when she had very little interaction with the other people, that was a strike against her.
Yes. It's okay to be a thinker - but I think you are an over thinker and you are creating issues where there are none. Whenever I have asked someone to watch my bag for me - it is simply because I don't want it to get stolen while I'm in the bathroom. It's not a test. I still can't even think of what I would be testing for. I think you need to relax a little bit and just enjoy getting to know someone instead of thinking that every little thing that they are doing is some sort of a test. That just sounds exhausting to me! Oh - and for the record - there is nothing wrong with simple men. Being a thinker doesn't make you superior to those that don't overanalyze everything - it just makes you a bit more neurotic!
You know, its really not such a big thing for me. I dont get hung up or upset about these "challenges". Most of the time I wont even mention a thing and simply pass the test with flying colors. The leaving purse with someone test is simple. It involves two people who have just met, and the girl asks the guy to watch her stuff as she leaves to the ladies room. She is testing the guy to see if he is a pushover. Its a true challenge and happens all the time. All the women denying it, simply means its subconscious, and as much of a mystery to women as it is to men. There is nothing wrong with guys who are simple, same way there is nothing wrong with guys who like to use their brains. I am perfectly relaxed and enjoying every minute of my life. Was simply looking for some insight from the opposite sex, on things I notice. Cheers
I gotta admit, I had to laugh yesterday. I was with a girl I just met, and she sat down with me and we talked for about 5 mins. The first thing she did was ask if she could leave the room for a bit and leave her purse with me
Nice..... If you did, may as well start looking for another tester...ahem...i mean girl...SO anyway, how did it go
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