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I've been somewhat dating a shy, but confident girl. She's in her early 30's, I'm only a couple years younger. We've gone out on 4 really good dates, and she invited me up to her condo on the last date which I thought was a very bold move.
The thing is, we texted very briefly a couple days after that, but I've been sort of waiting for her to take the initiative and reach out to me. I know women don't usually do this, and that the traditional ideal is that I'm supposed to take the lead and contact her and ask her out on dates. But at what point should one expect the girl to call the guy or reach out to the guy rather than just return his calls.
I've had a relationship end a year ago that was hard to get over, and I'm at the point where I'm indifferent to a relationship. I like this girl, but I gotta see something in terms of effort in return. I can't be setting myself up to get burned all the time and I'm trying to take a step back and give her the chance to take the initiative and reach out to me for once. She only really reached out to me out of nowhere once in the last month that we've gone out, but I feel like I've put myself out there (even laid the first kiss on her which went a little awkward but not a total disaster).
Basically I feel like I need to see something back. Am I taking the wrong approach? I'm not desperate for a relationship, there's some days where I feel like I could care less what happens and I'm enjoying many things on my own being single. But I'm trying to keep the option open to meet a great girl and not shut myself out and become a bitter old man.
Hmmm, I don't think you're wrong at all. I'd wait and see what happens if I were you.
I don't know where you two met but hopefully you're not on a dating website currently. If you are, I'd suggest getting off it until you establish where things stand with this woman.
she should've really call you it's been 4 dates. but imo you're basically strangers, i don't know why you're even kissing her . but anyways you should dump her b/c she's going too slow for you already, that's apparent. what a shame.
Hmmm, I don't think you're wrong at all. I'd wait and see what happens if I were you.
Thanks for responding. I'm trying real hard to wait, I'm just curious at what point do I consider it a lost cause or finally give in and contact her?
I would normally be concerned about turning her off by not calling her for a long time, but I'm changing my ways and I know that if she has interest and she's the kind of girl I'm looking for she will contact me.
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I don't know where you two met but hopefully you're not on a dating website currently. If you are, I'd suggest getting off it until you establish where things stand with this woman.
We did meet on eharmony. I don't see what this means or the significance of it, but I have one month left on the site and there's only one other girl I'm talking to (haven't met/dated yet). Life has taught me that until I'm in an exclusive situation then I should keep my options open. Life is too short.
she should've really call you it's been 4 dates. but imo you're basically strangers, i don't know why you're even kissing her . but anyways you should dump her b/c she's going too slow for you already, that's apparent. what a shame.
Well I don't want to jump to any extremes here. My last relationship moved very quickly and that ended just as fast and it was heartbreaking. I kind of like the pace, this all doesn't bother me in any way, I'm just looking for outside opinion.
I just need to know where she stands on interest level and the kiss move didn't really give me a good reading (like it usually does 99% of the time) so I'm running out of hands.
By 4 dates, I need to know if she's at least somewhat interested in me, and if she is she will call me at some point.
Well I don't want to jump to any extremes here. My last relationship moved very quickly and that ended just as fast and it was heartbreaking. I kind of like the pace, this all doesn't bother me in any way, I'm just looking for outside opinion.
I just need to know where she stands on interest level and the kiss move didn't really give me a good reading (like it usually does 99% of the time) so I'm running out of hands.
By 4 dates, I need to know if she's at least somewhat interested in me, and if she is she will call me at some point.
oh okay. i understand.
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. but anyways you should dump her b/c she's going too slow for you already, that's apparent. what a shame.
