Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
So how does this work with the other person/people involved? What of their feelings? Do they consider it a relationship or what?
Most successful swingers see sex the way you might see golf or tennis. Something that's fun to do, but not something that necessarily has anything to do with emotions. Generally, love cannot exist without sex, the other way around is easy.
Have there been instances of swingers falling in love with their playmates? Probably. Almost certainly. But I've never personally seen or heard of it, so it appears it's rare.
That doesn't mean it's emotionless. Some of our playmates have become very, very close friends whom we love very much. But that's something different.
Okay. So open relationship is the same as swingers? That's where I was confused. I thought it was two separate things.
Not experienced with either, but I think swingers typically stick to other swinger couples, where in open relationships one of them can go out and bring someone home for them to fool around with.
Okay. So open relationship is the same as swingers? That's where I was confused. I thought it was two separate things.
Yes, and at the same time, no.
My wife and I are swingers, and we play together for the most part. By that I mean we go to the same parties, and tend to play together in the same room at the same time, but as long as we're both there, pretty much anything goes while at the party.
We do not play separately, meaning if we're on a business trip alone, it's a no go. That may change some day, but not yet.
OTOH, most people define 'open relationship' as anything goes, at anytime, with any person. For that reason, I never considered our relationship to be an 'open relationship'.
But then I realized a relationship is either closed (monogamous) or it's not. So ours is 'open', but perhaps not in the way the term is commonly used.
Most successful swingers see sex the way you might see golf or tennis. Something that's fun to do, but not something that necessarily has anything to do with emotions. Generally, love cannot exist without sex, the other way around is easy.
Have there been instances of swingers falling in love with their playmates? Probably. Almost certainly. But I've never personally seen or heard of it, so it appears it's rare.
It happens. The poly boards have folk on them that find them selves accidentalyl poly after this sort of thing.
Quote:
That doesn't mean it's emotionless. Some of our playmates have become very, very close friends whom we love very much. But that's something different.
It's still way to perverted for me. I saw a true crime episode the other day where a couple were doing this. Then the women falls in love with one of her partners (not her husband). She developed feelings for him. Started seeing him on the side. Lost interest in sex with her real husband. Then convinced her daughter to kill her husband for insurance money and to be with the other guy. She fell in love with one of the swingers. However, the one she fell in love with had no desire to leave his own family/wife for her. He was just using her. His wife didn't even know about his extra marital affairs.. Was not the daughters biological husband (stepfather) but still. Just saying. I know that's a bit bizzare, but so isn't the whole scenario..Some cans just shouldn't be open.
I heard a story once of a guy who shot up a coffee shop because he was a disgruntled employee. Shall I avoid Starbucks?
There are always going to be problems with any form of relationship. Even monogamous married folk hire hit men on each other for insurance scams and other B.S. I would hardly consider this a "danger" of an open relationship.
Valid dangers are:
1. STD's (which is arguable because a cheating husband of wife could be even less careful)
2. Emotional Attachment (most open couples however are very comfortable with what they are doing. If both parties aren't 100%, this is where trouble can start)
3. Physical harm/ Stalkers (again, most people in an open relationship only like to hook up with other married couples. This avoids any emotional attachment and/or potential stalkers from the single partner)
I seem to be coming off as an advocate of OR's. However, I am not. I just want to share the knowledge that it can be done safely.
There is a thread about open relationships. Which led me to think about another question. What if right now your significant other asked you about having an open relationship? Where would you stand on it. What would you do if your partner approached you with this idea. This can be a new partner (someone you just started dating) or someone you've been married too for many years. How would them asking that question effect your relationship? Or would it effect your relationship?
Your thoughts please.
For us, the conversation started after watching a movie together. I can't remember which one because it's been years. There was an open relationship in the movie and since we normally discuss movies and things that go on, we touched the topic and questioned if we were capable of living like that.
So we kinda shrugged and decided to give it a shot with the agreement that if either party felt uncomfortable, that we would go back to being monogamous.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Red On The Noodle
So how does this work with the other person/people involved? What of their feelings? Do they consider it a relationship or what?
It depends on the other. My other is a close friend, while my husband's other is his girlfriend. They're both relationships. I have no problem hanging out with my husband and his girlfriend, just as he has no problem hanging out with me and my other. We're all friends.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
