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We were more than 3 in my house and my parents delegated different house chores between me and my siblings and those would rotate every week or so, my parents would do other things. Can’t remember a single day when my house was dirty. Not sure if this kind of thing would work in the USA considering how even children can sue their parents if they are disciplined or something.
That’s how I do it too in the countries where I have lived and so far it has worked just fine. I know that any day of the week if someone calls me to drop by, I don’t run around like a chicken without its head because I know my place is clean all week long as I don’t let house chores pile up. If something needs to be picked up or cleaned up, I’ll do it right there on the spot. I don’t see why I would let it stay there until later.
Sounds like our households ran similarly. We were a family of 3 but my house was always spotless, due most in part because I was not allowed to touch most things. But my mom would use Sundays to get all the chores done, leaving her a lot of leisure time during the week to pursue her many hobbies. Grocery shopping was done once a week, cooking once a week (for the entire week) and on school days I ate breakfast at home, had a packed brown bag lunch and ate dinner at home. If I was sick or had a school play, one parent usually took time off work to come even if it were only for one hour. But that was not often. Maybe once per school year.
But I'm not knocking SATMs. Every family operates differently. Just trying to understand since the idea was so foreign to me until I was adult, but I didn't get why it was necessary at all when I first learned of it.
I'll take a stab at the "daily duties"t thing. Keep in mind I have 3 kids (ages 14,10 & 20 months) and I work full time. However, I COULD easily fill a day with household chores,cooking & child related activities.
First off, infants & toddler are completely dependant on you for EVERY want or need. feeding them (messy,time consuming,& requires cleanup),bathing them, dressing them (like dressing a pissed octopus!), they will only "play independantly" for short lengths of time and of course you have to make sure they are socialized,educated & have enough physical activity to make them sleep at night. When they are sick you are likely to have to sit an hold them all day or watch them scream in helpless misery.You make sure they are at their Dr. appointments so that your spouse CAN be at work.
Then in my case when my school age kids get home- I have whatever homework to assist with & after school activity to drive them to -or both , of course I have to do at LEAST a minimal daily pick up of the house to avoid living in a sty or facing a bigger chore tomorrow. Then you start dinner for your family all while catering to above toddler's needs.
At least monthly you would have to assess finances, plan meals and shop accordingly.
I find a way to be at work AND make the above happen with the help of a quality daycare, slightly looser standards on perfection as far a spotless home, asking my husband for help when needed & by making sure I spend quality time with my kids when I am at home even if it means something will go undone.
I think the deal breaker for some stay at home moms is not the HOUSEHOLD it is having someone ELSE care for the needs of their child all day.
I had a Mon-Friday nanny from 1-18 months. I started pre-k when I was less than 3 years old. Then kindergarten and grade school. My mother worked as a head nurse (55+ hours a week-12 hour night shifts) and my father worked a normal 9-5 with a considerable amount of cross-country travel. I would go to AM and PM programs at school everyday until someone came to pick me and my brother up. During the summer I was always enrolled in summer camp from 8am-3pm 5 days a week. I always had a ton of friends, always had activities to do, was very athletic and loved the outdoors.
Helped socialize me. Never went through the kick/screaming fits when being separated from my parents. Our house was always spotless. My mom managed to clean even when working OT.
OK ladies get real for a minute. In a perfect world if you had the choice to either work outside the home or be home to care for the needs of your family which would you choose? Today I noticed a lady dropping her daughter off at daycare and I refuse to believe if given the choice she would be dropping her daughter off rather than caring for her herself.
Well I'm not challenging anyone, I just want to understand all these chores they have to do. Granted the more kids you have the more chores. I do understand that. I was an only child so my parents didn't have as much to do and they both helped out. I see it being that way if I'm lucky to have one myself.
But I don't have laundry, errands or chores everyday. I don't even have the money to run errands or shop several times a week. I go to Target and food shop bi-weekly. We cleaned yesterday so there is nothing to clean today. Tomorrow probably only dishes.
If you live in a nice small apt. or home with everything already done and it is just you and a spouse (that contributes to the chores) home in the evenings, I can see your confusion.
In my situation, my "house" is still a progress in work. I live on a small farm (mud, mud and more mud sometimes it poop), heat with wood (dust, dust and small wood chips, ashes, ashes, ashes). I have one dog with a bladder issue and a long haired cat that sneaks in the house. My weekends are for messing not cleaning. I have my adult son, 2 g-kids and their friends and the bf home on the weekend. You just cant imagine the cooking and laundry, muddy boots and coats, red solo cups, cans, wrappers, etc. I dont know how spoons, forks and socks get out in the yard. I dont try too hard to keep it clean on the weekend. Come Monday, everyone is gone for the week.
