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Old 02-03-2012, 08:52 AM
 
2,677 posts, read 2,604,961 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dexorcist View Post
Perfect example of dysfunction. Comparing a human being to dead meat.
It's a metaphor. I'm not equivocating a living human with a dead food item, merely pointing out that variety is desireable to some.
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Old 02-03-2012, 08:56 AM
 
2,677 posts, read 2,604,961 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Oleg Bach View Post
It appears that those who have open relationships really do not love each other...if they did love one another - they would not have a need for another.
That assumes that romantic love requires sexual monogamy in all instances. That is not the case. For you, perhaps it does. For others, they could take it or leave it. Still others require (or at least desire) non-monogamy. It is what it is.
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Old 02-03-2012, 09:06 AM
 
Location: Land of Thought and Flow
8,323 posts, read 15,118,472 times
Reputation: 4956
Quote:
Originally Posted by Oleg Bach View Post
Always found these types of people creepy. A friend is not a "friend" if the relationship is based on what they can get from you - be it money or pleasure... There are young people that I know and every time they get together they smoke dope...they think they are having a good time - but TAKE the dope out of the equation and these people have nothing in common - and would not bother being "friends"
Objection. My other and I have a lot in common. You know... That's why we were friends first. Sheesh. We've known each other for... 6, 7 years?

The sex is just a bonus.

"Friend with benefits" - benefits = Friend

Even after the sex has stopped, we'll still hang out and play video games together. We'll still make costume stuffs together. We'll still do crazy shenanigans and stuff at conventions.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Oleg Bach View Post
Friendship based on vice is based in the idea that "misery love company"
> Implying that the friendship is based on vice



Well, if that's how you want to rationalize it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Oleg Bach View Post
- those in open marrages are miserable - looking for relief..through sex
I'm not miserable in the slightest.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Oleg Bach View Post
It appears that those who have open relationships really do not love each other...if they did love one another - they would not have a need for another.
"It appears that those who do not have open relationships really do not love each other. If they did love one another, they would have no need to be so controlling over their spouse."

Sounds just as silly.

It's like previously stated: Some people like brussel sprouts. Some people don't. I hate brussel sprouts (perhaps there is a link between hating brussel sprouts and being in an open relationship). Some people love them. Neither side is right. Neither side is wrong.

What is wrong, is to demean a group of people that you don't even take the chance to understand based upon a life choice that neither affects you nor hurts them. Perhaps it's a psychological thing - you know, where people push the insecurities or downfalls of their own existence onto somebody who has it better?

Perhaps it's that so many monogamous people here are jealous that while they only get to look at the menu, couples like us get all the free samples we want.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Prairieparson View Post
To the OP. Well let's take this idea to its logical conclusion. Lets say you marry a hooker or a sex addict who has no control and will rip one off with whoever, whenever whereever. Will being married to such a person make your relationship stronger?? I doubt it. Not to many people want to marry people like this, so I guess that answers the question.
So being in an open relationship automagically means that one or both parties is a hooker or sex addict? And there's no control?

Quite a number of fallacies in that statement. Hasty generalization, appeal to ridicule, strawman, etc.

*shrug* But at least hookers have the best boots.

Protip: People in open relationships have rules. They don't just plug any hole that comes their way or let their hole(s) get plugged by any extension cord that comes their way.
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Old 02-03-2012, 09:23 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gallowsCalibrator View Post
> Implying that the friendship is based on vice
Implying sex is a vice.
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Old 02-03-2012, 09:28 AM
 
Location: Land of Thought and Flow
8,323 posts, read 15,118,472 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
Implying sex is a vice.
True.
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Old 02-03-2012, 09:35 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
Implying sex is a vice.
You beat me to it lol...
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Old 02-08-2012, 05:50 PM
 
Location: USA
30,391 posts, read 21,627,876 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
Implying sex is a vice.
Absolutely Sex is no vice and beware of those who try to vilify it with guilt!
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Old 02-08-2012, 05:52 PM
 
14,294 posts, read 13,117,666 times
Reputation: 17797
Quote:
Originally Posted by gallowsCalibrator View Post
*shrug* But at least hookers have the best boots.
Hey now. I have never been paid. And I have a number of pairs of really sweet boots.
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Old 02-08-2012, 09:02 PM
 
Location: Central Florida
973 posts, read 1,699,611 times
Reputation: 1110
Quote:
Originally Posted by DentalFloss View Post
What is the purpose of sexual faithfulness?

The root cause is twofold. Certainty about paternity, and fear of loss (of the relationship). Since swingers aren't generally trying to get pregnant, multiple forms of birth control are typical, so that's a nonissue. Successful swingers (as I've said repeatedly it's not for everyone) understand that sex is just sex and doesn't imply love or relationship.

Not everyone feels that way, and that's okay. But there's no sexual act you could perform, even if you were literally the most gifted humper in the history of humanity that's going to change the fact that when the party's over, my wife is going home with me.
Haven't read the whole thread, but I suspect that the statement that I bolded is mainly the root of this debate. I think if people view sex as just a "pleasurable physical act" then they have no problem with open relationships as they have separated the "act" from the "heart" and those implications surrounding it. However, I know for me, the sexual act is more than just physical, it is emotional and spiritual and due to those facts, I can only give the most precious thing I own, my body, to someone whom I love and trust and who feels the same way about it as I do (or pretty darn close!)
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Old 02-08-2012, 11:52 PM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,606 posts, read 55,756,157 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sagitarrius48 View Post
Haven't read the whole thread, but I suspect that the statement that I bolded is mainly the root of this debate. I think if people view sex as just a "pleasurable physical act" then they have no problem with open relationships as they have separated the "act" from the "heart" and those implications surrounding it. However, I know for me, the sexual act is more than just physical, it is emotional and spiritual and due to those facts, I can only give the most precious thing I own, my body, to someone whom I love and trust and who feels the same way about it as I do (or pretty darn close!)
Very good post, Saggy! It's not a right or wrong thing (unless your religion says so), but a personal decision.

For those who condemn (on either side), live and let live.
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