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Old 03-12-2012, 09:41 AM
 
1,571 posts, read 2,805,488 times
Reputation: 661

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Prairieparson View Post
To the OP. I might as well lay it on the line, I wouldn't consider you wife material. You don't even sound much like girlfriend material. I don't know what you think you can bring to the table. You're still in school, so you maybe have school debt, and are not employed full time so you will need to be supported. You don't like cooking or keeping a nice house. You say you don't care about having children but most men should know at your age that almost every woman has the potential to change her mind when she gets closer to 30. YOu apparently by your own admission don't have much of a sense of humor, and prefer to read, so you are not into any fun guy, outside activities. Maybe you should consider why would a guy be interested in you? After all, all women have the ability to make a man happy between the sheets.
Thank you for being honest. I wish my ex bf would have told me that in my face if he felt the same way. Instead it's like he wanted me to be the one breaking up. One time I recalled him telling me not to get attach to him (since he was my first) but it was bad of him to string me along with false hope of marriage out of pity.
There really needs to be more men like you who are straight forward and honest. I would rather have a man tell me that than string me along for 4 yrs again.
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Old 03-12-2012, 09:44 AM
 
6,536 posts, read 7,253,215 times
Reputation: 3805
Sunflower_lol,
It’s not that you don’t have housewife characteristics, it’s just that marriage is not really your thing at the moment. You’re barely 25 and there is so much you can do now as a single woman. Hey, that’s what I am doing. I am travelling around the world taking vacations maybe every 3 or 4 months, touring with my band when there’s a chance, taking care of my parents, dating, etc. Heck, I just got back from a vacation 3 weeks ago and I am ready to take off on another vacation in a couple of weeks.

Marrying shouldn’t be something negative or to groan about. It may be if you don’t marry at the right time. Every stage in life has something to enjoy but it comes with it’s responsibility as well. I have enjoyed many things in my life as a bachelor and if I get married this year I don’t think I would go “Darn it, I wish I could have done X while I could”, nope, I am satisfied and ready to move to another stage in life with my girlfriend, I have already enjoyed my life as it is and have no regrets .

Last edited by onihC; 03-12-2012 at 10:05 AM..
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Old 03-12-2012, 09:46 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,585,620 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunflower_lol View Post
I've heard that phrase on different sites. What exactly is it that they're looking for. Do I possess some qualities or not?

Things I do/don't do and qualities I might have or don't have
1) I don't really have too many characteristics of a house-wife (I'm useless when it comes to recipes or decorating/organizing the house but might hire a maid in the future, plus I can't use detergent nor do any heavy cleaning due to my allergies)
2) Have no interest in ever having kids and will be turning 25 next month.. it's ok for me as I'm slowly waiting for all the eggs to die
3) I'm focusing on finishing Turism & Travel management major (I'm paying for my courses)
4) I have plans on traveling to historical places, not staying home all day
5) But even though I'm different and like stated will never bear a child, I want to get married one day (I just want a husband, not add someone else in the picture)
6) I hardly ever dye my nails nor put make-up on (sometimes I wear the same clothes)
7) I'm sort of a bookish person and sometimes lack a sense of humor
8) Regarding my past: only an ex and that's about it but I think it's because I need to go out often

Or will many men still look for the woman with some household characteristics as well as one with nurturing urges towards kids?

Thing is I'm very different and it's probably gonna take me a while to find him. It's like they still want a woman that's kinda traditional in some roles. I don't fit them. I think that's why my ex bf never saw me as potential wife and so strung me along.

People in my family are getting married one by one and sometimes it makes me kinda upset that I still haven't found him.... the one that will accept me like this.
You haven't described a wife. You've mostly described a housekeeper.

Whether you are marriage material will depend on the person who's considering marrying you. Someone is considered "marriage material" when they find that they always think about their SO and want to share things with them all the time and decide to commit their lives to each other without anyone else in the picture.

You will change in many ways throughout your life, including whether you want kids, what kind of so-called domestic pursuits you're into and maybe even your belief in a higher power. People grow and change.

