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Old 02-29-2012, 11:29 AM
 
Location: Sputnik Planitia
7,829 posts, read 11,808,435 times
Reputation: 9045

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Question for the men...

If you've started dating someone who made a low salary - not enough to afford to go out etc. and you made significantly more (say 2-3x) which scenario would you adopt?

#1:

Continue going to the same restaurants/hangouts, doing the same activities with the same frequency, taking her along for the same vacations you used to take... in essence not change a thing about your lifestyle KNOWING that your expenses are now going to effectively DOUBLE.

#2:

Downsize everything, go to cheaper restaurants, go less frequently, search for deals... go for cheaper vacations (preferably with deals), such that your budget roughly stays the same - THIS would be compromise in lifestyle to you.

#3:
Some combination of #1 and #2, especially go vacationing to more expensive places by yourself but go to cheaper places with her or expect her to save up and contribute what she can towards the vacation.
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Old 02-29-2012, 11:32 AM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,217 posts, read 100,811,993 times
Reputation: 40205
I guess this is important stuff to ponder when all you want to do is just date women.

But once you actually find one you really want to spend your life with this stuff won't matter a whit.

Just so you know.
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Old 02-29-2012, 11:39 AM
 
Location: Texas
391 posts, read 688,790 times
Reputation: 499
Quote:
Originally Posted by k374 View Post
Question for the men...

If you've started dating someone who made a low salary - not enough to afford to go out etc. and you made significantly more (say 2-3x) which scenario would you adopt?
If they are more interested in my finances than me I move on.

If they are interested in me then we move forward with whatever
arrangement she is comfortable with at the time.
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Old 02-29-2012, 11:45 AM
 
Location: 20 years from now
6,455 posts, read 7,019,468 times
Reputation: 4663
#3 is the rational answer

#2 is the most practical

Personally, I'd probably go with #3
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Old 02-29-2012, 11:49 AM
 
Location: NC
6,032 posts, read 9,222,080 times
Reputation: 6378
Since when does a woman pay her own way for this stuff anyways?
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Old 02-29-2012, 12:13 PM
 
Location: SoCal - Sherman Oaks & Woodland Hills
12,974 posts, read 33,987,767 times
Reputation: 10491
Quote:
Originally Posted by k374 View Post
Question for the men...

If you've started dating someone who made a low salary - not enough to afford to go out etc. and you made significantly more (say 2-3x) which scenario would you adopt?

#1:

Continue going to the same restaurants/hangouts, doing the same activities with the same frequency, taking her along for the same vacations you used to take... in essence not change a thing about your lifestyle KNOWING that your expenses are now going to effectively DOUBLE.

#2:

Downsize everything, go to cheaper restaurants, go less frequently, search for deals... go for cheaper vacations (preferably with deals), such that your budget roughly stays the same - THIS would be compromise in lifestyle to you.

#3:
Some combination of #1 and #2, especially go vacationing to more expensive places by yourself but go to cheaper places with her or expect her to save up and contribute what she can towards the vacation.
It will all depend on her hotness and how great the sex is. Those are important variables and will effect how one answers your question.

Also, Lovesmountains is absolutely dead on right in her post that those things would not matter if its a serious, committed relationship.
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Old 02-29-2012, 12:19 PM
 
Location: Sputnik Planitia
7,829 posts, read 11,808,435 times
Reputation: 9045
BUT, here is a test - what if the woman is less than thrilled about going to a fast food place (say Subway) to get a $5 sandwich for lunch implying that it is beneath her to eat at a place like Subway, does this signify high maintenance behavior? Remember, this is not during the initial dating process BUT after 8-9 dates and after two months of dating....
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Old 02-29-2012, 12:24 PM
 
Location: Austin
773 posts, read 1,261,103 times
Reputation: 947
Quote:
Originally Posted by k374 View Post
BUT, here is a test - what if the woman is less than thrilled about going to a fast food place (say Subway) to get a $5 sandwich for lunch implying that it is beneath her to eat at a place like Subway, does this signify high maintenance behavior? Remember, this is not during the initial dating process BUT after 8-9 dates and after two months of dating....
If her finances are dodgy or on the skids, then I'd definitely say YES. Just the ability to eat out anywhere is a privilege, not a given right. (I know a lot of women like that. Not a pot to pee in, but expect to be taken to top tier places. What?)

There's quite a disparity between my income and S.O.'s income. I do well, but I'm never going to make his salary. But he knows this and works with me on it. It's not like I can't pay for anything at all. We're a #2 couple for the most part, but whenever he wants to go someplace that I can't fit into my budget, we revert to #1.
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Old 02-29-2012, 12:31 PM
 
Location: Baltimore, MD
11,386 posts, read 9,304,429 times
Reputation: 52644
Quote:
Originally Posted by k374 View Post
Question for the men...

If you've started dating someone who made a low salary - not enough to afford to go out etc. and you made significantly more (say 2-3x) which scenario would you adopt?

#1:

Continue going to the same restaurants/hangouts, doing the same activities with the same frequency, taking her along for the same vacations you used to take... in essence not change a thing about your lifestyle KNOWING that your expenses are now going to effectively DOUBLE.

#2:

Downsize everything, go to cheaper restaurants, go less frequently, search for deals... go for cheaper vacations (preferably with deals), such that your budget roughly stays the same - THIS would be compromise in lifestyle to you.

#3:
Some combination of #1 and #2, especially go vacationing to more expensive places by yourself but go to cheaper places with her or expect her to save up and contribute what she can towards the vacation.

The math doesn't add up. The only way expenses double is if the partner is bringing in no money at all.

#1 is the logical answer.

How many can realistically afford to take multiple vacations during a year? I picture the scenero above as someone earning in excess of 100K per year. Only a small percentage of Americans earn that.

The "taking her along on the same vacations you used to take." I would need to know more. An extra plane ticket is not going to break someone's bank account that is earning a good salary. That is nothing more than being flat out cheap. If you take the trip alone you pay for the hotel anyway, right? So what's a lousy plane ticket? I'll bet in most cases this wouldn't even be noticed. And if you like to go on a cruise you pay double anyway unless you want a same sex roommate.

Adding - I guess if one is looking to share expenses they should move on. But I couldn't relate to this being an issue because a match is not easy to find.
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Old 02-29-2012, 12:33 PM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,192 posts, read 25,198,855 times
Reputation: 22276
I think each couple works this out for themselves. If you really love someone - you want to spend your lives TOGETHER - not with one person living the high life and one person living hand to mouth.
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