newlywed found husband has been look for girls on Craiglist (young, family)
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Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AJBarney
You already didn't trust him when you went digging into his email.
Jus sayin'
Something told her something isn't right. Always---Always--trust your instincts. I'd expect as much from my man, if he felt something wasn't right, find out for yourself. I'd have no right to get pissy if he was right.
This guy is Scum. You need to get out of there ASAP. If I were you I would call my parents and offer up an apology. I would admitt my wrong doing and cave in. Family are ALWAYS going to be there for you. You made a mistake with trusting this guy, but it sounds to me like he made the ultimate mistake of losing you.
You seem like a good person, so don't let this ruin you. Re-take the Bar Exam and kickstart your career. Someday you will find the one you were meant for.
P.S Stop making excuses for yourself to stay with him.
"I never wanted to abandon someone when he was diagnosed with cancer", good riddance. His "love" for you doesn't exist.
"I will stay with him for better or for worse", this ship is sinking, you either go down with it, or you come out alive, your choice.
"People from my culture will certainly give me attitudes", these people are going to think less of you when your miserable, poor, and lacking a faithful loving husband.
"I came from a very old fashioned family where we sort out our troubles through talks instead of divorces", this guy will not respond to a discussion. Once a cheater, always a cheater. He is not somebody who should be in a monogamous relationship.
"I really thought those problems would only be temporary because he kept telling me he didn't know my boundary and then he did through the mistakes he made, and that he's a human and humans make mistakes etc." Seriously? You believe this? When he said his vows, there is usually something about being "FAITHFUL" in them. Everyone knows the boundary's of marriage.
Last edited by ChiGuy2.5; 02-03-2012 at 08:24 AM..
You made a mistake. You're not the first and you won't be the last. Cut your losses now, unless you want to waste more of your finite time on the planet, and get out of this mess. This guy is no good.
It has been a couple hours since I last posted and the same thing is STILL happening with this one. She is STILL making excuses for this loser and I just read part of the old post from 2010.
She will be back here in a few months whining about the same issue except next time she will be saying she is pregnant which will make things worse but it will provide her with MORE EXCUSES to use for not leaving this loser.
It has been a couple hours since I last posted and the same thing is STILL happening with this one. She is STILL making excuses for this loser and I just read part of the old post from 2010.
She will be back here in a few months whining about the same issue except next time she will be saying she is pregnant which will make things worse but it will provide her with MORE EXCUSES to use for not leaving this loser.
She sounds quite pathetic unfortunately. Harsh words, but true. Usually I give people the benefit of the doubt, but this women is just ridiculous. I almost wonder if she is just doing this for the attention.
His mother has been educating me the whole time that we are married now, he made a vow to be with me, what happened on Craiglist was the past and was before we were married.
Even if it is true that he stopped doing it after we were married, and that he's never physically gone out with any of those girls - how would people in this country react normally? I'm a new immigrant and based on all the mess we made, I certainly haven't learned enough of this culture to know what the standard for a dating couple is.....
Of course his mamma has been "educating" you...he's her son...her "educating" probably involves making YOU feel guilty about the doubts and regrets you are now having about marrying a man who cheats....how do you, or his mother know that he's never been out with "any of those girls". You don't...you can only rely on the assurances of a man whose proved himself repeatably as a liar......your marriage is a fraud...this man IS using you...for your money...for your intelligence...and because he probably knows that because of your culture you'll probably not leave him......Every woman deserves a man who will be true, and faithful...something he's definately not.....I wouldn't think twice about divorcing him (unless you're into sharing him)...and I'd definately put my own happiness and welfare above the opinions or thoughts of others, no matter WHAT cultural background they come from.....a cheater IS a cheater...why make excuses for it...it is what it is.....if you think his infidelities hurt now....you'd better harden up as the chances that he'll EVER change are HIGHLY doubtful...good luck...I hope you do what's right for YOU, and don't cave in to cultural expectations, and a mother who's no doubt got blinders on to her sons lack of fidelity, compassion,and respect for the one he supposedly loves.
I will talk to him to sign the divorce paper. I don't see how I can forgive someone like this.
Lets hope you stick with that thought....forget the talk, he'll only try to talk you out of it...just MAKE him sign it, and look forward to your happier life......
As you kids say, 'drop it' like it's hot". Pick up your life, family self esteem and you won't remember his name in 10 years but will be highly successful, happy and thriving in the path your life originally laid out for you. We all make mistakes and sometimes the train jumps the tracks entirely. At least there are no casualties at this point. Cut your losses and become a much better person than you would be in this environment. That is a Mom speech that I'd give my own daughter. uote=Ami*imA;22827223]Hey guys,
I'm not sure whether this is considered common but I just got married 29 days ago. Today I was playing with my husband's cellphone and noticed he has a different email account that he normally checks in front of me. Out of curiosity, I checked the emails he sent to others and my whole body started to shake when I read those emails.
We moved in together in early June, 2011. At the time I was preparing for the California bar exam, but I was also told that he was involved with a child custody case with his ex girlfriend. The bar exam was stressful, and learning about him having a son was just shocking. But above all the emotions I had, I chose my boyfriend as my priority and tried to help him with his case first. I stayed up late at night sometimes until 3-4am writing motions, and had my lawyer friend go to court to defend my boyfriend. He won the case, but I failed the bar. His whole family treated me like his savior at the time, and his mom told him "you better treat this girl really well".
Despite the discouraging fact that I failed the bar, I was referred to a big law firm in California by my father's friend who was a partner at another law firm. In order to stay with my boyfriend, I gave up my opportunities in California and decided to stay in Texas.
A month ago, we got married. While I was playing with his cellphone yesterday, I noticed a email account that he's never used in front of me. Out of curiosity, I check the emails he sent in that account and my body started to shake the second I read those emails. He has been emailing girls picturs of his body on Craiglist, from the beginning when we first moved in together, to the time I was staying up late at night to help him with his case, until...I don't know how long it lasted. He used very graphic words and called those girls "babe, sexy, gorgeous" all the time. In one email, he wrote "I got six packs. Wanna come over to my place sexy?"
I am just so disgusted by it now - the time I left for California to take the bar exam, he was asking some girl from Craiglist to come over to sleep on the bed that I was paying rent for??!! I started to yell and totally lost control, I told him and his mother that I wanted to have a divorce because I can't trust someone like that. He told me he didn't actually go meet those girls, and the reason he was on Craiglist was because he felt everything between us was moving too fast and he felt freaked out. He said his past relationships all fell apart when things got serious and he just wanted to make sure he was not trapped by being with me at the time.
I really don't know what to do right now, given the fact that (1) I just got married and had never thought about divorce; (2) my parents cut me off because of him. now I'm having a hard time, I have nobody to talk to; (3) He had done something similar in the past that I caught him doing - we fought for a long time, he apologized for it and promised it wouldn't happen again. But it still happened again.
I'm new to the marriage thing and I thought I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with this person. But I can't trust him anymore. Calling another woman sexy/baby and ask for their pictures when he was with me? Just the thought of having sex with him in the future makes me sick.
UM, how about ANNULMENT? Seems to me this would be a fraud case. Get a good lawyer and GET OUT, however you do it.
And for crying out loud, PAY ATTENTION TO RED FLAGS NEXT TIME.
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