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Old 01-29-2012, 07:16 PM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,606 posts, read 55,779,416 times
Reputation: 11862

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The idea of a perfect partner is fantasy. Life isn't perfect. Even if you find the perfect one, what's the guarantee your life with them will be perfect?
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Old 01-29-2012, 07:21 PM
 
Location: The Midst of Insanity
3,219 posts, read 7,060,056 times
Reputation: 3286
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trimac20 View Post
The use of terms like 'out of my league', 'scoring' confirms to me that dating is really more a sport, a competition, than it is about love.

Men are visual creatures (what a cliche) and the main avenue for meeting women is in a bar or club, where the only way to really notice someone is by looks. That's why they're generally pretty bad places for seriously meeting singles.
Perhaps for the under 25 crowd.

Just because men are "visual creatures" doesnt mean that they should just be able to have whatever aesthetically pleasing woman they want. He has to have something to offer her, just as she has her looks to offer him.

(NO GUYS, that doesn't translate into "he should have a lot of money")
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Old 01-29-2012, 07:29 PM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,606 posts, read 55,779,416 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by annika08 View Post
Perhaps for the under 25 crowd.

Just because men are "visual creatures" doesnt mean that they should just be able to have whatever aesthetically pleasing woman they want. He has to have something to offer her, just as she has her looks to offer him.

(NO GUYS, that doesn't translate into "he should have a lot of money")
I want more than looks, and I wouldn't want a woman who liked me solely for my looks.
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Old 01-29-2012, 07:30 PM
 
243 posts, read 545,263 times
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Other posters like dewdrop, whyte bird, and cpg basically covered my opinions on the matter.

Broad generalizations (aka "leagues") are unhelpful when dealing with interpersonal relationships. I'm not trying to sell a product to a demographic like "college educated, 23-34 year old women who make $35,000 to 70,000/year". That's where a generalization based on market research that works 80% of the time is still pretty darn helpful. Instead, I'm trying to get to know one person. One out of six billion. 80% just won't cut it.

Is an accountant easier to get than a publicist? Is a Persian-American harder to get than an Armenian-American? Doesn't that sound silly? About as silly as separating people into classes based on looks, and extrapolating behavior.

Even if a woman has a list of "requirements", it's more like the qualifications on a job listing. It's what the "ideal candidate" has and subject to change if the right person comes along.
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Old 01-29-2012, 07:34 PM
 
Location: The Midst of Insanity
3,219 posts, read 7,060,056 times
Reputation: 3286
Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223 View Post
Look. First's things first. The term, 'to get.' You're not dropping a butterfly net over the woman to put her in a cage. You are not conquering. You're not trying to coax her into the sack for a quickie (Well, okay, maybe you are). If that's how you approach things, then count on Rosie Palms being your regular saturday night date.

Second, the #1 sure-fire way to get a woman interested in you is to, ahem, TALK TO HER. As if she were a real human being with real thoughts and emotions and desires and beliefs. Not as if she were a life-support system for boobs and a vagina.

Third, respect yourself. In how you dress. In how you talk. In how you walk through the room. Because if you don't think you're a person of value, if you think you're playing out of your league, then you are automatically telling her that you are beneath her.

So there you go, Tiger. Knock 'em dead.
Ding ding ding, winner!
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Old 01-29-2012, 08:53 PM
 
3 posts, read 6,997 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by annika08 View Post
Perhaps for the under 25 crowd.

Just because men are "visual creatures" doesnt mean that they should just be able to have whatever aesthetically pleasing woman they want. He has to have something to offer her, just as she has her looks to offer him.

(NO GUYS, that doesn't translate into "he should have a lot of money")
Yes that translates into having "looks", if not looks then tons of money.
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Old 01-29-2012, 09:04 PM
 
Location: Planet Eaarth
8,954 posts, read 20,604,192 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Trimac20 View Post
I can't really speak from personal experience (only internet dating really ) but I'm wondering if you've found this to be the case...

That there's no point 'limiting yourself' and sticking to girls who are 'in your league' because you think they are too good for you or because they are very attractive, let's say the top 10% of the population.

Personally, I think girls who think of themselves as attractive - which isn't always the same as actually being so - often try to play 'hard to get' or just keep themselves off-limits. A lot of rather average looking women think of themselves this way. On the other hand, it seems if you hit the right buttons it's not all that impossible to land the 'hot chick', especially if she doesn't have that attitude.

I guess my point is that maybe the whole belief that attractive women are much harder to have a relationship with isn't entirely true (and mean of course there is a basis for it). I'm not just talking exceptions, but maybe a different dynamic is going on.

What do you think?
I was but a boy when this song hit the radio but it struck me as so much common sense about the pretty and vain girls in the world.

So rather than chase after the prettiest girls in school I dated and married a wonderful plain girl who's been the best wife a man could ever want. Never been sorry a day in my life!!

This is the song that started it all for me so listen and read the lyrics........


Jimmy Soul Lyrics - YouTube
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Old 01-29-2012, 09:08 PM
 
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 19,949,660 times
Reputation: 9417
Quote:
Originally Posted by Grandpa Pipes View Post
I was but a boy when this song hit the radio but it struck me as so much common sense about the pretty and vain girls in the world.

So rather than chase after the prettiest girls in school I dated and married a wonderful plain girl who's been the best wife a man could ever want. Never been sorry a day in my life!!

This is the song that started it all for me so listen and read the lyrics........


Jimmy Soul Lyrics - YouTube
I know that song. But a majority of men who do that will be unfaithful in that situation, I believe, don't you think?
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Old 01-29-2012, 09:09 PM
 
Location: Texas
391 posts, read 685,637 times
Reputation: 499
It depends on what is in that pretty woman's head.

If she is vain and habitually uses her appearance to
get her way then I don't want to get together with her.
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Old 01-29-2012, 09:11 PM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,606 posts, read 55,779,416 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by Whyte Byrd View Post
I know that song. But a majority of men who do that will be unfaithful in that situation, I believe, don't you think?
Some will, some won't. Not all those who won't are 'suppressing' those desires either. They really don't want anyone else, even just to have sex with.
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