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If you know she is toxic for you and this is not the first time she has played a "joke" on you why are you still with her?
I would rather not know anyone than spend time with this heartless woman.
I really did love her ....I always try to find something good in everyone. My brother told me before he passed..."You have been so guarded all of your life, never have given yourself the chance to fall in love...You're smart...take chances with your heart sometime...you'll bounce back...just remember if you don't ...just remember you may be protecting yourself but you're also stop yourself from expeircing real love." Bottom line I'm not a week person, she just caught me at one of the most vulnerable times in my life. I've learn due to my past drug use (14 years ago) that had just one person showed that they trully cared about my self destructive behavior I would have cleaned up alot sooner because the first person who did....I had already given up all the hard stuff on my own...by the time that person came I only had minor things ...like weed, just because the one women at that present time showed she cared it supported a life decision I have stuck too....I know I was just trying to be THAT PERSON to her.
If you LIKE this sort of attention and Sturm und Drang relationship, because you think it means passion and love, well, then why are you complaining? I know lots of men and women who seek out drama, demand it from their relationships, don't want love and mutual respect, simply because the drama makes them feel necessary and alive. Their choice.
If you don't like it and think that there must be something better, dump her. Do not return her calls or texts, do not respond to her at all. Be done, and look for something better - or spend some time thinking about why you would waste one day, much less a year, with someone who loves to play these sorts of games. Assess yourself and your desires, what you really want and don't want in a relationship, and take your time deciding what is right for you.
Thank you so much, I don't know if you all can see all my responses since I'm so new to this, I know exactly everything you are saying is true...No I do not seek out drama, I was living in another state for seven years...I came back home to this and remembered fast why I left...it was family that brought me back and a chain reactions of deaths...Trust me I think just the way you do, all I can say it was the most vulnerable time in my life...I'm building my strength and done with trying to give chances. I actually just reconnected with the a handful of friends Chirtmas Eve who does not have this sort of drama in there life...I prayed and all of those who I've ran into since I'm back home who are toxic I have cut ties with ...she was the last one! Wish me luck....I called a women who I have been friends with for over 21 years, we both have had an interstest in one another but have always been affraid to go there, she heard what was going on, she was here with in two hours with an hour drive alone. She is beautiful inside and out...all this only took place because I lost touch with her and the people I should have turn to during such a rough time...My toxic friend lives 5 minutes away...all the people that are good for my me and my daughters life lives an hour or more. None of them had any idea this was going on, I shut down after the 3 deaths in my family, with lots of prayers reminding myself that children dont always do as we say they do as we do....I assure this will/is a thing of the past!
OP hysterically overreacts, drives his car one day after surgery, makes a huge scene outside her house and is now making a huge drama on here.
And not one poster on here thinks there's something wrong with the OP's behaviour in this scenario ?
Not one respondent thinks that this poster shows what could be construed as almost psycopathic determination to sort her and the situation, willing to put his life and others at risk because he didn't find it funny?
I bet if the girlfriend had posted her side, we'd all be telling her to call the police, get restraining orders etc.
OP, you appear to have some issues, please tell me you're seeking some sort of counselling, right ?
This sort of reaction just isn't normal
OP hysterically overreacts, drives his car one day after surgery, makes a huge scene outside her house and is now making a huge drama on here.
And not one poster on here thinks there's something wrong with the OP's behaviour in this scenario ?
Not one respondent thinks that this poster shows what could be construed as almost psycopathic determination to sort her and the situation, willing to put his life and others at risk because he didn't find it funny?
I bet if the girlfriend had posted her side, we'd all be telling her to call the police, get restraining orders etc.
OP, you appear to have some issues, please tell me you're seeking some sort of counselling, right ?
This sort of reaction just isn't normal
You are right if you really understood all of the details...What I'm guilty of is falling week to my heart and being a dumb ass one more time trying to fix someone. Took me a while to realize if someone needs that much fixing what do you really love about them, or do you love the person you want them to be.
Like Granny somewhat said on here...Me: yeah, but she told me she was like this when we first met///Granny: Blah, blah,blah...that is exactly what I needed to hear...Get the hell over it , except that she lied you she her for who she is , you stick around anylonger your the dumb ass...
I'm totally with Granny on here...this is just the way my life was becoming,(drama,all the time because I was allowing it) do I go and look for this sort of drama? NO . I met her during one of the hardest times of my life losing a sister and cousing to drug over doses and a father who had a heart attack due to all this stress. I open doors where I normaly would never have but damn it, enough excuses almost two years of the same drama just a little different each time.
