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Old 02-29-2012, 07:15 AM
 
33,893 posts, read 39,923,944 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Trimac20 View Post
That doesn't make sense. If there are many people dating up there are also many people dating down too lol.
NO freaking kidding. That's why this entire perspective, and thread, is ridiculous.
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Old 02-29-2012, 07:16 AM
 
16,433 posts, read 20,864,659 times
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I don't expect a lot of agreement here, but as long as they really love one another, the rest doesn't matter.
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Old 02-29-2012, 07:24 AM
 
Location: Copenhagen, Denmark
10,937 posts, read 10,530,806 times
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Most research shows that mating in America is based on the principle of affinity: likes seek out likes.
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Old 02-29-2012, 07:28 AM
 
19,059 posts, read 23,778,613 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by he's so hott View Post
It's relative I guess bc you hear it all the time. However, I'm single and there are other famous and non famous single men doing quite well physically, mentally, financially and emotionally. I'm 35 and I've ran the numbers and I'd be better off single rather than marrying someone that has children or a woman that makes a much lower income than myself. I also workout a lot and have lost a lot of weight and gained more muscle and muscle tone over the past year. It's hard to workout like I do with a marriage/marriage and children; not saying that you can't do it bc people do but I see more married couples with children that don't. I have some really good close friends and I've into my church and that alone plays a role in my emotional health. I can definitely see how a being married to a woman that makes as much or more than I do would help to improve me and her financially, but that woman is few and far between where I live my daily life.

So my point is that maybe those studies are starting to become less relevant in a world where there are more single people that are doing well.
The studies address populations. It doesn't mean segments that naturally lay on either side of the curve are absent. It means in general for most. And the data can and will change as culture changes. It's not as if men are innately incapable of forging emotionally intimate relationships (apparently a requirement to thrive for most) since they do so with their wives. It just shouldn't be limited to their wives. I've seen the downside of this with my own father. It seems to get worse with age.
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Old 02-29-2012, 07:31 AM
 
19,059 posts, read 23,778,613 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by he's so hott View Post
How? When you first meet someone you're a blank slate; excluding meeting through online dating sites.
Not really. Most people meet through friends, family, or work. Online dating will probably change that.
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Old 02-29-2012, 07:52 AM
 
Location: US
5,139 posts, read 12,005,904 times
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I have seen mixed bag everywhere I have lived and its different in age sets. (coast to coast)

I think the total 1-10 score is more like an average of all scores on : looks, income, education, miscellaneous life skills and relationship emotional skills

On the shallow end I would say we are about equal. I have better hair and he has better abs.
HAHA! But I dunno...everyone thinks he is older than I am when he is younger. But we are both lean with great teeth. (thank you braces! ) Slightly above average heights. Both dress non - sloppy.

Income- he makes more than me currently. But in the past I have made more than him. In the future I will make equal or more than him.

Education - equal. We both went to a couple different schools for a couple different degrees. His GPA slayed mine as he likes to work and always had over a 4.0 due to heavy course loads. I only kept mine from 3.6-4.0. I have a more rounded background though. His focus points where technology(main), religious study and theology. Mine were english, medical, art and technology.


Misc life skills - we can/do both fix things/cook/housework. But he is better at computers and cars.
I am better at cooking at housework. But his chili and pasta salad recipe he learned from his grampa is pretty darn awesome. We share the same values on relationship behavior (whats acceptable and whats not)

Relationship skills - also equal. We both have had LTR before so we know what worth fight about and whats worth just a dirty look and letting it go. LOL
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Old 02-29-2012, 11:42 AM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
26,381 posts, read 29,093,020 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by he's so hott View Post
How? When you first meet someone you're a blank slate; excluding meeting through online dating sites.
No one is really a blank slate. You can see how they're dressed, who they're associating with, how they act. Even the venue where you meet is self-selecting: a bar on trance DJ night, a fundraiser for the art museum, the farmer's market, etc. It might not tell you the whole story about a person, but it still gives an introduction.
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Old 02-29-2012, 11:44 AM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,188 posts, read 23,392,010 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bideshi View Post
I don't expect a lot of agreement here, but as long as they really love one another, the rest doesn't matter.
I agree 100%. That's why I say that my husband and I are both 10's to each other and nothing else really matters.
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Old 02-29-2012, 11:47 AM
 
Location: New Jersey
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Mostly yes, I think good looking people like other good looking people. but a lot of the times I see that the men are less physically attractive then the women they're with.
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Old 02-29-2012, 11:48 AM
 
14,743 posts, read 31,365,603 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Braunwyn View Post
It exists and there is no marginalization based on married or single. At least, I have never come across anything suggesting as much in the literature. It is well known that women bond with each other with greater ease and that's why they manage better when single.
Don't need to...just talk to the divorced and widowed women you know, or observe them.
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