Ill get home none of the 4 beds are made. The floor downstairs and upstairs needs swept and moped, rugs vacuumed, coats put up and laundry put away. Dusting from the wood heat and spider webs, some dirty dishes still n the sink, clean the pee off the toliet seats and the toothpaste out of the sink. Clean everyone’s crap off the kitchen table and pledge away the sticky jelly and syrup, empty the dishwasher. This is just inside stuff. Now I wont get all that done tonight after work, Ill get home about 5, put wood on the fire if it needs it, fix a bottle and go out to the barn to feed the baby and check everyone’s water and put out some hay, gather the eggs, check the water in the hot tub. If Im lucky there are no animal issues to deal with. Ill do some of it, fix me something to eat and clean up. By then its about time to sit and relax a minute, maybe get on the computer, sew, read or watch tv and go to bed. This is a day I don’t have to stop at the grocery or feed store, or see my aunt in the nursing home. The rest of the week after my usual farm chores, I will continue to clean and pick up a little take the garbage out to the truck then drive to the dump, by the time the weekend rolls around it starts all over again. In between Im working on some projects, sheet rock in the closet, finishing the tile in the bathroom, working on the utility room. I really need to dust the ceiling fans and fix that light, water the plants and put those shelves up.
OK ladies get real for a minute. In a perfect world if you had the choice to either work outside the home or be home to care for the needs of your family which would you choose? Today I noticed a lady dropping her daughter off at daycare and I refuse to believe if given the choice she would be dropping her daughter off rather than caring for her herself.
My mother didn't need to work (father made well over 100k alone) but she chose to work because she loved being a nurse.
I don't want to have children of my own but if I did I would never throw away 6 years of college and a job I love just to stay at home.
If I HAD a choice I would have stayed home for the 1st year and then returned to work. This time around we were not financially able to do that.
I wanna know what you MEN prefer if it were a choice =)
Asking my male co worker's most of them say they would rather have their wives at home.
I know my husband would prefer a second income for financial security & stability unless we were so well of that it was pointless for me not to be home.
Then in my case when my school age kids get home- I have whatever homework to assist with & after school activity to drive them to -or both , of course I have to do at LEAST a minimal daily pick up of the house to avoid living in a sty or facing a bigger chore tomorrow. Then you start dinner for your family all while catering to above toddler's needs
Have you tried telling your other children, not the toddler of course, to chip in and take care of some house chores? Maybe it is cultural differences but my parents would help out with my homework IF I didn't understand something and I asked them. Other than that, I took care of my homework and school projects and also house chores. Even when I got my very first part time job, I would take care of buying the groceries for my family or some other basic bills. When I visit the USA I am surprised to see how parents pay for their children's tuition, their car, their phone bill, wedding, etc.
If you live in a nice small apt. or home with everything already done and it is just you and a spouse (that contributes to the chores) home in the evenings, I can see your confusion.
In my situation, my "house" is still a progress in work. I live on a small farm (mud, mud and more mud sometimes it poop), heat with wood (dust, dust and small wood chips, ashes, ashes, ashes). I have one dog with a bladder issue and a long haired cat that sneaks in the house. My weekends are for messing not cleaning. I have my adult son, 2 g-kids and their friends and the bf home on the weekend. You just cant imagine the cooking and laundry, muddy boots and coats, red solo cups, cans, wrappers, etc. I dont know how spoons, forks and socks get out in the yard. I dont try too hard to keep it clean on the weekend. Come Monday, everyone is gone for the week.
Ill get home none of the 4 beds are made. The floor downstairs and upstairs needs swept and moped, rugs vacuumed, coats put up and laundry put away. Dusting from the wood heat and spider webs, some dirty dishes still n the sink, clean the pee off the toliet seats and the toothpaste out of the sink. Clean everyone’s crap off the kitchen table and pledge away the sticky jelly and syrup, empty the dishwasher. This is just inside stuff. Now I wont get all that done tonight after work, Ill get home about 5, put wood on the fire if it needs it, fix a bottle and go out to the barn to feed the baby and check everyone’s water and put out some hay, gather the eggs, check the water in the hot tub. If Im lucky there are no animal issues to deal with. Ill do some of it, fix me something to eat and clean up. By then its about time to sit and relax a minute, maybe get on the computer, sew, read or watch tv and go to bed. This is a day I don’t have to stop at the grocery or feed store, or see my aunt in the nursing home. The rest of the week after my usual farm chores, I will continue to clean and pick up a little take the garbage out to the truck then drive to the dump, by the time the weekend rolls around it starts all over again. In between Im working on some projects, sheet rock in the closet, finishing the tile in the bathroom, working on the utility room. I really need to dust the ceiling fans and fix that light, water the plants and put those shelves up.
OK ladies get real for a minute. In a perfect world if you had the choice to either work outside the home or be home to care for the needs of your family which would you choose? Today I noticed a lady dropping her daughter off at daycare and I refuse to believe if given the choice she would be dropping her daughter off rather than caring for her herself.
Lets ask it this way too.
OK gentlemen get real for a minute. In a perfect world if you had the choice to either work outside the home or be home to care for the needs of your family which would you choose? Today I noticed a gentleman dropping his daughter off at daycare and I refuse to believe if given the choice he would be dropping her daughter off rather than caring for her himself.
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