Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 03-12-2012, 01:15 AM
 
1,571 posts, read 2,805,488 times
Reputation: 661

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by bitterclinger View Post
one is a girlfriend when one is dating and/or in a serious relationship; one becomes a wife when one is married.
I suppose one becomes 'wife status' when a man proposes.
The problem is he did once asked the ''Will you marry me question'' long ago but afterwards never set up a specific date nor at least show other gestures that he was serious about it and not just talking. If he was serious, my status would have change from gf to fiancee already.
Then the topic was not brought up for a long time and he would just talk to me as a gf, sometimes I felt treated like a friend.

So that's what I'm asking. Where was I lacking??? I heard if a man either never proposes, or does but was only talking to lead her on then it's because she is was never good enough to be considered wife-material.

So if he never saw any potential in me, why the hell stringing me along for?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 03-12-2012, 01:19 AM
 
1,263 posts, read 1,164,760 times
Reputation: 341
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunflower_lol View Post
The problem is he did once asked the ''Will you marry me question'' long ago but afterwards never set up a specific date nor at least show other gestures that he was serious about it and not just talking. If he was serious, my status would have change from gf to fiancee already.
Then the topic was not brought up for a long time and he would just talk to me as a gf, sometimes I felt treated like a friend.

So that's what I'm asking. Where was I lacking??? I heard if a man either never proposes, or does but was only talking to lead her on then it's because she is was never good enough to be consider wife-material.
You have to warm them up to the idea first. Only a fool goes for the homerun with a single base hit.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-12-2012, 01:23 AM
 
1,571 posts, read 2,805,488 times
Reputation: 661
Quote:
Originally Posted by SamTM View Post
You have to warm them up to the idea first. Only a fool goes for the homerun with a single base hit.
I know but I was somewhat naivee then. I was a then 19 year-old virgin with practically zero experience (other than making-out) about relationships so that didn't really help out too much. The first time I ever fell in love too so I thought he was serious about it.
I know by now.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-12-2012, 01:34 AM
 
1,263 posts, read 1,164,760 times
Reputation: 341
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunflower_lol View Post
I know but I was somewhat naivee then. I was a then 19 year-old virgin with practically zero experience (other than making-out) about relationships so that didn't really help out too much. The first time I ever fell in love too so I thought he was serious about it.
I know by now.
Well, I can't speak for every man because we are all different. Here it goes... (1) We think you are attractive. You don't have to be a model, just "cute" is plenty. (2) Is she going to cheat on me? Is she the flirty type with all the other dudes while we are standing right there? If so, that is not a good sign for a wife. (3) Does she work, and can she hold a job? No guy likes a soap opera queen who doesn't, and won't work when WE really need the extra income. (4) If we were going to have kids, what kind of mother would she make? N/A if you both agree to not have children. (5) She has to have some sort of home skills. It's never good if the guy who only knows how to make brats, burgers, dogs and steaks is the master chef of the household. Oh..."so cook for yourself...cook for ourselves!" Yeah, well we need a "back up" plan in case we suck at it!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-12-2012, 01:46 AM
 
1,571 posts, read 2,805,488 times
Reputation: 661
Quote:
Originally Posted by SamTM View Post
(5) She has to have some sort of home skills. It's never good if the guy who only knows how to make brats, burgers, dogs and steaks is the master chef of the household. Oh..."so cook for yourself...cook for ourselves!" Yeah, well we need a "back up" plan in case we suck at it!
Yeah I do know the basic surviving skills (frying eggs, streaks, making the rice etc.). We're all going to learn more about it in our major (but almost at the end of the career). But I'm still far from being an expert at it. If I were making different plates, they would be kinda simple.
By the way, what you meant by brats?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-12-2012, 03:59 AM
 
2,725 posts, read 5,173,657 times
Reputation: 1963
I believe that in order to be wife-material you need to let your man know what is important to you. If he makes it important to himself, he is now husband-material for you.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-12-2012, 07:39 AM
 
406 posts, read 768,746 times
Reputation: 519
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunflower_lol View Post
The problem is he did once asked the ''Will you marry me question'' long ago but afterwards never set up a specific date nor at least show other gestures that he was serious about it and not just talking. If he was serious, my status would have change from gf to fiancee already.
Then the topic was not brought up for a long time and he would just talk to me as a gf, sometimes I felt treated like a friend.

So that's what I'm asking. Where was I lacking??? I heard if a man either never proposes, or does but was only talking to lead her on then it's because she is was never good enough to be considered wife-material.

So if he never saw any potential in me, why the hell stringing me along for?
why were you allowing him to string you along?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-12-2012, 07:51 AM
 
Location: Northern Wisconsin
10,379 posts, read 10,842,440 times
Reputation: 18712
To the OP. I might as well lay it on the line, I wouldn't consider you wife material. You don't even sound much like girlfriend material. I don't know what you think you can bring to the table. You're still in school, so you maybe have school debt, and are not employed full time so you will need to be supported. You don't like cooking or keeping a nice house. You say you don't care about having children but most men should know at your age that almost every woman has the potential to change her mind when she gets closer to 30. YOu apparently by your own admission don't have much of a sense of humor, and prefer to read, so you are not into any fun guy, outside activities. Maybe you should consider why would a guy be interested in you? After all, all women have the ability to make a man happy between the sheets.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-12-2012, 08:50 AM
 
Location: Washington, DC area
607 posts, read 1,212,785 times
Reputation: 692
I personally think that there's someone for everyone, that's the only way I can explain some of the pairings I've seen. But maybe you just weren't the right one for your ex.

I don't even know how much a lot of those domestic abilities matter in finding a partner. One of my good friends didn't cook and had barely even cleaned before she got married. She lived at home (where her mom did most of the cooking/cleaning) or in the dorm (where there was a cafeteria and she only had to pick her stuff up off the floor) before moving in with her husband. And he taught her to cook and clean. He is antisocial and has a strange sense of humor and she gets him to go out and helps him feel more comfortable.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-12-2012, 09:28 AM
 
1,571 posts, read 2,805,488 times
Reputation: 661
Quote:
Originally Posted by bitterclinger View Post
why were you allowing him to string you along?
He's my ex bf now. After a while I got fed up with it and send him to hell.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 07:44 PM.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top