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somebodynew, I'm just saying don't believe it to be protection if it doesn't protect everyone equally.
And I'm not saying people in open relationships are overrun with STDs, just that it heightens their risk (remembering to compare responsible non-monogamous people with responsible monogamous people, and irresponsible with irresponsible)
But getting on a plane EVERYDAY is more dangerous than getting on a plane for certain special occasions.
True. And yet I would (literally) give my left (or right, but not both) testicle to be able to fly for a living. I love airplanes, and am a private pilot.
You can sleep around without being careless about it.
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Now that's just denial.
How so?
It's literally no different. She's had sex partners before me. I'm okay with this. Her thinking about her previous sex partners do not bother me at all, as I think about previous partners as well.
True. And yet I would (literally) give my left (or right, but not both) testicle to be able to fly for a living. I love airplanes, and am a private pilot.
Well that would serve a purpose CLOSER to being worth the risk than sexual delight (you could find in one person if you really wanted to), especially considering that your life would be more in YOUR hands than someone else's
somebodynew, I'm just saying don't believe it to be protection if it doesn't protect everyone equally.
I wish you had quoted because I am not sure what you are referring to?
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And I'm not saying people in open relationships are overrun with STDs, just that it heightens their risk (remembering to compare responsible non-monogamous people with responsible monogamous people, and irresponsible with irresponsible)
I don't disagree with that. And if no risk is the only risk you are willing to assume, then don't do it. And hope your wife never cheats on you! Not trying to be mean. But that is always there, eh?
Well that would serve a purpose CLOSER to being worth the risk than sexual delight (you could find in one person if you really wanted to)
This is the main point you may be missing. You assume that there is a reason for us to "really want to". I have the best man in the world. We are not lacking in the areas of attachment, intimacy, bond or sex. We were not lacking in the area of commitment, love, caring, shared laughter. We were not lacking in any way. What would possibly motivate us to "really want to"?
I wish you had quoted because I am not sure what you are referring to?
Post #254.
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Originally Posted by somebodynew
I don't disagree with that. And if no risk is the only risk you are willing to assume, then don't do it. And hope your wife never cheats on you! Not trying to be mean. But that is always there, eh?
In terms of protecting myself physically:
No more risk here than the possibility of someone in an "open relationship" bringing an STD home. True, since it's an open relationship, the person has LESS reason to hide a new sexual encounter or lie about it. But they could still have some reason to do so.
1. Maybe it's someone that the other person doesn't like?
2. Maybe it's someone who most people wouldn't consider "f***able", a '2' that even he/she regrets ever getting with.
3. Maybe it's someone who couldn't/wasn't asked to show proof they were clean before the sexual encounter and the person went ahead and had sex with anyway. Then they decided to take their chances and (partly because they didn't want to be judged by their partner and partly because they consider it highly unlikely the other person had anything) simply not tell their partner about it.
In terms of protecting myself emotionally:
Not being able to trust your S.O. is no reason to ditch monogamy; it's reason to learn to trust your S.O. (people in general?) ...or maybe ditch your S.O.
And of course, given a certain possibility of jealousy you can't deny, people in an "open" relationship are not necessarily protecting their hearts any better. They may even stand to be dumped by TWO people instead of just one.
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Originally Posted by somebodynew
What would possibly motivate us to "really want to"?
Find enough sexual satisfaction in one person? I don't understand the question.
Find enough sexual satisfaction in one person? I don't understand the question.
And therein lies the rub. You don't understand us. We don't understand you. I don't understand why in the hell anyone would want monogamy. You don't understand why in the hell anyone wouldn't.
Perhaps, as I alluded to earlier, it's simply a preference. Just as I despise brussel sprouts, while perhaps you love them. And if you don't, someone out there does. Perhaps it's related to our spiritual maturity (or lack thereof). Perhaps it's genetic.
But do you think a brussel sprouts lover is ever going to explain to me why I should, too? Unlikely.
Similarly, if monogamy is your thing, it's unlikely you'll be talked out of it. And if it's not, ditto.
Casual sex is a myth. You remember the face. You remember the smell. You remember the hook up. You remember telling someone.etc etc
Yes, I do remember the night my wife hooked me up with a girl with no strings attatched and no feelings afterwards other than continued friendship.
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People wonder why they can't settle down. You don't fall in love, you fall into holes...
....Which is why I'm happily married and a father.
Right.
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