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My son's g/f (two years so far) is 15 years older than him. I don't see the age difference. They're so cute together. I just love her.
Thats good for them. I honestly dont think people are ridiculing relationships like the one you've described. People are simply expressing what their personal preference is/was.
As a younger man I would not have; I wanted children and someone that much older than me probably would not have been a good candidate. If I were on a second marriage, I would consider it. A friend who is 5 years older than me sent me a note recently and told me that if I ever got divorced, she'd marry me. I told her I'd let her know if/when that happens.
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Percentage
Thats good for them. I honestly dont think people are ridiculing relationships like the one you've described. People are simply expressing what their personal preference is/was.
Well I dated a woman that was 9 years older than me. She was 40 and I was 31. And she was an awesome woman. But to be honest the age was an issue to some extent. It wasnt so much an issue as far as having things in common went. We actually got along pretty well.
But it was a hang up for her and I had my doubts about her aging. I felt that in a few years it would be an issue because she would look older than me. Thats not why I ended it but it was an issue.
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 19,945,126 times
Reputation: 9417
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ameribull
Well I dated a woman that was 9 years older than me. She was 40 and I was 31. And she was an awesome woman. But to be honest the age was an issue to some extent. It wasnt so much an issue as far as having things in common went. We actually got along pretty well.
But it was a hang up for her and I had my doubts about her aging. I felt that in a few years it would be an issue because she would look older than me. Thats not why I ended it but it was an issue.
But it wouldn't be but a few years and you'd have caught up with her--guaranteed. LOL
My husband is 11 years younger than me, and the age difference was a serious consideration when we decided to get married. I was 38 and he was 27 when we met. Most of our friends were in their early 30s and we both made some assumptions that our ages were closer than they actually were. We already liked each other before we realized there was a large gap. There were some serious issues we had to decide:
Kids - At age 38 kids are now or never. Neither of us wanted them but I was concerned he would start wanting them later when it was too late for me. He convinced me there were genetic reasons for him to never have kids so he wouldn't change his mind (so far he hasn't). Otherwise this may have been a deal-breaker
Family/friends - we were worried about acceptance by family and friends. My family felt that he was a grown man so it was OK. He was worried about his parents but they turned out to be very supportive and accepting once they met me. It helps that they are still 20 years older than me so we can still do the MIL/DIL thing.
Aging - this one we will just have to wait and see. I had planned to just age gracefully but I do feel like I should do more to keep myself in shape. So I joined a gym and get my hair done regularly. I expect eventually I will look into things like microdermabrasion. He is in great shape, so that kind of keeps the standard up for where I would like myself to be.
Money/retirement - We are having to put away extra money for retirement so he can retire earlier, closer to when I retire.
So far we haven't run into any other problems than these ones which we discussed in a lot of depth before we married.
My husband is 11 years younger than me, and the age difference was a serious consideration when we decided to get married. I was 38 and he was 27 when we met. Most of our friends were in their early 30s and we both made some assumptions that our ages were closer than they actually were. We already liked each other before we realized there was a large gap. There were some serious issues we had to decide:
Kids - At age 38 kids are now or never. Neither of us wanted them but I was concerned he would start wanting them later when it was too late for me. He convinced me there were genetic reasons for him to never have kids so he wouldn't change his mind (so far he hasn't). Otherwise this may have been a deal-breaker
Family/friends - we were worried about acceptance by family and friends. My family felt that he was a grown man so it was OK. He was worried about his parents but they turned out to be very supportive and accepting once they met me. It helps that they are still 20 years older than me so we can still do the MIL/DIL thing.
Aging - this one we will just have to wait and see. I had planned to just age gracefully but I do feel like I should do more to keep myself in shape. So I joined a gym and get my hair done regularly. I expect eventually I will look into things like microdermabrasion. He is in great shape, so that kind of keeps the standard up for where I would like myself to be.
Money/retirement - We are having to put away extra money for retirement so he can retire earlier, closer to when I retire.
So far we haven't run into any other problems than these ones which we discussed in a lot of depth before we married.
The bolded would be my biggest problem if I were in a similar situation. Thanks for sharing. Good to hear of another situation that works given the age gap.
The bolded would be my biggest problem if I were in a similar situation. Thanks for sharing. Good to hear of another situation that works given the age gap.
I agree that is the biggest issue. You can look as young and fit as you want, but your eggs are still getting older and the chance of Down's Syndrome is going up every year. All those movie stars in their mid 40's with new babies aren't saying how much they spent on procedures and what they had to go through to get them.
I would think it could also work for a couple if the man had already had children in a previous relationship and didn't want more. I would just be hesitant with a man that didn't have kids but was still in the prime years to want them.
Men how do you feel about older women? Would you date, even marry a woman 10 years older than you? 15 years older than you? Whats your limit?
Ladies - would you date, marry a man 10 years YOUNGER than you? 15 years? What is YOUR limit? Do you think it is all just a number and if the chemistry is right than age doesn't mater? Or do you believe it is essential to stay within an age range despite chemistry or love.
I think we're all better off to marry within 10 years of our own age. Otherwise there's the added issue of a generational difference. The age of marriage matters too--18 and 28 are really far apart, but 45 and 55 isn't as bad. I might have chemistry or love for someone 20 years older but in the the long run it is wiser not to marry someone that much older; chemistry and love aren't enough.
I would not marry a man 10 or 15 years younger than me, obviously. Maybe my mind will change when I'm in my 50s but I don't think so.
Age difference is a relationship issue about which I am the least open-minded. Race, color, country, education, height, weight, and even religion are all factors I can work around, but not age.
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