But someone worth marrying will want you for the basic human qualities that make you great. Just be who you are and stop believing in STEREOTYPES.
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Old 03-12-2012, 09:46 AM
 
Location: SoCal - Sherman Oaks & Woodland Hills
12,974 posts, read 33,841,656 times
Reputation: 10491
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunflower_lol View Post
I've heard that phrase on different sites. What exactly is it that they're looking for. Do I possess some qualities or not?
You can list all your qualities and whatever till the cows come home and it doesnt matter. For most guys, a woman will ONLY be considered and/or looked at as potential wife material ONLY and I say it again ONLY if HE'S LOOKING TO GET MARRIED HIMSELF. Bottom line, again, is if the guy isnt looking for marriage, dont worry about trying to be marriage "material" in his eyes.
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Old 03-12-2012, 10:18 AM
 
2,472 posts, read 3,185,996 times
Reputation: 2267
When she's ready, just like for everyone............Why is this hard for people? Women aren't pieces of equipment or cattle that need to be prepped for someone else to use.....
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Old 03-12-2012, 10:41 AM
 
1,571 posts, read 2,805,488 times
Reputation: 661
Quote:
Originally Posted by LaoTzuMindFu View Post
You can list all your qualities and whatever till the cows come home and it doesnt matter. For most guys, a woman will ONLY be considered and/or looked at as potential wife material ONLY and I say it again ONLY if HE'S LOOKING TO GET MARRIED HIMSELF. Bottom line, again, is if the guy isnt looking for marriage, dont worry about trying to be marriage "material" in his eyes.
Nowadays it's like the majority of men all suddenly trying to avoid marriage. I was going peeking through another forum and there were male poster talking about nothing but cons about getting married and how that is a living hell.

So I guess finding a marriage-minded man is like finding a needle in a haystack. Those posters were the typical studs that still wanted to play the fields or date endlessly for years.

The more I read those posts, the more it sucks. Very of the male poster have something good to say about it. Only 1-3 posters were marriage-oriented men on that forum.
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Old 03-12-2012, 10:42 AM
 
35,095 posts, read 50,980,354 times
Reputation: 62660
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunflower_lol View Post
I've heard that phrase on different sites. What exactly is it that they're looking for. Do I possess some qualities or not?

Things I do/don't do and qualities I might have or don't have
1) I don't really have too many characteristics of a house-wife (I'm useless when it comes to recipes or decorating/organizing the house but might hire a maid in the future, plus I can't use detergent nor do any heavy cleaning due to my allergies)
2) Have no interest in ever having kids and will be turning 25 next month.. it's ok for me as I'm slowly waiting for all the eggs to die
3) I'm focusing on finishing Turism & Travel management major (I'm paying for my courses)
4) I have plans on traveling to historical places, not staying home all day
5) But even though I'm different and like stated will never bear a child, I want to get married one day (I just want a husband, not add someone else in the picture)
6) I hardly ever dye my nails nor put make-up on (sometimes I wear the same clothes)
7) I'm sort of a bookish person and sometimes lack a sense of humor
8) Regarding my past: only an ex and that's about it but I think it's because I need to go out often

Or will many men still look for the woman with some household characteristics as well as one with nurturing urges towards kids?

Thing is I'm very different and it's probably gonna take me a while to find him. It's like they still want a woman that's kinda traditional in some roles. I don't fit them. I think that's why my ex bf never saw me as potential wife and so strung me along.

People in my family are getting married one by one and sometimes it makes me kinda upset that I still haven't found him.... the one that will accept me like this.

Cripes, you make it sound like some guy is out buying a bolt of fabric to take home and make curtains.
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Old 03-12-2012, 10:52 AM
 
1,263 posts, read 1,164,760 times
Reputation: 341
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunflower_lol View Post
Yeah I do know the basic surviving skills (frying eggs, streaks, making the rice etc.). We're all going to learn more about it in our major (but almost at the end of the career). But I'm still far from being an expert at it. If I were making different plates, they would be kinda simple.
By the way, what you meant by brats?
http://www.pimsmultimedia.com/johnso...rill_Brats.pdf
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Old 03-12-2012, 10:55 AM
 
1,571 posts, read 2,805,488 times
Reputation: 661
Quote:
Originally Posted by CSD610 View Post
Cripes, you make it sound like some guy is out buying a bolt of fabric to take home and make curtains.
I know maybe I'm exaggerating but it's like most like a woman with good domestic skills and it wouldn't matter to them if she isn't smart nor career-oriented either.

Two men in my family in their early-mid 30's got recently married to women about 6-8 years younger than them. It's already known that they aren't into forming a career but have good home skills and the desires to start a family.

But yes... there has to be someone for everyone... someone for me out there waiting. If it happens, I'll get everyone of you know and post the pictures.
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Old 03-12-2012, 10:57 AM
 
Location: southern california
61,289 posts, read 87,104,404 times
Reputation: 55550
u have good qualities married or not dont have to be married to prove it.
men are not looking. they are hiding.
women like getting married not being married.
when she is crazy to be married he thinks its bek of him. horrid mistake.
67% actual divorce rate, 70% of the time filed by her.
get a prenup guys.
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