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I really like you. I do. You're so nice, and sweet, and you listen to all my problems and respond with the appropriate compliments. But, well, I don't really see a relationship in our future. It would be terrible if we let sex destroy this great friendship we have where I get everything I want and you get nothing you want. Don't you think?
A lot of guys think it wise not to be friends with women b/c you'll get "stuck" in the "friend-zone" and they won't want to date you. Far more often than not, them not wanting to date you isn't because you're their friend but because they're just not interested in you because you don't meet criteria X,Y, or Z. Of course, many of us tend to think we're perfect and all and instead of realizing the real reason they don't want to date us, we blame it on being friends and go on some anti-female friends crusade.
Comeon...do you really think women sit there and think to themselves: "Yah, here's this hot, incredible, caring, passionate, stable, intelligent, super great guy that I've grown to trust and care for and of course he'd be quite a suitable mate...but I don't want to date him because he's my friend, so nevermind." A few outliers might. But most women? Don't count on it.
Some women might say crap like the quotes in the OP, but that's to protect their guy friends' feelings; it's not the real reason that they're denying you.
A lot of people would even prefer to date a friend if able to choose. And when polled, most people will say they hope their future spouse starts off as a friend before dating.
That said, if you have crappy motives for making friends and are just in it as some puppy hoping some girl/guy will eventually come around and want you as more, then you're not really they're friend in the first place and probably shouldn't bother with opposite sex friends.
Men and women use the friendship excuse. But of course, the friendship excuse is so hilariously illogical, it's a wonder to me how it has survived all this time. No single woman or man on earth would ever pass up an opportunity to be with the one they love, just to save a friendship. Save it from what exactly? From it becoming a friendship plus intimacy and crazy passionate sex? Yes, that friendship does need saving...not!
A lot of guys think it wise not to be friends with women b/c you'll get "stuck" in the "friend-zone" and they won't want to date you. Far more often than not, them not wanting to date you isn't because you're their friend but because they're just not interested in you because you don't meet criteria X,Y, or Z. Of course, many of us tend to think we're perfect and all and instead of realizing the real reason they don't want to date us, we blame it on being friends and go on some anti-female friends crusade.
Comeon...do you really think women sit there and think to themselves: "Yah, here's this hot, incredible, caring, passionate, stable, intelligent, super great guy that I've grown to trust and care for and of course he'd be quite a suitable mate...but I don't want to date him because he's my friend, so nevermind." A few outliers might. But most women? Don't count on it.
Some women might say crap like the quotes in the OP, but that's to protect their guy friends' feelings; it's not the real reason that they're denying you.
A lot of people would even prefer to date a friend if able to choose. And when polled, most people will say they hope their future spouse starts off as a friend before dating.
That said, if you have crappy motives for making friends and are just in it as some puppy hoping some girl/guy will eventually come around and want you as more, then you're not really they're friend in the first place and probably shouldn't bother with opposite sex friends.
1st of all I think it's worth mentioning that this article was written by a woman and it was pretty much for humor.
2nd of all, It's a matter of unrequited feelings. A guy has fallen for his female friend but the female friend does not feel the same way about him at least at that point in time.
So from their either she'll eventually reciprocate his feelings for him or she will never have feelings for him and just see him as her friend. The former can happen there's no denying that but the latter can happen just as well so the guy waiting for the object of his affection to come around it may never happen and he wasted his time pining for a girl instead of moving on and talking to other girls who might have been interested in him.
So yes, opposite sex friendships can blossom into romance if both parties originally don't have feelings for each other which makes it easier for them to relax and see where it goes. But if one person develops unrequited feelings for the other than that person should just start limiting contact or cut contact altogether, because their guy/girl friend they have feelings for may never reciprocate.
I should probably dump my girlfriends because, as friends, we do those things for each other.
Or are guys incapable of friendship, and only look at women for sex?
Depends on the guy... depends on the girl.
Most guys feel that if they are putting up with the emotional side of a relationship, then the girl should be putting out with the physical side as well. But these guys are too meek to take charge of the situation.
After a certain age, being stuck in the friend-zone is really nobody's fault except for the guys. You simply need to make it clear to the girl that the reason you are hanging out with her is because you are interested in sex. You need to be straight forward. If she doesn't want sex - MOVE ON. If she's 'not sure yet' - MOVE ON. If she thinks you're a nice guy and would love to keep hanging out so she can get to know you - MOVE ON. There are PLEANTY of other girls that don't play those games.
Don't waste your time trying to win that girl over unless you are interested in a relationship, and are willing to risk being quarantined to the friend-zone. She would have to be a very special girl for that kind of effort, so trust your instincts, and choose wisely.
Control the situation, don't let her decide when the time is right to 'throw you a bone', you as the man must take the initiative.
Loved the article. It's funny because it's just true enough. Not proud of it, but I have to admit, I've been that girl.
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I'm sure many guys here (myself included) can identify with this...
