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Old 01-29-2012, 09:25 PM
 
37,439 posts, read 45,636,613 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223 View Post
Look. First's things first. The term, 'to get.' You're not dropping a butterfly net over the woman to put her in a cage. You are not conquering. You're not trying to coax her into the sack for a quickie (Well, okay, maybe you are). If that's how you approach things, then count on Rosie Palms being your regular saturday night date.

Second, the #1 sure-fire way to get a woman interested in you is to, ahem, TALK TO HER. As if she were a real human being with real thoughts and emotions and desires and beliefs. Not as if she were a life-support system for boobs and a vagina.

Third, respect yourself. In how you dress. In how you talk. In how you walk through the room. Because if you don't think you're a person of value, if you think you're playing out of your league, then you are automatically telling her that you are beneath her.

So there you go, Tiger. Knock 'em dead.
This^^. Nothing else.
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Old 01-30-2012, 02:16 AM
 
Location: The Present
2,006 posts, read 4,292,745 times
Reputation: 1987
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trimac20 View Post
I can't really speak from personal experience (only internet dating really ) but I'm wondering if you've found this to be the case...

That there's no point 'limiting yourself' and sticking to girls who are 'in your league' because you think they are too good for you or because they are very attractive, let's say the top 10% of the population.

Personally, I think girls who think of themselves as attractive - which isn't always the same as actually being so - often try to play 'hard to get' or just keep themselves off-limits. A lot of rather average looking women think of themselves this way. On the other hand, it seems if you hit the right buttons it's not all that impossible to land the 'hot chick', especially if she doesn't have that attitude.

I guess my point is that maybe the whole belief that attractive women are much harder to have a relationship with isn't entirely true (and mean of course there is a basis for it). I'm not just talking exceptions, but maybe a different dynamic is going on.

What do you think?

No attractive women aren't hard to get

but first off it depends on your definition of attractive.

If you like to slap the liberal label on your sleeve then that means you might find women who are overweight or hard to look at to be pleasant.

I've stated this in another thread but I think that a lot of "average" women are riding on a skewed dating market values. Women have too much self esteem in the west and this creates a delusional playing field. You have lot's of women who otherwise would be categorized as 2s and 4s who feel as if they've just graced the runway during a Paris fashion week.

Most attractive women suffered from inflated ego's as well, this is due to guys who are inept in social dynamics acting very thirsty.

They aren't hard to get. I see lot's of men settle for women they don't find attractive. If you want "her", make yourself attractive...bring something to the table because whether your a man or woman in the end of the day looks will eventually fade.
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Old 01-30-2012, 03:38 AM
 
591 posts, read 863,466 times
Reputation: 691
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93 View Post
But even a woman playing hard to get is going to be easy to get if she wants to be got.
Not necessarily; I've had 3-4 women go stir crazy when I never hit on them, they sent no clues, they made no approach, no smiles, no meeting half-way no nothing.


Totally ignored me. Which is why I had no clue they wanted to be "easy to get".
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Old 01-30-2012, 03:44 AM
 
591 posts, read 863,466 times
Reputation: 691
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Freak View Post
Yes attractive women are harder to get because many more men want them so they are surrounded (or maybe even approached) by men almost all the time.

So everytime I see a woman who looks even slightly attractive to me on the street, then I think to myself: She probably already has a boyfriend.

Actually it's not quite that simple. The hot women go thru alternate cycles of A): asshats approaching them with lewd comments and trying to grab *stuff* and poisoning them against men in general; or B): a lot of men (some of whom are really decent) don't have the courage to approach for fear they will be seen as either too shallow merely for going for nice-looking women, or just because they think they will be turned down out of hand OR (and this applies to me in the past) because some feminazi blasted on them for no reason at all, or accused them of staring when in fact they were not.

And BTW the best looking woman I know has (or I should say use to have) a very low-self opinion, had no friends in HS, and got stuck with a loser-pothead she divorced about 2 years ago (he refused to work, she had to support him and her two kids). It took years of counseling from me and my gf to get her to break out of that, after which she found a great guy. And she tells me that men (except for her new bf) never approached her ever. She never really had dates.

