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My fiance's ex-wife lives in Columbus and she has taken custody of said fiance's niece's baby last year and now shes planning a first birthday party for her.
How do I get out of going to this event knowing that it is going to be on a Saturday (the 18th specifically) ? I can';t plead a doctor's or dentists appointment on a Saturday. I'm not interested in the ex wife nor am I interested in spending four or five hours with her clan. Besides the party is going to be in Columbus and that's a two hour drive each way. It just seems like a waste of time.
I can plead sick if I have a good plan to become so, also since I do work on Saturdays from time to time, I probably will come up with a work related engagement if nothing else.
Can I discourage my fiance from attending too? He claims this is his niece and he will probably say he has a right to see her/and the other members of the bunch.
Right now I have hidden the invite in a drawer, but some strategies that look plausible to avoid this event would be greatly appreciated.
This is my fiance and were supposed to be getting married in April. Why does he need to go to a oarty where the EX will be present even if she has custody of his nieces child?
Honesty is the best policy, tell your fiance that you are not comfortable being in the company of his ex-wife and her family and you prefer to stay home and you hope he enjoys the party and to drive safely.
When you RSVP, you say "I'm sorry, I can't make it." You don't need to give anyone a complicated explanation.
Exactly. But here's another thing. Why do YOU have to go also? I don't think your fiance` should not see his niece and so what if it's his ex? She was thoughful enough to invite him. Let the choice be HIS if he wants to go or not but you certainly don't have to go.
My fiance's ex-wife lives in Columbus and she has taken custody of said fiance's niece's baby last year and now shes planning a first birthday party for her.
How do I get out of going to this event knowing that it is going to be on a Saturday (the 18th specifically) ? I can';t plead a doctor's or dentists appointment on a Saturday. I'm not interested in the ex wife nor am I interested in spending four or five hours with her clan. Besides the party is going to be in Columbus and that's a two hour drive each way. It just seems like a waste of time.
I can plead sick if I have a good plan to become so, also since I do work on Saturdays from time to time, I probably will come up with a work related engagement if nothing else.
Can I discourage my fiance from attending too? He claims this is his niece and he will probably say he has a right to see her/and the other members of the bunch.
Right now I have hidden the invite in a drawer, but some strategies that look plausible to avoid this event would be greatly appreciated.
This is my fiance and were supposed to be getting married in April. Why does he need to go to a oarty where the EX will be present even if she has custody of his nieces child?
Why can't you just be honest? It's what adults in mature relationships do
Simply say, honey, if you really want to go that's fine, but I'd rather watch paint dry and just have no desire to be there. So while you make the trip I think I'll catch up on my laundry.
And don't even make the mistake of trying to keep him from going if it's what he really wants to do.
Last edited by lovesMountains; 02-01-2012 at 10:39 AM..
Reason: spelling
My fiance's ex-wife lives in Columbus and she has taken custody of said fiance's niece's baby last year and now shes planning a first birthday party for her.
How do I get out of going to this event knowing that it is going to be on a Saturday (the 18th specifically) ? I can';t plead a doctor's or dentists appointment on a Saturday. I'm not interested in the ex wife nor am I interested in spending four or five hours with her clan. Besides the party is going to be in Columbus and that's a two hour drive each way. It just seems like a waste of time.
I can plead sick if I have a good plan to become so, also since I do work on Saturdays from time to time, I probably will come up with a work related engagement if nothing else.
Can I discourage my fiance from attending too? He claims this is his niece and he will probably say he has a right to see her/and the other members of the bunch.
Right now I have hidden the invite in a drawer, but some strategies that look plausible to avoid this event would be greatly appreciated.
This is my fiance and were supposed to be getting married in April. Why does he need to go to a oarty where the EX will be present even if she has custody of his nieces child?
Be an adult and suck it up already.
First, are you kidding me about discouraging him to go? Are you clueless? Never get between a SO and his/her family. He will resent you for it and they will undermine you. What's more, he's trying to do an important thing and integrate you into the family. You need to respect that and invest a day of your life doing it. It will pay big dividends later. By sending you an invitation, the woman extended an olive branch and you need to understand what the gesture means.
Second, the fact that you actually hid the invitation in a drawer says a great deal about your character. If I had known that my fiancee had pulled that kind of underhanded, deceitful nonsense with me, I would have cancelled the engagement right then and there. What's more, based on your working through plausible excuses, it sounds as if you lie without compunction. If I were him and discovered all this, you would have provided me a glimpse of the manipulative crap you'd pull with me for the rest of our lives together.
I think you really need to read your OP in an objective way and realize how creepy and self-absorbed it sounds.
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Pretty much what everyone else says. It seems like when you have a problem you think of a 'scheme' to solve it. That way leads to just more problems. Lies multiply like rabbits.
"I'm sorry, it's simply not a good time for me, but hope you and your little one have a wonderful day" and maybe send a card for the baby. Or maybe some storybooks and a card.
She may also be thinking what you're thinking to and felt she had to invite you out of some sort of obligation, but really could care less.
It has all been said. Tell your fiance that if he would like to go, then that is fine, but you are not comfortable going to a party which your ex is attending.
He should not have to avoid seeing his niece because of her, but should also respect your wishes to not hang out with his ex wife too.
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Why must you see her at all?
