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No, what is this, the roaring 20s? I grew up in a household where both my folks worked, and I expect the same. **** that, I'm no breadwinner either and if I was making high six figures I'd still want my wife to work.
Sometimes when you do the math, having a stay at home spouse actually makes more sense, if the other spouses job isn't well paying enough. A coworker did the math with his wife. She made a good salary ($60K or 70k), but they have 4 kids. With the daycare and commuting costs (she had 60-70 mile round trip commute), it was more expensive for her to work. So she ended up staying home. You never know.
In my opinion there is a huge difference between being a stay at home Mother and a stay at home wife.
Staying at home to look after your children is beneficial, staying at home to play housewife is lazy. While two people can be working and building equity and a good financial base, they should be doing that. There is simply no excuse for women to stay at home and eat bonbons all day.
And I would agree, but do you really think there are many women actually doing that?
When my kids were small we didn't need an extra income, and I'd have preferred that my wife stay home with them, but she missed the socialization of working. She tried working part-time, but her employer was constantly calling to ask if she could "fill-in" for an absent employee, so she finally just decided to work full-time. I don't believe that growing up at a daycare center damaged our kids in any way. In fact, it probably helped them become well balanced, independent and outgoing.
Nice to think about staying home -- except when he picks up and leaves she usually has no formal education, job training nor job. Nothing like putting all your eggs in one basket & winging it.
So for the men, if you earned enough to support an entire family, would you prefer your wife to stay home?
What about when the kids are school-aged? Are there any men who would prefer their wives to work and help with finances?
My wife is pretty much a stay-at-home. Well, she works evenings (ballroom dance teacher) and I am okay with it.
What makes it great is that I would love to make plenty of money where she could just use the time to pursue her interests which for her are all business/art related.
Having a stay at home wife would be unacceptable if she just lounged around and didnt do anything productive around the household like keep it super clean, have meals prepared, sex every day with me, etc. These are things that she would have to do if she wanted to be a true stay at home.
Not married, but to answer the question no, I do not prefer stay at home partner. First, there is financial side, I do not like the pressure of being a single provider, I feel more relaxed knowing that we won't be out on the street if anything happens to my job, plus, it's very hard to buy a house, raise a family, put kids through college, and have enough saved for retirement all on a single income. Second, I would want to be with someone strong and independent, an equal, someone who wanted to be with me because she wanted to, not because she needed to, someone with ambition beyond being a stay at home mom. Third, I do not subscribe to the theory that having one stay at home parent is better for raising children. I think that stay at home parent would encourage unhealthy dependency on parents, think helicopter parenting style. I believe children should be raised independent, they should be allowed to make their own mistakes (within reason), they should have as much social interaction from early age (kindergarten) as possible instead of being cuddled at home, parents should be there for the kid, but they should be a guiding hand only, they should not make decisions for their kids, they should not run kids' lives. Of course that implies a healthy work-live balance from the parent side, someone working two jobs can't possibly do that, however, as long as parents have time after work to socialize with kids, help with homework, their problems, etc, I think that is actually better for the kids than stay at home parent.
All fine and dandy, but you forgot to include the infancy/daycare/after-school care costs that 2 working parents need to outlay, as well as having to decide who is going to miss work to stay home with sick kids. On top of that, if the kid(s) have any behavioral/mental/physical disorders, it's again up in the air who is going to take them to doctors, who is going to talk to the school about accommodations, and who ultimately may need to homeschool.
See this:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life
our financial advisor was working up some insurance quotes and figured out that it would cost my husband $112K/year to hire someone to replace me.
These are the costs you are looking at with your independent wife.
In my opinion there is a huge difference between being a stay at home Mother and a stay at home wife.
Staying at home to look after your children is beneficial, staying at home to play housewife is lazy. While two people can be working and building equity and a good financial base, they should be doing that. There is simply no excuse for women to stay at home and eat bonbons all day.
LOL. I get your point.
My mom didnt work until I was almost out of HS. I loved that my mother was always home. she was abosolutly great. Our house was spotless, 3 meals a day and she was always there for anything we needed. As wonderful as it was for me, I knew I never wanted that life. I have worked since I was 11, almost always made more money than my 2 wasbands and did about all of the domestic stuff too. My kid grew up much different than I. At this point in my life that I already have things and a fairly good income, I would love to have a stay at home man. If I could find one that actually invested their efforts in making my life easier by keeping the house and doing the farm work and cooking for me. But I dont see that happening.
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