Last edited by Doctor Blues; 01-30-2012 at 03:49 AM.. Reason: typos, additions to comments.
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Old 01-30-2012, 05:00 AM
 
Location: FL
2,392 posts, read 5,706,830 times
Reputation: 1277
Quote:
Originally Posted by wordlife View Post
No attractive women aren't hard to get

but first off it depends on your definition of attractive.

If you like to slap the liberal label on your sleeve then that means you might find women who are overweight or hard to look at to be pleasant.

I've stated this in another thread but I think that a lot of "average" women are riding on a skewed dating market values. Women have too much self esteem in the west and this creates a delusional playing field. You have lot's of women who otherwise would be categorized as 2s and 4s who feel as if they've just graced the runway during a Paris fashion week.

Most attractive women suffered from inflated ego's as well, this is due to guys who are inept in social dynamics acting very thirsty.

They aren't hard to get. I see lot's of men settle for women they don't find attractive. If you want "her", make yourself attractive...bring something to the table because whether your a man or woman in the end of the day looks will eventually fade.
Thank you sir. Your post speaks truth to power.
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Old 01-30-2012, 05:19 AM
 
2,444 posts, read 3,569,655 times
Reputation: 3133
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93 View Post
You guys are sooo right! That's why there are no women who are married or in relationships. All women are single because they all want perfect men and no perfect men exist.
I only see good ooking women in relationships, very few exceptions. this is because good looking women will be approached by numerous seemingly perfect men and realize that these aren't so perfect, while those not as approached will still wander around thinking there is a perfect man.

So the good looking women get easier because they learn that they have to chose between the best set of pros/cons rather than to find someone who is completely perfect without a single shred of a weakpoint.

Men are way less picky in this fashion; most of us will look at a women and think "ok she might lack X but heck she's somewhat of an over-all hottie and can compensate for it with Y, that'll work!"
And then when the conversation has run down a few minutes we might notice a bit of a quirk, and we think "well whatever, that's not much of a biggie"
while most women seem to think "OMF**KING GOD! HE MUST BE A SERIAL KILLER/RAPIST, or at least a weirdo!"

Bottom we line is, we count on that you're gonna have flaws to begin with, while women seem to think it's the end of the world if a guys belt doesn't match his shoes the first time they meet. This goes on until first sex, and it gets normalized.

At least that's my experience, if we don't have sex as fast as possible(preferably first night or within 3 hours of meeting) she's gonna continue to probe for errors while I probe for her positives, but if we get laid it instantly normalizes and I can suddenly not doing anything that is too wrong in her eyes. Now I wouldn't say I've been with a lot of women, but it's been the EXACT same pattern with those i've struck out and those I've scored.
Women ALWAYS try to find negative stuff, and ALWAYS look at men from a pessimists perspective. It's like they're trying to squeeze the jerk out of whoever they meet...

Last edited by SwedishViking; 01-30-2012 at 05:31 AM..
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Old 01-30-2012, 06:36 AM
 
Location: Center of the universe
24,645 posts, read 38,527,044 times
Reputation: 11780
Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223 View Post
I think it has to do with not attempting to understand women. Women are actually pretty easy to understand at all times. There's not a damned thing mysterious about them. So if one approaches a woman and talks to her not as if she was a fertility goddess, but rather as a normal person, one would do a heck of a lot better.

Yup. She'll be your friend........for life.
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Old 01-30-2012, 06:54 AM
 
Location: Canada
11,756 posts, read 11,947,793 times
Reputation: 30165
Quote:
Originally Posted by Goodpasture View Post
Reminds me of the story of the guy who, after years of searching, finally found the perfect woman. She rejected him because she was looking for the perfect man.

For you youngsters out there (the under 40 crowd) NO ONE gets out of life unscathed. We all end up with saggy skin, wrinkles, gray or no hair, ailments, memory lapses. IF you want a woman (or a man) to grow old with find someone who faces life with humor and courage. Like Roseanne Barr said once "I don't want a namby pamby man with perfect hair and teeth who jump out of airplanes or climb rocks or drive race cars.......I want a real man. One who has the courage to look a 30 year mortgage in the eye and not flinch."