Not angry anymore I can get straight to the point. Met her ...few months later told me she had HPV ten years prior. Not knowing enough about it we made a decision untell she went to a Doctor to get answers of what risk I may be taken sex would be very limited. Right around two years later after pulling numerous stunts that resorted around drugs, doing embarrassing things that displayed absolutly no couth what so ever and had her go on ehow and read before I would speak to her again on "How to spot an Emotional Manipulator" even she was surprised ALL 5 things listed is things that she does. (She called back, shocked saying she didn't realize this is what she was doing) then to do a prank about an STD on me when ten years prior she had one pushed me over the line.
That was just straight up cruel especially when I was fresh out of the hospital having a hard time comprehending exactly what was going on in the first place.
I wish she could tell you all exactly how it was, I've begged her to make a list of the things that I've done months ago so I could work on them...What I'm guilty of : after the 4 time of pulling things that could jeapordize my license the way I would react to things was not calm nor good. The only thing she could really say is look how you get when we have disagreements...She is right, I NO longer have patients for someone who is going to jeapordize everthing I've got and expect that I'm sorry is going to fix it until the next time. The next timessss have ran out.
Thank you too for your input. Sad that this has been more theraputic than my counselor.
Second day I was home from the hospital enduring the 3rd surgery on my leg, my girlfriend sent a text saying I needed to call this number someone called asking for me and it didn't sound like a bill collector. She gave me a name and said I needed to call this number asap!
I did, and a recording came one saying It was Mid Towne Health Clinic that I needed to call back in the morning for more information regaurding my name came up on someones list that had Multiple STD's. First thing that came to mind was "Oh no, I have to tell her so she can try to protect herself. My mind started racing, she wouldn't answer the phone or any of my text. I suppose before she did this cruel joke, she forgot the reason I did not participate fully in a few sexual acts is because she informed me 10 years ago she contracted HPV,we both agreed I needed to learn more about HPV and the risk I could be taken. Lucky for her and me the type she had was gone or lied very dormant after two years. Yet we have still taken precautions even after she told me she tested clear.
Now, while first keeping that in mind. Fact is I use to care for someone who had full blown AIDS, as well as 14 years ago I used drugs intravenously (been clean that long but I'm still not the type to take for granted it couldn't happen to me) being in the medical field and knowing not all things are always sexually transmitted sexually I really had no fears considering for almost two years she had been the only person I've been with.
I told her about all of my checkered passed making her aware due to my job, having a child, and any sexual partner in the past 14 years I felt it was only fair I have myself tested every year to every two years for at least 15 years. So far and plan to keep it that way perfect bill of health.
With this being said, I was just tested for everything two days prior while I was in the hospital, she is one lots of my medical and some personal paper work so for someone to call her wasn't totally unusual.
My brain still quite foggy from pain meds on top of the fact I don't react well to anistisia she allowed 35 minutes to go by before I figured it out by thinking to myself this is not standard procedure for this type of thing. Then listen to the recording 4 more times considering she wasn't answering my calls to see if I could get any clues or additional information by the area code of the number if this were true who could it be.
For me it could have stayed a joke had she called me immediatly and told me it was a joke ....(still, truly its no way to joke) So upset and confused I got out of my house drove after only a day home from surgery went to her house yelled from downstairs to please come out so we could talk ..still no response so I went up TWO flights of stairs to find out why a whole hour has now gone by and still no call to explain this...She said her phone went dead...I told her that was a cruel, sick joke considering what she made me aware of when we first started dating along with the other things Ive stated. I feel once she noticed the phone went dead she should have came to my house allowing me to know it was all a joke.
PLEASE EVERYONE STATE YOUR OPINION ON THIS, SHE YELLED AT ME THINKING A SIMPLE SORRY WAS GOING TO CUT IT. This in not the first time she has had NO reguard for my feelings. After having sobirty for 14 years she has brought drugs into our lives and we have been constantly on the outs for that alone..I lost my sister to a drug over dose just the year before which she knew...I've always tried to take the extra mile and stand by a person as long as I thought they were trying but I have reached my end...No I'm not stuck on stupid ...she lied about her sobrity..
How would any of you handle this ....and do you think what is now a day later I'm wrong for still being so angry? ...I know she is Toxic for me, what is a person to do when they moved to a town where they don't exactly know anyone but her, and we are still connected by certain financial ties?
HELP....ALL OPINIONS CONSIDERED AND APPRECIATED. Trying to follow my head and not my heart! I am smart enough that she DOES NOT LIVE WITH ME!
The pain meds have clouded your thinking, the STD was a joke call, don't give it another thought.
You can be tested for HPV and there are vacines for men and women.
Sobriety.... yours, hers, or both of you? If shes affecting yours, you might want to clear up those financial ties and end the toxic relationship.
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