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Old 02-12-2012, 03:14 PM
 
Location: PA/NJ
4,045 posts, read 4,430,733 times
Reputation: 3063

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As Valentine's Day approaches it sadly reminds me of the rut I've been in for 9 years now! We met the year before but I moved in V-Day 2003 and it pretty much been the same back and forth since then!...
Anyway fast forward to present day,she doesn't seem to want me around much except for the chores basically. And whenever I've brought this up she'll claim different but her actions say otherwise. And to add insult to injury she seems to like to do little things to add fuel to the fire so when I blow up she steps back in surprise...what an idiot. I'm tired of this.

 
Old 02-12-2012, 03:25 PM
 
Location: Southern California
15,080 posts, read 20,474,184 times
Reputation: 10343
Quote:
Originally Posted by Truth11 View Post
As Valentine's Day approaches it sadly reminds me of the rut I've been in for 9 years now! We met the year before but I moved in V-Day 2003 and it pretty much been the same back and forth since then!...
Anyway fast forward to present day,she doesn't seem to want me around much except for the chores basically. And whenever I've brought this up she'll claim different but her actions say otherwise. And to add insult to injury she seems to like to do little things to add fuel to the fire so when I blow up she steps back in surprise...what an idiot. I'm tired of this.
Are you married? Children? What's holding you back?

[fear of being alone?]
 
Old 02-12-2012, 03:33 PM
 
15,714 posts, read 21,070,743 times
Reputation: 12818
I'm wondering the same thing, what is holding you back? Fear of the unknown? Fear that you will be alone? Kids?

If you are this miserable, why are you still married?
 
Old 02-12-2012, 03:35 PM
 
Location: PA/NJ
4,045 posts, read 4,430,733 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MIKEETC View Post
Are you married? Children? What's holding you back?

[fear of being alone?]
Oh hell no,I'm used to being alone....I think that's part of the problem,we're too independent. Yes been married for almost 7 years now and no children other than an 'inherited' stepson,which is another facet of the issue...being a step parent is a no win situation here^
 
Old 02-12-2012, 03:36 PM
 
Location: Pa
42,763 posts, read 52,860,632 times
Reputation: 25362
Counseling? My mom told me one thing about relationships, you should be happy to see your SO. Not fighting and bickering.
 
Old 02-12-2012, 03:36 PM
 
Location: PA/NJ
4,045 posts, read 4,430,733 times
Reputation: 3063
Quote:
Originally Posted by justthe6ofus View Post
I'm wondering the same thing, what is holding you back? Fear of the unknown? Fear that you will be alone? Kids?

If you are this miserable, why are you still married?
In a nutshell,guilt...
 
Old 02-12-2012, 03:37 PM
 
Location: PA/NJ
4,045 posts, read 4,430,733 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Raena77 View Post
Counseling? My mom told me one thing about relationships, you should be happy to see your SO. Not fighting and bickering.
She won't do counseling,I think because the therapist would most likely take my(the logical) side^
 
Old 02-12-2012, 03:39 PM
 
15,714 posts, read 21,070,743 times
Reputation: 12818
Guilt?

Care to expand on that?

Do you feel guilty pursuing your own happiness?
 
Old 02-12-2012, 03:57 PM
 
Location: PA/NJ
4,045 posts, read 4,430,733 times
Reputation: 3063
Quote:
Originally Posted by justthe6ofus View Post
Guilt?

Care to expand on that?
I feel guilty as I head towards the door and she turns on the tears,I think it must be a mental thing...she doesn't realize what she's done until it's nearly too late^
 
Old 02-12-2012, 03:58 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,217 posts, read 100,729,092 times
Reputation: 40199
Quote:
Originally Posted by Truth11 View Post
As Valentine's Day approaches it sadly reminds me of the rut I've been in for 9 years now! We met the year before but I moved in V-Day 2003 and it pretty much been the same back and forth since then!...
Anyway fast forward to present day,she doesn't seem to want me around much except for the chores basically. And whenever I've brought this up she'll claim different but her actions say otherwise. And to add insult to injury she seems to like to do little things to add fuel to the fire so when I blow up she steps back in surprise...what an idiot. I'm tired of this.
Apparently you aren't really tired enough yet, or you'd DO something about it.

I suggest you get moving - inertia is a bad state to be in
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