Find a partner who you can talk to. who shares your values. who shares your ambition. who shares your likes and dislikes. And when you lie on that bed awaiting the white horse you will have the warmth of someone who has been a partner either holding your hand or waiting on the other side. You will have lived a full and good life. But if your focus is on the size of her breasts or the perfection of her skin or the color of her hair, you will die alone because she will not be the woman of the perfect skin or breasts or hair in 10 years, let alone 50 years.

So, girls and boys, grow up...........THEN grow old.
Such a terrific post, had to repeat it.
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Old 01-30-2012, 09:19 AM
 
22,768 posts, read 30,609,873 times
Reputation: 14732
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trimac20 View Post
I can't really speak from personal experience (only internet dating really ) but I'm wondering if you've found this to be the case...

That there's no point 'limiting yourself' and sticking to girls who are 'in your league' because you think they are too good for you or because they are very attractive, let's say the top 10% of the population.

Personally, I think girls who think of themselves as attractive - which isn't always the same as actually being so - often try to play 'hard to get' or just keep themselves off-limits. A lot of rather average looking women think of themselves this way. On the other hand, it seems if you hit the right buttons it's not all that impossible to land the 'hot chick', especially if she doesn't have that attitude.

I guess my point is that maybe the whole belief that attractive women are much harder to have a relationship with isn't entirely true (and mean of course there is a basis for it). I'm not just talking exceptions, but maybe a different dynamic is going on.

What do you think?

attractive women are much more difficult to attract, and date, yes. they can be very picky.

that said, women are attracted to a wide variety of things besides looks and money. For example, you might be talking about a hot, shallow women who is just looking to screw celebrities, or underwear models who moonlight as bartenders.... or you may be talking about a hot, intelligent woman who is always looking for more esoteric traits like personality, social intelligence, character, how the guy makes her feel, etc.

The hot/shallow one might not give you a shot at all, because she doesn't see any value to a guy who isn't great-looking, high-status, or rich. The hot/intelligent one might give plenty of guys a shot (because of the complexity of what she's looking for), but then shoot nearly all of them down (because she can; there will always be more).

Last edited by le roi; 01-30-2012 at 09:34 AM..
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Old 01-30-2012, 09:55 AM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,606 posts, read 55,788,565 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by SwedishViking View Post
I only see good ooking women in relationships, very few exceptions. this is because good looking women will be approached by numerous seemingly perfect men and realize that these aren't so perfect, while those not as approached will still wander around thinking there is a perfect man.

So the good looking women get easier because they learn that they have to chose between the best set of pros/cons rather than to find someone who is completely perfect without a single shred of a weakpoint.

Men are way less picky in this fashion; most of us will look at a women and think "ok she might lack X but heck she's somewhat of an over-all hottie and can compensate for it with Y, that'll work!"
And then when the conversation has run down a few minutes we might notice a bit of a quirk, and we think "well whatever, that's not much of a biggie"
while most women seem to think "OMF**KING GOD! HE MUST BE A SERIAL KILLER/RAPIST, or at least a weirdo!"

Bottom we line is, we count on that you're gonna have flaws to begin with, while women seem to think it's the end of the world if a guys belt doesn't match his shoes the first time they meet. This goes on until first sex, and it gets normalized.

At least that's my experience, if we don't have sex as fast as possible(preferably first night or within 3 hours of meeting) she's gonna continue to probe for errors while I probe for her positives, but if we get laid it instantly normalizes and I can suddenly not doing anything that is too wrong in her eyes. Now I wouldn't say I've been with a lot of women, but it's been the EXACT same pattern with those i've struck out and those I've scored.
Women ALWAYS try to find negative stuff, and ALWAYS look at men from a pessimists perspective. It's like they're trying to squeeze the jerk out of whoever they meet...
Very well put . As for 'nice guys' being not so nice, maybe they started nice, but then they became the bitter because of how they were treated. I notice when those threads come up the guy is always told it's his fault and that he has to step up to the plate to impress the women. Although some of these nice 'guys' are simply angry at being so impotent when it comes to dating (not that kind of impotent). Either way, many women will deny that they are like this while when they are speaking among themselves the truth comes out.
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